Extended family issues

Ok so I'm having a bit of a problem and I could use some advice from my fellow brides. It's a long story but I'll condense it as much as I can.

My father and I have a very rocky relationship. I called him last week to tell him I was engaged and he told me good luck with that. I told him I would be inviting him and his gf to the wedding and he didn't seem to care. Now I also don't really speak to that whole side of the family. I was a last minute invite to one of my cousin's weddings and I have another cousin that is engaged and I haven't received a save the date, which leads me to believe I'm not invited to the wedding, which I'm okay with. The wedding that I did go to was very awkward and I was getting weird stares from everyone in the family and I was being social and walking up to everyone to say hello and talk to them, but I basically got snubbed which was very uncomfortable. So this afternoon I get a friend request on facebook from one of the other cousins who previously deleted me. This led me to believe my dad mentioned something so now I'm thinking they want to be invited, which I wasn't planning on doing. A few months ago I tried re-adding people and my requests were ignored so basically I saw it as they didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I just wanted to know if anyone is in my same predicament or knows someone who didn't invite family to their weddings. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Posted by MrsK

I am not in your situation but I would say that you should only invite people that YOU and your FH want there. If you feel like they want nothing to do with you and made you feel uncomfortable when you tried with them at your cousins wedding then I say do not invite them. This is your wedding and you want to be surrounded by people you love and who you know love you back. You don't want them to come and make you feel weird or uncomfortable on your day.

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This!!!

I'm not in exactly the situation, but sort of a similar one with one member of my extended family.

My aunt's husband (not my uncle, she married this guy a few years ago) has an adult son who I used to work with and always considered a cousin, even though he really isn't one. About 3 years ago, when I needed a place to live, I almost moved in with the adult son and his girlfriend, but decided not to because they were financially irresponsible. The adult son still talked to me after that, but the girlfriend was furious and held a grudge and wouldn't talk to me. Now that I'm engaged, I hear that they've been asking mutual friends how my wedding planning is going, and if I've booked anything, etc. They recently (at the end of February) got engaged, and have started asking people for addresses. I've heard a few murmurs about them wanting my address, but since I hadn't planned to invite them, I was surprised to hear this.

Even though I, at one point, thought of him as my cousin, the way his fiance treated me the past 3 years was absurd, and the fact that he allowed it was even worse. So I don't plan to invite them to my wedding, and I have decided against going to theirs if they extend an invitation to me.

I don't want anyone at my wedding who will not be 100% happy for me and FH and supportive of our marriage. Sounds like your cousins aren't as interested in your life as they are in being invited to a wedding. I'd cross them off the list.