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Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

Mrs.Ptobe Posted:

Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

I have a question about what I am to pay for when it comes to my bridal party...

One of my BM's has a 4 y.o. daughter who will be my FG. I want to make sure I do the right thing by them so I need to know what if anything the bride customarily pays for in cases like this where mom is a BM and her child is a FG? Should I offer to help pay or pay in full for the child's dress since the mom has to also pay for a BM dress?

I have another child around 12 in my BP as a junior BM - FH's goddaughter - what are the brides obligations for someone like that too?

Just wondering, I know usually BM's pay for their own dresses and such and if the Bride wants, they can pay for hair or make up and give her girls gifts, but are there anythings that would be rude of me not to pay for - especially when it comes to the children. Not sure of the ettiquette here...
iffy Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

My 1st wedding, my brother & his wife were in my bp, as well as their son & daughter (my flower girl)...I found a dress I thought was perfect for her (off the rack in Macy's - on sale after Communion season!), and I bought it. I felt it was the least I could do....

if you can afford it, it's a nice gesture...
miss nee Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

I THINK FOR THE FG ..BUT ONLY IF ITS A SALE ITEM OR SOMETHING THAT U CAN AFFORD
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

you are by no means responsible for the fg dress. you can offer to pay, but you don't have to. i had my aunt as a bm her 2 kids are fg and rb. i offered to pay half of the fg dress, but she would not let me. i also chose a somewhat ineepenseive dress.

maybride75 Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

first off when you ask someone and their kids to be in the wedding party usually they know that right off the bat by saying yees that theyt would be responsible for the dress. look at my wedding party for example my sister bernadette has to dress herself, her daughter which is the FG and her son and husband RB and usher. and my other sister the MOH her husband and her 3 kids are in the party as well and they had no problem with it

nifheim Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

My sister in law is my bridesmaid and my neice and nephew are the rb and fg. My brother is a suffolk po so they have $$$$ so i am not paying for her dress his tux but my mom said anyway she wanted to buy the dress for my niece anyway as a gift for her. The only thing it kinda ***** because if we waited another year to get married she could of worn it to her communion. I agree with the above try to get something on sale if you want .. and that will be your gift to her to be in the bp.

waterspout4 Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

You are not responsible to pay, but you know how their situations are. It's a nice gesture to offer to pay. Since my SIL, brother and their 2 kids were all in the BP, I didn't want to get an expensive FG dress for my niece to wear. I really didn't care about what the dress looked like, so I told the mom to get whatever dress she wanted, in any of the 3 wedding colors. This made it easy for her to find something cheap. If you want more of a say in the type of dress, go after Easter. Stores have crazy sales on pretty dresses at that time.

I also did some different things for girls in my BP. For my MOH, I paid for her dress. She is a single mom, and her first child was just entering college. It was the least I could do. And another BM had just been laid off about 6 months before the wedding, so I offered to pay for her hair if she wanted it. (The dress had already been paid for by her)

Every situation is different. There aren't certain guidelines to always follow. It's true that when they accept to be in a BP, they also accept the financial obligations. But it doesn't mean that you can't help out when situations arise. We paid for our own wedding with no help. But it was worth the extra few hundred dollars to make sure that we had those around us on our wedding day that meant the world to us.
Tria1110 Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

My fg is my goddaughter as well as the daughter of a BM & GM. I offered to pay and they refused. They were happy to pay.

I don't think offering to pay is a bad idea.
Mrs.Ptobe Posted:

Re: Ettiquette question for Bridal Party...

I know it's true about if you say yes to be in a BP you understand the financial obigations, but it's also an honor on both my part and theirs. 2 times this week once by my MOH and once by one of my BM's I was told 'anything you need I'm here for you' - I almost cried each time. When I told my jr bridesmaid's mom and she asked her daughter if she wanted to be in her Godfather's BP party she was so excited and told me I made her day! Hearing that made my day! Everyone in my BP is incredibly special to me (as I'm sure is usually the case), I'm asking a lot of them, especially my MOH who just had her second son 2 weeks ago and my BM who has the 2 little one's - one of which is old enough to be a FG, the other's going to be under 18 months at the time of the wedding so it wasn't practical. I just want to make sure I do the right thing by all these ladies, but I'm never sure what the right thing is and I'm on a very tight budget - but how do you put a price on friendship? I will tell you that if it wasn't for all the ladies in my BP (and the jr BM's mother) I don't know that I'd be getting married. FH and I had a tough situation for a while there, but we got through it thanks to the support mainly from those I asked to be in my BP. When the world was against us, they always remained positive, gave me hope and saw how good FH and I are for eachother.

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