FH is a pain!!

My FH just otld me today that his parents want him to invite like 20+ more people to the wedding than what we originally planned on inviting.

Originally we were keeping it to immediate family and close friends with the exception of my 2nd cousins because we ware very close and their mom my great aunt is like a grandma to me. Now we are inviting his dad's extended family and all of his step dads siblings (whom neither of us have met).

I wouldn't be so annoyed if he would have gotten all this info 3 months ago when I was making a tentitive list!!!! I'm also erked because he said we are going to have to go through my list and cut people... fine okay... but who? I have a large family!!

Sorry for venting but he got me really frustrated!

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Posted by FutureMrsLoRe

That's the thing, we are paying for the entire wedding with no help from either of our families. That was another issue I had with this.

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I would stand your gorund then!! Your IL can't dictate who is coming if they aren't helping financially! This is something that if you let slide now, more will come up that you will have to deal with. Cut the cord now!

Save yourself the agony of freaking out later on and nip this in the bud. Your FH needs to speak up and tell his family that you are absolutely not inviting all of these people!!!!!

This can spiral out of control faster then you think!

BE STRONG!!!

oh god, i'm getting hives already-- this sounds like my FIL's... but they are paying for their guests so i said FINE, invite half the world (it should be fun to say 'nice to meet you' to at least 100 people at MY wedding)... but then they started to tell me what favors to have, how to word my invites, etc etc etc when they are not paying for that stuff--- it's like NO WAY!!!

so i would explain to them that with the overwhelming cost of the wedding you and your FH cannot afford to add those people who are not immediate family or very close distant family... however, it's only 20 people-- if they are SO important they can def have them, if they decide to pay for them or AT LEAST part of them (a good portion at that!!)... so I would talk to FH and tell him this and have him speak to them either with you there or without you there-- but make it clear and mark your territory NOW or else they will NEVER end and you will end up like me having to listen to them comment left and right about how i'm not doing this the 'right' way b/c it's not THEIR way

ETA: good luck, i hope it works out!! LOL sorry for the vent but this really gets me going!!!

Tell them, if it's not a constraint due to venue size, that if they want all of these people to be invited, they are going to have to pay for them. You shouldn't have to cut your list. You also shouldn't be responsible for paying for people you two don't know.

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Posted by tomsgirl07

Definitely stand your ground! Have your FH explain to his parents that you've set a budget and since you're paying for the wedding yourselves, you just can't add another 20 people. Seriously, do they even think about how much that will cost betweeen the dinner, invitations, favors, CPs (cause you'll need more tables), etc? If they're not paying, then you can definitely fight back on that one. Good luck!

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good point, didn't think about how quickly it adds up!!! you should see how my cps WOULD HAVE looked if I had a normal 12-15 instead of 25-28!!

I would just try to nicely explain that you can't add anymore people. Tell her you'll look at the current list and see if there are people you can cut, but you just can't fit anymore people in. She may be more understanding than you expect.

I have a similar issue with my FMIL where she has a list of 35 people she wants to invite - outside of family. FH hasn't even met most of these people, and I'm already cutting out my cousins because with dates/husbands/wives we're talking 55+ guests from cousins alone (typical Irish family!!!). I'm going to have him tell her to list her people by who is most important to her, and we'll determine who we can fit based on of that. There has to be a line somewhere.