Fh's mother and I don't get along very well. (LONG STORY) . So, I started compiling the addresses for our guest list so that I can send out our STD's. Fh took his family list and gave it to his mom to fill in. It's been almost a month and nothing yet. He has asked her 3 times to no avail.
He said he will try to go another route but it will take so much longer and more headaches. Now, his mother really doesn't talk to him because he is with me.
It doesn't seem like he is going to get it?
Any suggestions!!
I know this is a tough one but any advice would be better then none.
But, I feel so bad for him because he wants his family to enjoy his day with him.
TIA
PegaLega
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Have him try and get as many addresses as possible without her....and just send them to those people. Have him tell her you need the list and if you dont get it then they wont be invited-leave it up to him
jaep129
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Have him get them. Tell him if you dont get them they dont come. FH has a half brother he has met maybe 5x. We have been together 8years and I never met him. I wasnt going out of my way to get the info on him. Its his 'family'. Once I told him that his 'Brother' wont be coming b/c I have no info on him to send him an invitation with in two days I had all I needed. (Well this worked for me and we also only needed one address) Good Luck!
JennNicole
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
WOW what a pain in the a **
Def tell him to try to round up the addresses on his own. Good Luck.
yswedding
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
I'm having the same issues and I actually got the impression that FH mom's actually likes me but is just ... absentminded, if you may...
I am planning to hand them a stack of invites and say here, you address them, you mail them, and if they don't send RSVP there wont be a chair and food for them.
fashiondiva
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Maybe she doesn't see the rush for the STD cards b/c the wedding is over a year away. I personally think its way early for STD cards but thats my opinion. I think that most people would loose them b/4 they could even fill in their 2009 calendar. On the other hand this could be a passive-aggressive act on her part to display her reluctance for the wedding. I wish you the best of luck.
Christine N Ralph
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
I would just have FH try to find out all of the info that he can...She might even get more annoyed with you if you go behind her back and try to get addresses from another one of his relatives
Reymiliz
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
If there are ppl that he will see face to face maybe he cna drop them off .... and then send the est out by mail
Jayla127
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Posted by fashiondiva
Maybe she doesn't see the rush for the STD cards b/c the wedding is over a year away. I personally think its way early for STD cards but thats my opinion. I think that most people would loose them b/4 they could even fill in their 2009 calendar. On the other hand this could be a passive-aggressive act on her part to display her reluctance for the wedding. I wish you the best of luck.
No, I wouldn't be sending them out till January but the main issue is his mother doesn't like me. So, anyway that she could make me miserable she will attempt to succeed at it.
oktom22
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Hopefully she realizes sooner than later that the wedding is partially her son's day as well, and while she may have her issues w/ you, she should want to see her son happy.
Does your FH have any siblings that could possibly help in getting the addresses?
zoe282
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
I had a friend who's FMIL was running late on getting her addresses for STDs and my friend had a great attitude about it. If their side wants to drag their feet on it then it's not her problem! If your FMIL wants her friensd and family to get the STD's then she will get them to you, if she's being a pain, then at least your side will get them. Tell FH that you will send them out to his friends and such and that's all you can do. It's amazing how people are but you are just going to have to go on. FH needs to control him mom on this one...
Aristotelina
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
Yeah, I would just do it without her. She is the one who is being rude and disrespectful. Have FH fill in as much as the guestlist as possible and then go from there!!
Sometimes FMIL's can DEF suck--sorry!
futuremrsfab
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
I had the same issue with FH's side of the family- so I compiled my list, got what I could get from him and sent those, then told him that it was a shame that his family wouldnt have anywhere to stay because the hotel was booking up- withinn a day or two I had the list
fashiondiva
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
If you remain calm and act as if her behavior (lack of action or help) is not a problem with you... then that will piss her off more... just like a kid having a tantrum - if you ignore it, they will stop. She is baiting you to get a reaction and possibly cause you and her son to fight over the situation. Don't take the bait. Be the bigger person as hard as it might be!!! A friend's FMIL did the same thing... baiting her for a fight.. and it was.. the groom and the bride to be fought right b/4 the ceremony b/c he took his mom's side.
stephanienyc2002
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Re: ***FH IS PISSED OFF***
I've been going through this for 2 yrs. I tried to get a guest list from FH and he keeps telling me his mother has been working on it. well, it's exactly 24 months later and no list, so guess what? too bad. i guess anyone we don't know won't be coming, awww!
i think part of it is b/c she dislikes me and part of it b/c she doesn't care for us getting married. she made a list last year for his brother's wedding, how about just crossing off the people that are not coming to ours and giving us that one? but i think it's just the point that anything they can do to upset us has been done and this is actually one of the least that i care about.
don't worry. BTW, do you know how many tables she was reserving for her friends/family you don't know/aren't close with? maybe you can just not send out STDs to them but still reserve that number of seats, e.g. one table or two and that way you can also limit the rampant inviting that parents sometimes do LOL!!.
