Explaining Bridesmaid Selections

Has anyone had to explain the decision to include certain people in your bridal party or exclude others?
Today I went to my little twin cousins' christening and of course there was a party afterwards. My second cousin who is a year younger than me and has two children and lives in Connecticut asked my mother who my bridesmaid were going to be. My mom who always offers whatever information is asked of her and then some tells her who they are. One of which was a yonger cousin who live literally around the corner from me and my two friends. After, discovering this information she (the unchosen) proceeded to comment to my other cousin' Hey Bridesmaid. ' Loudly says at the table for me and my bridesmaid cousin to hear it's good I didn't ask her because she's already dealing with one bridezilla getting married (referring to her stepsister who's wedding she is in. I felt bad that she obviously was upset. So after the christening I called her and explained why I had made the decision I did. Then she was like but I didn't think you were that close to my other cousin. I am and she lives and it just makes life easier in the planning and what not of showers and fitting with having evertone be local. Then she's like I didn't even give her a choice. I feel bad but I really don't want to add another person and we are not as close as we used to be.
Are any of you going through this with the people you chose for BMs and MOHs or rather the ones you did not chose?

I kinda dealt with it. It wasn't exactly stated to me but I knew she was thinking it. A friend of mine who's wedding I was in last year I think had a feeling I was going to ask her to be in mine. I honestly never thought of asking her. I always knew who I wanted to be in my wedding party and my wedding party is pretty much my family (2 best friend whom I've know my whole life, my 2 cousins, and FH's sister). I kinda put it out there to her that I didn't want a huge BP and I wanted to keep it 'just family' because honestly if I didn't, my BP would be HUGE (one of those 'I can't ask her without asking her and without asking her' situations). She just agreed with me but something about her tone and face made me think she thought I was going to ask her.

Honestly, I you really don't have to explain to anyone why you chose the people you did and why you didn't chose others. It's your wedding, your BP, and it's your decision.

I'm of the opinion that the people who throw up a fuss about not being in the BP are the same people who would give you all sorts of problems were they actually in the BP.

In the end, people need to grow up because its your wedding and its your life and its about you, not them.

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I'm of the opinion that the people who throw up a fuss about not being in the BP are the same people who would give you all sorts of problems were they actually in the BP.

In the end, people need to grow up because its your wedding and its your life and its about you, not them.

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Exactly!! There is a reason you didn't choose her. I know it's your cousin & it's hard to deal with family members...but it's your wedding; you have to have the people you want surrounded by you in that close circle of bridal party participants that day!

you are under no obligation to invite people into your BP if you are not close with anymore or for any other reason.
The final decision is yours, and to even ask about why they were not included is tactless.

Thanks ladies. I am feeling much better about this today.

With my sister passing away my mom kind of thought that I should have had my Cousin shannon and her sister danielle as my MOH and MatronOH. I am super super close with Shannon. Besides sharing a name we hang out every weekend if not more and our friends have become hers and vise versa. I love her to death! My cousin danielle I was her BM. She is pregnant Live in MD and has a lot going on. I would have loved to have them but Shannon didnt even enjoy helping her sister at the wedding. I really wanted a MOH that was going to help. My best friend tara has been my rock threw everything with my sister. She literally is like a sister to me. She is family now (she is always invited to everyones wedding and even goes down and visits my fam in FLA when shes around) If it wasnt my sister standing next to me I couldn't imagine it not being tara. She is amazing!!!!

I did have to explain to MYSELF why I wasnt having my friend Shannon... (I know its confusing.. I'm shannon, my cousins Shannon and my friends Shannon). Anyway about my friend. We met at work 7 years ago and were best friends. Any time she has a bf she drifts away. The last 2 years she has been daying my FH best friend. I want her in th wedding because I know how close we WERE, CAN AND ARE GOING TO BE. Bu tw aren't right now. It actually upsets me that she isn't But I am 100% sure she knows why and understands. She still might not end up in it. I think a part of why she didnt though is b/c 1bm is FSIL. 2 are cousins who actuall went to school with my friend shannon and the other 4 are girls I have been best friends with since 2nd grade and they all kinda thought that well we are closer to you so why add... This wedding stuff gets so complicated!

I have a big family. My friends, who have had me in their weddings, unfortunately can't be in my bridal party because it is big enough already. I don't think you have to give anyone an explanation, it's your wedding and you have a right to include whomever you choose. But in my case I did talk to my friends about it, just to make myself feel better. I told the girls that I wanted to address it, and they were ok with what I had to say.