Feeling bad for FH (guest list related)

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Posted by Kimbalina

I'm sorry that Fh is having some invite issues. I was at a wedding where the grooms mothers side about 2 tables worth of guest decide at the rehersal dinner, due to an argument they were not coming. It was sad for him, but he will tell you now, that even though he missed those people,. he had a great time-

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wow thats a horrible situation! I know when our wedding day arrives he won't even think about it and it will be a great day, its just hard getting those responses back with 'will not be able to attend' checked off. I hope he doesn't let it ruin his whole day. To be honest, he hasn't talked to a lot of these people in a while, but he figured that family is family and they will show. And all of his friends he's known for 30 years and thought that they would just come too. I just don't want him to take it so personaly. Its not like they're not coming because they don't like him. I hope he feels better soon

That stinks, my fh does not have many people coming either. He doesn't have much family, isn't close to most and a lot live out of state.

But my family has become his in the past 5 years and these are things we can't control so just try and enjoy

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Posted by Dee0522

There are a LOT of people on FH's side that aren't coming (and still a LOT that haven't RSVP'd... that's another vent) and I do feel bad, but mostly for his father. They are all his relatives and he is mad that they don't care enough to even send back a response. He said over the weekend that he doesn't even want to call any of them... he hopes they show up at the wedding so we can embarrass them by saying they can't stay, there are no seats for them!! UGH! When it comes down to it, I know they will make the calls but people just really s**k sometimes! FIL's have gone to all of their weddings... and they don't even have the decency to RSVP to ours.

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we still have time to get our rsvp's but i have a feeling that a lot of these people won't even bother to send it in. so frustrating! FH's dad is 80 years old and a few months ago he got really sick from a cancer treatment and the doctors said he only had a few days to live. Then they performed some procedure that was like a miracle and he is doing so much better and will be at our wedding! Fh feels bad for his dad cuz his family knows about all this and he figured that they would all love to see his dad, since his parents live in Georgia and don't get a chance to come up here a lot. I think its horrible that they're not making any effort to be there for fh or his dad.

FH grew up OOT so we're not expecting his extended extended family and all of his friends to attend. We do have 16 rooms booked in our OOT room block so far (mainly his family plus 2 friends) and we're hoping that a bunch will make the trip.

There is going to be a huge imbalance though! There's not really much you can do.

I am sorry! I hope FH starts feeling better about the situation. You are being supportive of him, and that is honestly all he needs!

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Posted by bluegreen08

FH grew up OOT so we're not expecting his extended extended family and all of his friends to attend. We do have 16 rooms booked in our OOT room block so far (mainly his family plus 2 friends) and we're hoping that a bunch will make the trip.

There is going to be a huge imbalance though! There's not really much you can do.

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i know, i just need to make sure that the rh staff has an equal amount of people sitting on both sides during the ceremony. I don't want to have a 'brides' side and 'grooms' side. I still can't help but feel bothered because most of these people live less than an hour away. Ugh! Oh well

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Posted by PinkRoses

I understand that it hurts. Tell him to cheer up, though... he'll have YOU there, and you're the only one who really COUNTS!!! Hang in there.

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FH called me a little while ago and said the same thing! Plus he will have a couple of great friends there that are really his true friends and that means a lot too. Thank you for your kind words!

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Posted by jeanyus27

fh just called me and told me that a friend of his was hanging out with a bunch of people that he invited to the wedding this past weekend. He ended up finding out that 4 couples are not coming to the wedding. All different reasons why like not being able to get off of work and one couple just had a baby. Plus a few weeks ago he found out that his dads whole side of the family is most likely not coming, again all different excuses, but his sister says its because they don't go to anything anymore. I feel terrible for him, he's only going to have about 15 people at the wedding from his side. He is so upset about it and keeps apologizing to me that these people are not coming. It kills me everytime he apologizes because its not his fault! At this point i think we are going to be under our minimum by about 15-20. We're starting to invite more people because originally we thought we would be way over our minimum and didn't invite certain friends. But now i feel bad that i didn't invite these people to begin with! I never thought that the guest list would stress me out so much! Thanks for letting me vent!

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I can totally relate. I posted about this a few days ago too. Fh's whole family is out of town and only a couple can come. And on top of that, some of the people he invited from work cant come for various reasons. Then, a few of my people from work told me they are not coming. I never thought we would have so many no's or have an issue meeting our minimum but now we definitely do. I feel for you, its a really stressful situation. Hope things work out.

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Posted by cmjd

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Posted by jeanyus27

fh just called me and told me that a friend of his was hanging out with a bunch of people that he invited to the wedding this past weekend. He ended up finding out that 4 couples are not coming to the wedding. All different reasons why like not being able to get off of work and one couple just had a baby. Plus a few weeks ago he found out that his dads whole side of the family is most likely not coming, again all different excuses, but his sister says its because they don't go to anything anymore. I feel terrible for him, he's only going to have about 15 people at the wedding from his side. He is so upset about it and keeps apologizing to me that these people are not coming. It kills me everytime he apologizes because its not his fault! At this point i think we are going to be under our minimum by about 15-20. We're starting to invite more people because originally we thought we would be way over our minimum and didn't invite certain friends. But now i feel bad that i didn't invite these people to begin with! I never thought that the guest list would stress me out so much! Thanks for letting me vent!

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I can totally relate. I posted about this a few days ago too. Fh's whole family is out of town and only a couple can come. And on top of that, some of the people he invited from work cant come for various reasons. Then, a few of my people from work told me they are not coming. I never thought we would have so many no's or have an issue meeting our minimum but now we definitely do. I feel for you, its a really stressful situation. Hope things work out.

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i remember reading your post. We were stressing that we would have too many people and not being able to afford it. I never thought that we wouldn't make the minimum! Hope everything works out for you too, date twin!

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Posted by jeanyus27

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Posted by cmjd

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Posted by jeanyus27

fh just called me and told me that a friend of his was hanging out with a bunch of people that he invited to the wedding this past weekend. He ended up finding out that 4 couples are not coming to the wedding. All different reasons why like not being able to get off of work and one couple just had a baby. Plus a few weeks ago he found out that his dads whole side of the family is most likely not coming, again all different excuses, but his sister says its because they don't go to anything anymore. I feel terrible for him, he's only going to have about 15 people at the wedding from his side. He is so upset about it and keeps apologizing to me that these people are not coming. It kills me everytime he apologizes because its not his fault! At this point i think we are going to be under our minimum by about 15-20. We're starting to invite more people because originally we thought we would be way over our minimum and didn't invite certain friends. But now i feel bad that i didn't invite these people to begin with! I never thought that the guest list would stress me out so much! Thanks for letting me vent!

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I can totally relate. I posted about this a few days ago too. Fh's whole family is out of town and only a couple can come. And on top of that, some of the people he invited from work cant come for various reasons. Then, a few of my people from work told me they are not coming. I never thought we would have so many no's or have an issue meeting our minimum but now we definitely do. I feel for you, its a really stressful situation. Hope things work out.

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i remember reading your post. We were stressing that we would have too many people and not being able to afford it. I never thought that we wouldn't make the minimum! Hope everything works out for you too, date twin!

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thanks!!

Your poor FH. He must be really upset. You're right, it's not his fault - and you never know - more people may end up coming.

I'm so sorry.