FH doesnt get it......help

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:17 PM

FH doesnt get it......help

FH has asked me this question at least 10 times and I am starting to lose my patience.

He wants to put our registry cards in with our wedding invitations!

Ok background info...he is from the west coast and they all give gifts out there! 70% of our guest list is OOT (between me and him) but I dont care...I dont think we should put the registry card in there. He has asked me about this 10+ times and he is really making me crazy about it! Together we asked my mom, his mom, the lady at BB&B, one of his groomsmen, etc and they all said NOT TO DO IT! Why cant he get it?

So he is like 'Well what are we going to do, have to answer 50+ calls when people want to know where we are registered'. (PS - a few people who know they cant make it have already asked where we are registered.) Anyway I think most family members can just ask his mom or my mom. OR should I just give in and put the registry cards in with his guest list? I really dont think I am giving in because it is just too tacky and is like you are asking for gifts...plus I'd rather have the cash!

Ok sorry had to vent there because I just dont get why he is SO insistent on this!

Espo22 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:20 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

I personally wouldn't put it in either. Does he know that the registry cards do go in the bridal shower invites so some of your guests will know where you are registered before the wedding.

shcole08 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:20 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

ditto.

mRm2008 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:21 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Wow that is a tough one. Do you have a wedding website? If so you can list your registries there and if guests want to track it down on their own to give you a gift and not cash, its up to them.

IMO I would not include them in the invites.

Espo22 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:21 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Posted by mRm2008

Wow that is a tough one. Do you have a wedding website? If so you can list your registries there and if guests want to track it down on their own to give you a gift and not cash, its up to them.

IMO I would not include them in the invites.

very smart and good option

cmjd Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:22 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

I wouldnt do that either! No way. I havent had one person call and ask where we are registered- people usually give money for weddings i thought. (at least ones in New York)

Kerin2804 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:22 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Vent away - that is part of why we are all here I am not familiar with the West Coast wedding traditions but I agree with you - Do not put registry cards in the invitations. If people call, then so be it. You'll get to talk to a friend or family member then.

Mici n KC Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:22 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Don't do it. If and when people call then tell them.

deb08 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:22 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Maybe include a wedding web site address in the invite to the OOT showing them more wedding information and would show them to your gift registry is.. Hope it helped

Belongs2DanBuckley Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:23 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

yea i think the wedding website is the way to go...otherwise its going to end up coming off as tacky- JMO!!

Annoulak Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:23 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

If you have a wedding website, you can post the info on the website.

Also, you can have a reltive of his spread the word either by telling others, or maybe even just create a postcard with the registry info and send it to his relatives...if it's DIY it can be fairly inexpensive

bluekat16 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:25 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

I wouldn't put it in the invote and just post it on the wedding website.

Lil83108 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:25 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

I wouldn't put them in...did you explain to him that you will be having a bridal shower and that is where you receive gifts from your registry? If I were you I would just stress it a little more on how money would be better to receive at your wedding and IF people want to give a gift they will know where you are registered from by the time your bridal shower comes.

Espo22 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:28 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

i do have to say that NY is one of the few places where we give money at weddings as a gift. MANY other states and many in the west they bring a gift to the wedding. So probably why he is so confused bc he is used to those customs. I know for us we think the gifts are for the shower but you might get gifts on your wedding day from his family, unless they hear here in ny we give cash and they'll decide to follow that but some are set in their ways and will still want to give a gift.

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:31 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Thanks for the backing! I am definitely not doing it!

Not sure about the wedding website but it is a good idea. (Our invitations are already printed.) He will just have to deal with people calling him (which I bet not many will...hopefully they get the point!)

PS - ONE OF HIS FRIENDS IN UTAH PRINTED UP A REGISTRY CARD THAT READ AS FOLLOWS:

Registered at:
Bed Bath and Beyond
Macy's
Well Fargo

Can we say TACKY!!!!

Medinatobe Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:35 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Posted by Jenn04

Thanks for the backing! I am definitely not doing it!

Not sure about the wedding website but it is a good idea. (Our invitations are already printed.) He will just have to deal with people calling him (which I bet not many will...hopefully they get the point!)

PS - ONE OF HIS FRIENDS IN UTAH PRINTED UP A REGISTRY CARD THAT READ AS FOLLOWS:

Registered at:
Bed Bath and Beyond
Macy's
Well Fargo

Can we say TACKY!!!!

Good decision! I wouldn't do it either, I think most people know that the registry cards come with the bridal shower invite and at the wedding money is always preferred.

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:35 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Posted by Espo22

i do have to say that NY is one of the few places where we give money at weddings as a gift. MANY other states and many in the west they bring a gift to the wedding. So probably why he is so confused bc he is used to those customs. I know for us we think the gifts are for the shower but you might get gifts on your wedding day from his family, unless they hear here in ny we give cash and they'll decide to follow that but some are set in their ways and will still want to give a gift.

Yes it is definitely a northeast thing to give cash. No one else gets it. I tried telling my g-ma (michigan) about it and how you have to 'cover your plate' cost....and she did not understand!!!!! She was like well what if you dont have $200-300 to give, you cannot give what you cannot afford. I am like well then you dont go! She was so baffled. PS - she is a pretty 'with-it' G-ma but she just did not get it. I also dont think she knows that weddings here can cost an astronomical price!

Jenn04 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:37 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

ONE MORE NOTE! If people are traveling on a plane to come to our wedding....they are not going to be carrying a HUGE box/gift with them!

Adriana618 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:38 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

FH is from the west coast too... and after living there myself for three years... LEMME TELL YA...its like whole other world when it comes to weddings (can you say...wine in a box? lol)

FH and I posted all the detailed stuff on our website... if FH had his way we wouldnt even be registered anywhere ... he wants the money! lol

Espo22 Posted: Apr 07, 2008 02:41 PM

Re: FH doesnt get it......help

Posted by Jenn04

ONE MORE NOTE! If people are traveling on a plane to come to our wedding....they are not going to be carrying a HUGE box/gift with them!

VERY good point...although they'll probably just send it to your house