Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

Leelee Posted: Jun 19, 2002 07:20 PM

Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

A while back, I posted a message about a bridesmaid who dropped out of my wedding. I'm still in shock over the situation and am quite hurt.
I have tried to call her once on her cell phone and I emailed her a month ago to say hello. I'm trying to re-establish our friendship and she has ignored both my call and email.
If you do a search, you'll see the whole story of why she droppped out (the end of march)-basically, because I gave her 4 dresses to choose from and allowed the other girls to choose their own dress.
I guess the point of this post is-do you think I should call her at home? And I do that, if she asks why things turned out the way they did-should I tell her the truth?
Any advice would be great. I was planning on being the bigger person and inviting her to the wedding but now I'm not so sure I want to do that.

Suzanne Posted: Jun 19, 2002 07:55 PM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

If you feel you need to call her than you should do it, but will it make you feel even worse if she ignores your call or even worse hangs up or says something you dont like? thats always the killer for me, if i call to make amends and they blow me off i feel even worse after..

jennbaby Posted: Jun 19, 2002 08:05 PM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

i wouldnt call a 'friend' who did that to me at the most important & special time of my life!

aug9bride Posted: Jun 19, 2002 08:23 PM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

I probably wouldn't call her at all but it might make you feel better if you did. If you do decide to call her I would be completely open and honest with her.

Cindy Posted: Jun 19, 2002 08:37 PM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

If you feel you need to make one last attempt to try her at home then I would do it. If somehow the friendship is over, maybe this will be the closure you need to move on.

Leelee Posted: Jun 19, 2002 08:54 PM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

Totally-I have no idea what to think about it. We were friends for a long time-about 7 years and we were really good friends. Closure is a good word to describe it. My FH thinks I should call when I'm ready but I'm not sure I even want to be bothered by it.
In my last email I tried to sound normal and upbeat about things like it never happened, but I wrote the email 1 month ago and haven't heard anything. She's the one friendship I kept from college and it's killing me to think that this might be the end.

JennK Posted: Jun 20, 2002 01:11 AM

Re: Ex-bridesmaid, friend dilemma

It is obviously something that is very upsetting to you, and it is completely understandable. It seems like you want to salvage the friendship, and even though it is totally wrong of her not to have returned your email or phone call, I would probably call her one more time. Either way, you are going to mend the friendship or end the friendship with that call and I think you need to know either way. Good luck with it, I hope it all works out in the end.