FH & FIL's procrastination

I don't know how everyone elses FH is but mine is not really involved in the wedding planning process. I am totally fine with it, or have been so far....now it's come to a point where I need him to do a few things that i can't do and i need his family to do a few things....and it's like pulling teeth! I want to order invitations soon...but i don't have a final count from them...FH hasn't even fully asked his bridal party or the ushers he wants so i can't move forward on programs....we are getting married in a Greek church cause FH is greek so i need the proper things from him and his family cause i am not a member of his church...and now i just wait...and i ask...and they tell me to relax and that drives me nuts! Do they know what goes/went into planning????

Sorry for the long rant...i'm done!

Tell them calmly that you have asked numerous times for X, Y, and Z. You don't want to sound like a nag but you have a deadline date of (pick a date) that you need XYZ done, so you need the information by (pick another date). If they do not give you the information by then it will be too late to, marry in the Greek Church, include his friends on the programs, order invitations, etc.

I went through the same thing. I had to HOUND FFIL for his guest list. Over and over and over again. Finally I said to him, I am ordering the invites in2 days, if I don't get your list by tomorrow, then there will not be any extra invitations for your list, so please send it now. I got an emailed list that night.

They think you still have time, but if you tell them the deadline date (even if you make it up) they're seeing a finite date that they must adhere to. After that, they're SOL.

Sorry to hear that...my FH is the same way.
For the church part, you'll need to both show baptismal certificates and pay the membership fee, and your koumbaro/koumbara will also need to show proof of being members of a greek-orthodox church. That's the bare-bones basics of what's needed for the church, but each church is a bit different. Hope this helps!

Yes Yes Yes.........i totally agree my fh has done practically nothing with me...the wedding is in 3 weeks and i finally told him if he doesnt pick a song to dance to with his mom i am picking it...He didnt even want to do that ....We just bought a house so i know he is over worked and stressed but i think if i ask him for a simple song choice he should be willing to atleast help me up.. i know how you feel

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Posted by Annoulak

Sorry to hear that...my FH is the same way.
For the church part, you'll need to both show baptismal certificates and pay the membership fee, and your koumbaro/koumbara will also need to show proof of being members of a greek-orthodox church. That's the bare-bones basics of what's needed for the church, but each church is a bit different. Hope this helps!

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Do you know if we need a unity candle for the ceremony?

I have to have the final invite list to my person by the end of the month and I still do not have my fh's families addresses.

He tells me he will take care of it and not to worry but I like to have things done well ahead of time and this is giving me anxiety. He promised I would have them all by next week. We will see.

You are not alone, I think this happens very often

boys boys boys!

You need to sit down and really tell him calmly that he needs to start helping out if he wants to have this wedding the way you both want it. You should explain to him you're beginning to feel stressed out and really need help!

I hope things get easier!!!

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Posted by zoe282

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Posted by Annoulak

Sorry to hear that...my FH is the same way.
For the church part, you'll need to both show baptismal certificates and pay the membership fee, and your koumbaro/koumbara will also need to show proof of being members of a greek-orthodox church. That's the bare-bones basics of what's needed for the church, but each church is a bit different. Hope this helps!

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Do you know if we need a unity candle for the ceremony?

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No unity candle, but your koumbaro or koumbara will need to buy stefana (crowns) for you, as well as the lambades (tall candles)...FM for more info on where to go for those if you need to.

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Posted by jteach711

I have to have the final invite list to my person by the end of the month and I still do not have my fh's families addresses.

He tells me he will take care of it and not to worry but I like to have things done well ahead of time and this is giving me anxiety. He promised I would have them all by next week. We will see.

You are not alone, I think this happens very often

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I like to have things done early too...in my book there will be tons of little things to do at the time of the wedding so why not do what i can now? There will be enough stress later....

Sorry to hear that you are having these issues with your FIL's

I gave my FMIL a choice with her guest list. She was going to Italy and asked her to have it done before leaving (approx. 3 weeks after our engagement). I told her if I didn't have it before she left my FH would do his best to make the list with what famiily and friends of theirs he could think of.

She gave me a list but it was totally not helpful. She gave me people's nicknames and refered to some women in her family by their maiden names and couldn't tell me their husband's first or last name. She is totally useless

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Posted by mRm2008

Sorry to hear that you are having these issues with your FIL's

I gave my FMIL a choice with her guest list. She was going to Italy and asked her to have it done before leaving (approx. 3 weeks after our engagement). I told her if I didn't have it before she left my FH would do his best to make the list with what famiily and friends of theirs he could think of.

She gave me a list but it was totally not helpful. She gave me people's nicknames and refered to some women in her family by their maiden names and couldn't tell me their husband's first or last name. She is totally useless

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hahahah i got that too for our engagment party! none of the men's names, some with no zip codes and now we have a numbers issue so i want to give them the opportunity to cut their list which is why i am revisiting the list i already have...hopefully i hear back soon!

I am totally with ya here. Same thing with my FMIL and FH. They give me handwritten lists that doesn't include everyone's information.