Feminist?

cluelessbride Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:30 PM

Feminist?

I just got off the phone with my younger sister (she's 22) and somehow the topic of feminism came up, and she said 'I hate feminists; I would never call myself one.' I was so depressed!

I agree with my sister that somehow feminism has gotten a bad name, but I'm sad about that because I think it really is for so many good things.

To me, feminist means pro-woman, not anti-man. It means changing society for the better through fair maternity leave, good health care for all, for giving woman the courage and confidence to get out of violent relationships, to fight for equal pay for equal work, giving women the right to choose the kind of lives they want to have.

I have no beef with men. I like it when a door is held open for me, but don't dare pat me on the head at work.

How do you ladies feel?

prncssrachel Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:32 PM

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I would have to say that I'm with you completely on this one.

mlp924 Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:32 PM

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I agree with you! I love a chivalrous (sp) man but not a condescending one. Anything he can do I can do better!

August2003 Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:39 PM

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agree with you 100%

Lisa Rose Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:48 PM

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IM a Feminist and PROUD of it!!!

I feel that I should get equal pay as my male counterparts and that girls should be told that they can do ANYTHING that they want to.

I will fight for womans rights as long as there is a cause that needs to be supported.

I am Pro-Choice, Republican, professional, married woman! I love it when my husband holds the door for me but I dont think that makes me less of a person because of it.

I teach my Bronwies that no matte what they want to do, they should do it!

Enought of my rambleing....I just thank Margaret Sanger, Susan B. Anthony and Gloria Steinem for being the strong woman that they were (are) so that we now can have they things that we want and be want we want to!!

cluelessbride Posted: Jun 30, 2003 09:58 PM

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Go Lisa Rose!!

Lisa Rose Posted: Jun 30, 2003 10:00 PM

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Claud2001 Posted: Jun 30, 2003 10:03 PM

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It is unfortunate that many (not all) feminist women DO act as if their feminist views are anti-man. So, in that sense, I can understand your sister's comments.

mishandgerard Posted: Jun 30, 2003 11:29 PM

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i also agree with you. For instance wether its a woman or man who says 'oh, women can't do that!' I am the first to want to suceed in it!

alina Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:09 AM

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I am not a feminist, and I believe that feminists may have made things more difficult than they should have been. I believe that there is a difference between a man and a woman, and we should not be expected to do the same exact work at all times of our lives. And while I enjoy working, I don't know how I'll bear being away from a child on FT basis without totally throwing my career out of the door. And as much as men try to be helpful at home, it is not the same, so in the end women end up picking up the slack...

Sorry if this sounds bitter, but I think the idea that men and women are equal is in some respect against any kind of evolutionary biology.

Lisa Rose Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:20 AM

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So you are saying that if you and a man had the same job...say an office job....that you would accept making less than him? Why...because he has a family?? What about your self worth?

Our foremothers fought for our right to vote, own land, serve in the military, able to speak our own voice without consecuence, go to college, and own our own bodies. There are some feminsts that are man-bashers, and yes those are the extremes....but without womans rights, we might all be barefoot and pregant in the kitchen, with our husbands telling us to shut up and get dinner on the table!!!

As you can see, this is a cause that I have very strong feelings for.

We've come along way baby!!!

Sassyz75 Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:21 AM

Re: Feminist?

alina- I think the point of the feminist movement was not to take you away from your child, but to give you the option to work should you want it... When our grandmothers were our age and younger, getting married and raising a family was pretty much their only option. The point of the feminist movement was to give women the choice.. you can raise a family, you can work, you can do both- you could do nothing.. but society was not going pre-determine that role for you.

What you are referring to is a backlash against the feminist movement- that the feminists actually some how 'ruined' it for you by 'forcing' you to work- that is just not true. I think the hardship with being a stay-at-home-mom has more to do with the economy and our lifestyle than feminist ideology.

Again- back to my Grandma- she didn't work, she raised 4 kids- but my Grandfather worked 1 full-time job and 2 part time jobs so the kids had food on the table and clothes on their backs... how many of our husbands do that now? Not many... so maybe that changed too.

eroxgirl Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:24 AM

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Personally, I disagree with the statement that when men try to be helpful at home, its not the same and women have to pick up the slack. The only reason that is so is because men were TAUGHT to be that way. I don't believe that men or women are inherently anything. I always say jokingly that I'm a 'bad' woman because I don't cook and hate cleaning, and am basically a lousy hostess, compared with many of my girlfriends who were TAUGHT that it is their job to do those things. Of course, that's me buying into the same sexist stereotype by even labeling myself a 'bad woman.' Not that I'm a 'staunch feminist' either, but I don't believe men and women's capabilities are that different, at least not as far as brainpower is concerned.

cluelessbride Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:30 AM

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I think most feminists would agree that men and women are different in the same way that cultures are different, but we all deserve equal treatment under the law.

I think if our society (men and women) valued childrearing more, we would have better maternity leave policies. Feminists are FOR mothers, FOR women having choices.

Valenia Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:36 AM

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Being 'anti-man' is not being a feminist. Feminism by definition is about equality. Misuse of the word has caused the confusion, and I'm sad to people shying away from it to avoid associations with more radical movements.

I am proud to call myself a feminist, and am unimpressed by men who are unwilling to call themselves feminists too.

cluelessbride Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:40 AM

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Valenia I am so with you!

alina Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:45 AM

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Lisa Rose: I am not saying that I would accept making less than him on per hour basis... However, when I have kids I would love to have an option to work only 30 hrs per week, vs. say 40-50 that I work now. I would be making less than the FT salary, but only b/c I work less. My sense of self worth is not only valued by $ but also what I contribute to my family, and in this case it would be the time and attention that I spend with children.

Sassy, I agree with you to some degree, that perhaps its a backlash and I am sure that 'original' feminists had much better intensions. But nevertheless the current expectatation on a modern day woman is to have a career, family and stay in shape somewhere in between those two.

Eroxgirl: I disagree about the teaching part. Both FH and I were taught our 'duties', and yet I hate to cook, even though looking FH enjoying the food is one of the best feelings I have when I do cook something. I think men and women have different predispositions toward certain things, and that is not something that you're raised with or taught. I don't think brainpower is the difference b/c sexes though...

Jordan Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:57 AM

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I am a PROUD feminist...PROCHOICE - & I vote.

Lisa Rose - you ROCK! I agree with you 100%.

What-Now Posted: Jul 01, 2003 10:24 AM

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I feel that thinking that anything a man can do a woman can do better is naive! Just like obviously there are so many things that women can do that no man can ever do better! Man and woman are different! We have different streinghts and different weeknesses. There are some prefessions that men are much better at then women and vice versa!

I think that the word feminism got a bad reputations exactly because instead of trying to embrace the difference between sexes we are trying to to be'just like men''!

We should be equal, but we are not the same!
That's my 2 cents!

Jordan Posted: Jul 01, 2003 10:33 AM

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The true tennets of Feminism doesn't want women to BE men...they wanted to be treated as Equals.

Where no laws could prohibit anyone from doing anything based on gender, skin color, religion, sexual preferences. I don't want to be a man, I want the same Equal rights as men. Just like homosexuals want the rights that hetero's have and just like African Americans wanted (want?) the same rights as whites. Homosexuals don't want to BE hetero...nor do blacks want to be white.

There's a fine line of distinction...that often gets overlooked. Probably because women are just silly little creatures. :rolleyes: