FH Aggravation

Never did I think i'd be ranting about FH on here, but our wedding is less than 3 months away and i'm really starting to feel the pressure and I feel like he isn't helping at all.

I work a busy full-time job that pretty much has me on-call 24/7. The past few weeks i've had some extremely tight deadlines and just a generally packed work schedule, so i've slacked a bit on my to-do list. I just realized recently that i mis-calculated when i should have my invites out... this whole time i was thinking mid-July would be fine but that's only 2 months ahead of time...so now i'm scrambling to get my guest list finalized and get them to the calligrapher so i can get the damn things out.

I asked FH about a week ago to go through his part of the list and tell me what changes needed to be made and get the missing addresses. I sent him my excel spreadsheet then, and he only looked at it yesterday for the first time. Tonight, I asked for the millionth time if we could go over his part of the list and he just starts freaking out and getting defensive and generally being a huge 'four letter word i can't say on liweddings.' It ended up blowing up into a huge fight. He started turning it around on me and saying 'what's you're problem? I'm acting like this because you're being a b**** about it...' Really? I'm a b***** beacuse we need to get something done for OUR wedding and you won't help with something I can't even do for you?

He hasn't helped with the wedding at all, which is fine with me because i'm a bit of a control freak, but out of the BAJILLION things that need to be done, if i ask you to do ONE FREAKING THING and you ***** about doing that and try to make it out like i'm irresponsible and should have asked him weeks ago, thats nuts. Yes...I messed up a bit and now we're rushing to get everything, but instead of being a royal a$$hole, how about you just say 'sorry babe i'm doing my best but I still have a few addresses to get still' and do your best to get them!????

You know when someone makes you feel like you're legit going crazy? That's how I feel right now...really trying hard to breathe and let this go. Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight and it ain't me...

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Posted by EAY213

Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight and it ain't me...

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MEN!! They just drive you freakin' insane sometimes! They just don't get it...

I'm sorry you're stressed. If it makes you feel better, my calligrapher said 8 weeks out is perfectly acceptable to send invites, so try not to stress too much.

And remember, as my mother said to me this weekend, 'Even if he's one of the best out there, he's still a man...'

This sounded like me. I got very stressed and overwhelmed and I felt that I was practically begging him to help. It would turn into a huge fight.
Take a deep breath, this seems to be normal with men.

On the bright side, you will have your dream wedding and your FH isn't giving you an problems about your decisions.

So sorry you're feeling the stress. I know my FH is a procrastinator in general and he has not helped at all with the wedding stuff, not because he doesn't care, it's just not his thing. I'm going through the same thing with this invite list. I gave it to him months ago and I'm still waiting for the last four addresses. I wanna kill him! So don't feel bad, he's not the only one.

On a lighter note, I don't think two months out is that bad. Technically that's OK according to wedding etiquette. You should be OK. I know you're from Holbrook I think, right? Times like these I go to Lombardis Market for their frozen yogurt. I just tell myself it's yogurt so it's healthy and it's OK. :)

it's always the ONE thing you delegate that turns out to be a PITA!

For the invites, I am missing about 4 addys-- I decided to get the rest calligraphed and use clear stickers on those four. Oh well if those 4 people think we are less classy than the other 227 (or so)!!

PS I think you are using a different one but our calligrapher only took a week or so, i was budgeting 3 weeks. now just waiting on Vista Print..... (hotel directions cards)

Don't stress everything will workout!
My fh took forever to get the addresses for our save the dates..I think this is just how men are!

whitepages.com. After the 100th time of asking I did it myself lol.

I have to say the whole invitation thing is by far the worst part of this wedding planning yet! From the guest list to the addresses to the actually inviations. Today I finally picked who is going to do our invites now they have to be designed and printed and then addressed .I am stressing out big time with them. I see so many girls already have their's and they are getting married either after or right before me! :////

OMG! LOL FH is acting like a dummy now too! I dunno if it's because I'm so stressed or he is really lazy but I am SERIOUSLY starting to get annoyed. The other day his mom sent a new person to add to my list as 'Mr. So-and-So and his mom'. SO I told FH I need a name.. he says back 'they live internationally'.. OK!?! I still need a friggen name for the invite! What am I gonna put on place cards? 'Mr. so-and-so and your momma?!' UGH! Then the other day I needed his birth certificate. He writes back.. for what. OMG who cares?! Just get me what I need and shut up. LOL.

I've been working 7 days a week so the few hours I have to do wedding stuff, I try to just get things DONE. I totally feel ya girl! Starting to feel the pressure!

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Posted by Eunified

OMG! LOL FH is acting like a dummy now too! I dunno if it's because I'm so stressed or he is really lazy but I am SERIOUSLY starting to get annoyed. The other day his mom sent a new person to add to my list as 'Mr. So-and-So and his mom'. SO I told FH I need a name.. he says back 'they live internationally'.. OK!?! I still need a friggen name for the invite! What am I gonna put on place cards? 'Mr. so-and-so and your momma?!' UGH! Then the other day I needed his birth certificate. He writes back.. for what. OMG who cares?! Just get me what I need and shut up. LOL.

I've been working 7 days a week so the few hours I have to do wedding stuff, I try to just get things DONE. I totally feel ya girl! Starting to feel the pressure!

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OMG LMAO!

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Posted by Eunified

OMG! LOL FH is acting like a dummy now too! I dunno if it's because I'm so stressed or he is really lazy but I am SERIOUSLY starting to get annoyed. The other day his mom sent a new person to add to my list as 'Mr. So-and-So and his mom'. SO I told FH I need a name.. he says back 'they live internationally'.. OK!?! I still need a friggen name for the invite! What am I gonna put on place cards? 'Mr. so-and-so and your momma?!' UGH! Then the other day I needed his birth certificate. He writes back.. for what. OMG who cares?! Just get me what I need and shut up. LOL.

I've been working 7 days a week so the few hours I have to do wedding stuff, I try to just get things DONE. I totally feel ya girl! Starting to feel the pressure!

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Oh no! I am sorry your are so stressed but at least your not the only one with a FH that doesn't care. Hang in there!!

My FH does NOTHING for the wedding! The other day I finally forced him to sit down and help me decide on invitations. I told him 'you are not allowed to get out of this chair until I the email to the invitation place is sent'.

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Posted by katnwill

That also sounds so similar to what happened to me. After a while I said to him if anyone on his side don't get invites I don't care and they better not blame me because I tried my best. He also made it seem like I was asking for a lot. So I can definitely relate. Just take a deep breath and try to relax. This is such a stressful time and it's so annoying when you can't get the support/help you need.

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I said the same thing to FH about his mom. You can't tell me that someone is so important and has to be invited to the wedding when I need to beg you for the address!

LOL...reading all these responses made me feel a lot better...that's why I post on LIWeddings because I know i'm never going to be the only one going through something.

Update: he apologized and explained he's stressing about everything too...the house, the wedding, etc. He texted me this morning and told me he got 3 addresses lol. I guess he felt bad about how much of a jerk he was!

Moral of all these stories: Don't rely on men for any wedding stuff...just do it yourself or it won't get done right (or at all)! ;-P