FH getting weird about the wedding -

(not cold feet weird - more like too much wedding BS weird)

I post here all the time, but my FH has been known to peek, so I have to go under cover but I wanted some non family / friend opinions.

FH and I have been fighting about me making to big of a deal out of the wedding - he kind of feels like he is just along for the ride. I am constantly doing or talking about wedding stuff - I started dieting, and looking forward to the date etc. .
I guess he feels kind of pushed to the side, but when you are planning something like this, it does take alot of time. Now I find I'm starting to feel guilty about all the time I'm spending working out or in the bridal section of Barnes & Nobel. Is this weird?

This definitely happens. I almost have no time for FH now with LIW, work, wedding, working out....There just isn't as much time for down time anymore. And things are changing--they see us in frantic, anal mode...Which may be quite a change from the person he fell in love with. I think I have scared my FH many times screaming at vendors. It gets better--we are almost all done with the planning, and can now enjoy our time until the wedding watching the RSVPs come in!

Aww I am sorry to hear this.

What can say to you but ease off including him in the planning. The reason whY i say this is because my friend in the military went through this with her FI in Korea. She had the ring, she knew the perfect place..etc. One day he just called it off. He felt that she was making too much of a deal over the wedding and excluding him...thus their relationship suffered.

She was really hurt . So with that I say this can be avoided by doing stuff with GF and family members...ask them for opinions..We are always here..if he does not want to be included..dont. My Dh didnt care about the details..he just wanted me..so perhaps thats how your FI is feeling. Alot of men dont want the details..they dont care about it like we do...

Oh my gosh! Thats awful myasmom (loved the Thank yous by the way)

I don't think its that I'm including him too much - but he may actually just need more attention or something - and that is weird to me. He feels like the wedding is about me and him - not what color the flowers are... but I think all girls cant wait do do this stuff.

I'm really independent and I'm having trouble with someone getting angry/ pouty if I'm busy. I sometimes just don't get it.

I have a suggestion. Why dont you go on dates. Thats my solution and was through my planning and even now. Set aside time for just you two. This way it buys you some time in between the planning and he doesnt feel left out. They can be such babies sometimes lol. But we chose them so FOR BETTER OR WORSE!

Troy was like this in the beginning..thats how I found out he didnt care..not in a bad way..He said that he would be there in his boxers and could care less what color the flowers were or if we got married at city hall..we got this sorted out early. So maybe he kept quiet too long and is blowing up now..he should have come to you before it turned into an argument. So sorry hon.

Oh my gosh you are so cute - thanks for the help myasmom -

Maybe I should try the date thing. We are going away this weekend maybe that will help - I guess the money is a strain too - we haven't really been going anywhere because we are saving like crazy. That is causing stress too - I guess everyone is going through this though

Just to play devil's advocate. - And PLEASE don't attack me !! - But maybe you ARE a teeny bit obsessed ! If you don't have TIME for you FH 9 months before the wedding, or 9 days before the wedding b/c you're 'too busy' planning. - The problem is not the groom not being 'understanding' or oversensitive, the problem is that the bride has centered her entire life around the wedding.
Yes it's a HUGE deal, yes you want everything to be wonderful - BUT you don't want to alienate people along the way !! ESPECIALLY the man you're going to share the day (and the res of your life) with !! - I'm sorry but it does not take months to choose a color for the flowers, we should not be losing sleep over what tiara we're going to wear. -
you and your FH don't need a 'date' I think you really need to listen to what he's telling you and make a concious effort to relax and just be YOU - not the 'bride to be' - b/c as 'brides to be' we tend to scare the hell out of our FHs !!!!

BTW - i'm not telling you to give up your dieting and going to the gym and doing things for YOU

Marisa&Brian - why would I attack you? I didn't post it - but you figured it out that it probably will take me months to get to the flowers - don't even let me tell you how long it took me to find a photographer!

You are probably right that I'm taking it a bit seriously - But I have it my head that I don't want to look back on the day and wish I did this or that... or feel like I missed out on something - so I'm pouring over the details probably too much.

when FH gets like this with me i ask him if he wants his bottle

seriously, it's a balancing act. i went in spurts. at times i was really into all the planning, then i didn't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole. FH was interested at first and then it faded. he has commented though that he appreciates me not being a girly girl and obsessing over every minute detail. he laughs at his buddy who gets dragged to the mall every weekend by his wife to shop! FH knows he has it good relatively speaking...

Yes, it is a balancing act. But, you should never forget why you're getting married and what it all means. If you plan on having children in your marriage, that will take you away from your husband much more than party planning. Yet, you don't want that to ruin your marriage--and often it does. Use this time as practice in how to do things TOGETHER. If he doesn't care about the flowers, then just pick them and don't bother him with them. But, if there is something he cares about--like, what to get his groomsmen--let him get as carried away with that as he wants. Let him have all the power on it and be supportive. If planning a wedding tears you apart from each other, it would be such a shame. Just think of the irony

Good luck!

My FH gets like this sometimes. Usually if that happens, I get off the computer and go on later or the next day.

I'm going through the same thing. He said he's had it with the LIwedding board. If he only knew how much money you girls saved us, he would be more grateful

you have a few months till your wedding....once you have everything planned *which is what i am trying to do, so that i am stress free around the holidays, things will get better. If you have all your major stuff planned, give yourself a break. Maybe as a pre holiday gift, you can take your FH away for the weekend, and make him feel special. Just a thought. And Im sure you would benefit from it too!