etiquette question on returning gifts

smooch Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:18 AM

etiquette question on returning gifts

if a wedding is postponed (indefinitely) and the e-party was a year prior, do the bride and groom return their gifts? what about shower gifts? what about gifts that have been used by the bride and groom? do they then give the gift-giver back the money that was spent on the gift?

julybride444 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:22 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

Talk to your parents about it, and his parents too. Since many of the guests will be close to them they'll have a good idea what you should do.

Or call guests individually and offer to send gifts back, I can't imagine anyone would take you up on it. In fact, if someone sent a gift I gave them back for this reason without talking to me first, I'd be annoyed. What am I going to do with it-save it till your wedding?

swags1016 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:27 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

I am not sure what the etiquette is for returning the gifts. I think that it is anything that is unopened is supposed to be returned. I am sure this is painful for you! Is is possible that you can have your parents call all guests from your side and his parents call all the guests from his side and have them take care of it!

EBM7 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:55 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

I just found this site - hope it helps.

http://www.usabride.com/wedplan/a_break_engagement.html

smooch Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:36 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

thanks - i'll pass the info along.

michele31 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:46 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

If the wedding date is being changed because your FH is being deployed (military) or because of an illness then I wouldn't return the gifts since you will still have the wedding- just not yet.
If it is being changed because of personal issues between the bride and groom then I would have a formal note printed up explaining that you appreciate the thought but the wedding has been postponed and no new date has been set.

smooch Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:53 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

michele31, so you'd send the note, would you send the gift(s) along with it or wait for the person to respond?

Sunny Posted: Jul 02, 2003 11:13 AM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

I would not return the gifts- I don't think people would want/expect you to.

mv1003 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 12:16 PM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

My girlfriend who called off her wedding returned all the gifts. If the wedding is being cancelled and not post-poned, I think the gifts should be returned. Post-poned, I agree w/ Michele, send a note, do not return the gifts.

Alvatorre74 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 12:30 PM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

I WOULD RETURN THE GIFT...AND SEND MONEY BACK TO THE PEOPLE WHOS GIFT U HAVE ALREADY USED...BUT THATS JMO..

butterfly20 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 12:41 PM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

i would say to return the gift, however sometimes thats the last thing on the couples mind and gift ends up not being returned..

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 02, 2003 12:42 PM

Re: etiquette question on returning gifts

You are supposed to return all gifts even monogramed ones - usually the person who gave you the gift will let you keep it - but you are supposed to try to return everything when you call off the wedding for good. (not count for postponments)