We had an engagement party for daughter and future son in law. His mom shared the expense with us. Her husband has a brother & sisterinlaw with 3 kids. The sisterinlaw came to the engagement party with the 3 kids and didn't give a gift!! Now the problem with wedding is that there are 3 other brothers, with wives &kids. My daughter wants to invite the uncles, aunts & the kids, except for this one couple. She feels the 5 of them will come to the wedding and not give a gift!! What do I do? We were going to tell the grooms mom and say 'they came with no gift. What if they do that for the wedding? Whos going to pay for that? and see what she says. If she offers to pay for them (it'll probably be around $500) then ok. Otherwise, can we invite this one couple without their kids, if all the others were invited with kids?I don't want to make waves with the inlaws but I don't want to be made a fool of and pay for these people to come to the wedding, eat, drink etc and not even give the bride & groom a gift? Help!!
Joan
mjsgirl106
Posted:
Member since
Re: Family members with children
I don't want to offend, but here's my opinion. When you invite people to a wedding, you are asking for their presence, to help celebrate the day, not pay their way. Yes, we all expect gifts, but we shouldn't. If you really don't want to make waves, don't say a word to your in-laws. Either invite everyone with their children, or everyone without their children. Is it a little bit tacky to show up at an engagement party or wedding without a gift? Yes, definitely. Is it tacky to NOT invite someone because you think they won't give a gift? Yes, definitely. Pretty much everyone out there has had at least one person show up empty handed. It may not be right, but it happens.
I hope you're able to work this out without too much drama. Best of luck!
PeterNina Mom
Posted:
Member since
Re: Family members with children
This is a hard one because I know how you feel. I absolutely hate when people do that because you feel disrespected, but to keep peace and not spoil the wedding I would just suck it up and invite them. You do not want to do anything that will spoil the day for your daughter....it is not worth ruining her wedding day because if word got out that you didn't invite all of them because of the gift then others may not go to the wedding as well. The right thing is to just invite them.
FutureMrs.T
Posted:
Member since
Re: Family members with children
JMO . . .when you invite someone to a wedding or a party it is kind of rude to EXPECT a gift. You are inviting them to share in the special day, a gift is just an added bonus. My FH and I are paying for our own wedding. We are not planning our wedding according to what we are receiving back in gifts, we are planning it according to what we can afford and anything we receive after that is great, but not a necessity. My philosophy is, dont throw a wedding you cant afford!
