FH and i had a huge fight. am i over -reacting? really long...
we have a close group of friends that have all been together since highschool. most of us are settled down, marrying or in serious relationships... except our one friend 'Bob'. Bob is 28 yrs old and just decided to leave his job to go back to graduate school in Texas. He is home for the summer he recently called us to invite himself and a date out on my FH boat (which is more like his dad's) and then sent out a huge email to all of our friends inviting them to fireworks on the beach friday night. the problem is the beach he wants to go to can only be reached by boat and my FH is the only one with a boat. we never made plans with this Bob nor had any intentions of being a water taxi on friday. so i sent Bob a somewhat sarcastic but friendly email expalining that we had never made plans with him to go out, nor could we possibly have extended an invitation to 12 people when the boat can only hold maybe 6 people safely. i copied the email and sent it to our friends.
The reason we had a fight was that Bob called my FH to tell him about the b*tchy email i sent him and how could i possibly have declined taking Bob and his date of the week out for the fourth. Now my FH agreed with me in the first place that Bob had been rude to invite himself and his date to begin with and was equally aggrivated that he had extended the invite to everyone without even asking. I read him the email before i sent it last night, but when Bob called my FH pretended not to know about my email! He told me that he explained to Bob that we had some busy stuff to do friday and the reason we couldn't take him on the boat was that we didnt want to inconvience Bob and his date if our plans didn't fit with what Bob had in mind. I wrote the email in defense of my FH and myself because I am tired of Bobs impositions. sending out this invite to 12 people just pushed me over the top.
i was really angry and hurt by my FH because instead of backing me up and telling this guy, 'yeah my fiance is right. you shouldnt have invited yourself and everyone else and she is not a b*tch' he played dumb and then pretended to be concerned with Bob's matter of inconvience with the boating plans. I just feel that first of all, I was sticking up for him as well as myself by telling our friend he had overstepped some issues and put my FH in an akward position by inviting himself out. I think my FH should have backed up what I said and stood up for himself as well. Now its like I am some uptight b*tch and tried to speak for my FH as if he was as aggrivated as I was ( whcih he was, but since he didnot tell this to Bob, it seems like my FH never was never bothered) I told my FH that if we are getting married we are partners and should stand by eachother and have one another's back, He sure didn't have my back today, even though the whole thing was because i was standing up for him!
Am i overreacting? we had a huge yelling match over the fact that he lied to Bob about how he was feeling and the fact that he aloud Bob to call me a b*itch and make it seem like i was a ranting luatic over something he was never even upset over. We hung up on eachother , we were really going at it.![]()
this is the first big fight we have had in 5 years. i am basically just hurt because i thought he should back me up as my future husband! isn't that part of a marriage? to be supportive and defend your partner... especially when you agreed with her in the first place! he has done this recently with my FSIL when she had been really nasty and rude to me. He noticed she was doing it and agreed with me later that she was rude but he wont say anything to her about it. It hurts me to think maybe he doenst care enough about me to stand up for me.
should i call and apologize? i told him i did want to talk to him today. i feel sick.![]()
maybe i am making a mountain out of a mole hill, i started on the pill and its making my moods crazy....
if you made it through reading this mess, thank you and please give me an objective opinion...
The reason we had a fight was that Bob called my FH to tell him about the b*tchy email i sent him and how could i possibly have declined taking Bob and his date of the week out for the fourth. Now my FH agreed with me in the first place that Bob had been rude to invite himself and his date to begin with and was equally aggrivated that he had extended the invite to everyone without even asking. I read him the email before i sent it last night, but when Bob called my FH pretended not to know about my email! He told me that he explained to Bob that we had some busy stuff to do friday and the reason we couldn't take him on the boat was that we didnt want to inconvience Bob and his date if our plans didn't fit with what Bob had in mind. I wrote the email in defense of my FH and myself because I am tired of Bobs impositions. sending out this invite to 12 people just pushed me over the top.
i was really angry and hurt by my FH because instead of backing me up and telling this guy, 'yeah my fiance is right. you shouldnt have invited yourself and everyone else and she is not a b*tch' he played dumb and then pretended to be concerned with Bob's matter of inconvience with the boating plans. I just feel that first of all, I was sticking up for him as well as myself by telling our friend he had overstepped some issues and put my FH in an akward position by inviting himself out. I think my FH should have backed up what I said and stood up for himself as well. Now its like I am some uptight b*tch and tried to speak for my FH as if he was as aggrivated as I was ( whcih he was, but since he didnot tell this to Bob, it seems like my FH never was never bothered) I told my FH that if we are getting married we are partners and should stand by eachother and have one another's back, He sure didn't have my back today, even though the whole thing was because i was standing up for him!
Am i overreacting? we had a huge yelling match over the fact that he lied to Bob about how he was feeling and the fact that he aloud Bob to call me a b*itch and make it seem like i was a ranting luatic over something he was never even upset over. We hung up on eachother , we were really going at it.
should i call and apologize? i told him i did want to talk to him today. i feel sick.
maybe i am making a mountain out of a mole hill, i started on the pill and its making my moods crazy....
if you made it through reading this mess, thank you and please give me an objective opinion...
