We had alot of family members on dh's side come up to us and ask to take favors for people who didnt come to the wedding but gave a small gift(with the response card)
I always thought the favor was for attending the wedding and began to panic(his family has some strange obsession though with favors) because we only had enough for the guests who were there....
Im still stumped...
Thanks girls!
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
that's odd! I have never heard of that and didn't have anyone ask...nor would I ever ask! hmmm Im interested to hear th answer to this!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
that's odd! I have never heard of that and didn't have anyone ask...nor would I ever ask! hmmm Im interested to hear th answer to this!
me too We had four of dhs family members come up to us at the end when theywere getting their favors and say 'Well i get one for so and so right?'
hmmm
mlcvln129
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Umm. . .I don't think so. If you're not at the wedding, you don't get a favor. Now, if there were extra favors or people who decided not to take one/forgot to take one and you had some to spare, THEN they could have asked for one. That's really, really odd and presumptuous of them to just outwardly ask like that.
MLAngelo
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
yeah I think you only get one if you go. With my shower I had extra and gave them to friends who were invited but couldn't be there, but you don't have to. Favors are for those who came.
MrsCM
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
I find that to be both rude and presumptuous. It would be one thing if you offered but to ask and assume that you have extra for guests not in attendance is majorly taboo in my opinion!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
THANK YOU GIRLS i had to check before our honeymoon because I wanted to tell dh... He was annoyed as well but didnt want to start any problems...
But what bothered me was that they did the same at my shower...took like eight favors each and my poor mom was like 'Im sorry but I only made enough for those who came' and then, the ones I took for myself, they took :(
But you know what?? ThAT was my biggest problem the whole day so who cares!!! lolol...If that was all that went rotten..I think ill take it again!
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Craziness! Why would they ask to take a favor for someone who couldnt be there? Did they also ask to take a dinner or a piece of cake home for them too??
I understand it maybe they cancelled last minute because of an emergency (this actually happened to me and I had no problem with it) but just because you were invited you are not entitled to a favor if you do not show up!
Bottom line....
Favors are for thanking your guests for showing up and sharing in your special day. A thank you card with a gorgeous pic of you and your DH are for those who sent a gift and didnt show up. Thats all they get!
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Well, I'm going to be the different one and say this is SOMETIMES acceptable. My grandma has really bad arthritis and often she rsvps to an event and says she's going to try to be there (she's in a wheelchair and some days are better than others for her). If she has rsvped that she will attend and then doesn't feel well, she always sends the same gift that she would have given if she would be there. It makes her really happy to get the favor from the party so we always take one for her. I don't think that's so wrong - but I would see it being wrong if someone took a few favors for several people who couldnt attend and rsvped no.
Cacarina
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
OMG, I find that kind of rude that they actually came up to you at the end of your wedding asking for a favor for someone who is not even there. As if that is the most important thing on your mind at that moment. Sheesh, how ridiculous. No, I don't think you should have to give a favor to everyone who couldn't come. I mean if you have extras, you can give them one...but later...after you get home from your honeymoon or something.
Thats a really weird thing to ask someone. I've never heard of giving out favors at a wedding for people who can't attend. I have only ever seen this done at child's birthday parties or something not a a wedding sheeeshh
tazcaz913
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Sorry...I disagree. Both FH and I agree that if you send a gift, you get a favor. Look at this this way, you saved money on their meal, the least you could do is give them a rememberence of your day. It's not like they didn't come and not send a gift. They thought of you with a gift, you thank them with a favor. JMO!
We are actually ordering extra for just this reason.
MrsCM
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
Well, I'm going to be the different one and say this is SOMETIMES acceptable. My grandma has really bad arthritis and often she rsvps to an event and says she's going to try to be there (she's in a wheelchair and some days are better than others for her). If she has rsvped that she will attend and then doesn't feel well, she always sends the same gift that she would have given if she would be there. It makes her really happy to get the favor from the party so we always take one for her. I don't think that's so wrong - but I would see it being wrong if someone took a few favors for several people who couldnt attend and rsvped no.
I agree with you but I think it's different because they expected her so they have a favor for her. I think it's different.
Tracey1979
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Posted by tazcaz913
Sorry...I disagree. Both FH and I agree that if you send a gift, you get a favor. Look at this this way, you saved money on their meal, the least you could do is give them a rememberence of your day. It's not like they didn't come and not send a gift. They thought of you with a gift, you thank them with a favor. JMO!
We are actually ordering extra for just this reason.
So if you send a present, and don't go, you expect to have a favor sent to you? Or I would send it home with someone I know who knows you? Not being difficult, just totally surprised by this, so want to think about it for my own wedding.
BarbieGrl10
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Its weird... but my Mom makes me do that LOL! LIke if someone didnt come to my shower but gave me a gift. She would give them a favor and I would mail the thank you card....but she also bought the favors so really she could do whatever she wants with them. I dont think I can do it at the wedding though... But now that I'm thinking of it we did a donation to the ASPCA so I could put the card in the thank you card....hmmmm
tazcaz913
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Actually yes I would. I mean, usually the only ones who send a gift without coming are relatives. If they couldn't be there for whatever reason, but still took the time and effort to send a gift, I feel that I should acknowledge them in the same way as I did everyone else. I see no problem with people taking favors home for people who couldn't be there but sent a gift. If they asked for one, but no gift, then the answer is no. The few $$ for a favor to keep peace and make someone happy is worth it in the long run.
grkbarbie
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
well for guests to come and as the BRIDE or anyone for favors for OTHER people is rude. i know when my cuz got married they had a gazzilion favors just for that reason. everytime some1 came to their house, even if they didnt bring a gift or was invited to the wedding, a favor was given.
i wouldnt go that far..but its always goo to have extra favors around..u never know who is going to pop up with a gift.
DnJ0809
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Re: Favor question...please answer lol
Posted by tazcaz913
Sorry...I disagree. Both FH and I agree that if you send a gift, you get a favor. Look at this this way, you saved money on their meal, the least you could do is give them a rememberence of your day. It's not like they didn't come and not send a gift. They thought of you with a gift, you thank them with a favor. JMO!
We are actually ordering extra for just this reason.
ITA
And same for my shower favors. Those that couldn't come but still sent a gift got a favor mailed to them.
For those that have already given us wedding gifts when they sent back their response cards declining, I immediately sent a thank you note and something saying 'we'll be sure to send you a photo after our big day'. Our favors are going to be nice picture frames so after the wedding they will get a pic and a frame sent to them.
