FH & Family

Hi girls
Has anyone been having problems where both parents are splitting most of the costs and FH wanted your parents to pay for everything? FH is constantly bringing it up meanwhile our parents discussed everything - he thinks it's my parents responsibility to pay for EVERYTHING and get him nice things. I'm like it's not like that anymore. even then my parents are paying a lot more. FH is so materialistic as compared to what he was before we got engaged and I'm totally disgusted by all of it. We're ALWAYS fighting and all this just makes me doubt my decision. Any input would be great - sorry if this is too personal for some ofyou.

Also - he's constantly saying things about my parents behind their back - like soo nitpicky - like my mom didn't call him to tell him when the bridal shower is - i'm like it's my bridal shower!!!

Wow, that is really crazy. I would try to have a long talk with him to try to explain how you feel and the reality of the situation. Try to talk about it calm and rationally and instead of responding to when he gets angry by getting angry and having it escalate into another fight, try to keep being calm and telling him that you want to talk about it, not fight about it, etc. and see where that goes. And try to explain to him that it's just a wedding and that he shouldn't be so $$ oriented because that's not what your relationship is all about, etc. etc. Hopefully things will get better.

FH's family is contributing $0 because they don't have the money. He's actually pretty upset about that because he's disappointed in them for not being able to help my parents out. I'm a little annoyed too, because I don't think it's fair that my parents have to spend all of that money, and I suspect that when things get closer to the date it will cause some drama (guest list, gifts, invitation wordings, the date itself, etc.). But I'll deal with that when we get there.

I seriously would sit down and tell him how you feel. My FMIL and my mother sat down and explained what they would both be able to do financially for the wedding. My mother is a single mom, his mother is still married so it is a little easier for his family to help out. My mom is paying for the little things like the favors, my dress and some other little things. But she cannot do the reception ,and that is where his family is helping out.

I don't understand how someone could be upset that someone cant afford or put into the wedding. If they don't have the money, then how can you be upset at them? I am sure if they try and help out in some other way, that should be fine. He sounds like he just doesn't understand. Maybe you should talk to him and help him understand that it's really not about the money, it's about being with each and celebrating your love to each other. I dunno, I think you guys really need to talk about what is most important to you for this wedding and for your future together.

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Posted by CSimiMOB

Wait a minute!!!! The bridal shower???? It says that you are getting married in 2014.

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This isn't my real date - for anonymity purposes - I'm getting married in 2008.