FH problem...

So what do I do about a FH that is so insecure that I can't even go to lunch with 2 of my female coworkers and 2 of my male coworkers, all of which he met? FH is basically upset with me bc I did just that, and he said that I said It was going to be just the girls, but my one female coworker invited the 2 guys, which I don't care. They are both in commited relationships and they are cool with FH. I don't know why he's flippin, but he just tried to pull some spiteful shyt on me.

Advice would be really great right now. I am a laid back person, nothing bothers me, but I am soooo urked!



UPDATE: well i spoke to him, and he's just going through some crap right now. Still no reason to lash out at me. We have to work some stuff out, but you girls are 100% correct. I swear, what he needs is a good a$$ kicking! lol. I'll take away his racecar racing I swear I will. What a complete a-hole. He'll have to get over it. I'm not changing for him. Thanks for the advice and comforting!! U girls are my savors.

Hmmmm.....is there a reason why he is insecure about this?

The situation sounds totally innocent. Just b/c you are engaged doesn't mean ou stop interacting with guys!!

Sorry, sounds like a crappy situation

i would say to have a serious heart to heart convo with him...

i hope it all works out!!!

sorry your stressing!!

i think you need to have a talk with him bc he should def trust you...I wouldn't put up with fh acting jealous for having male friends. he should trust you even if you went out with just another male coworker.

good luck

im just going to say 1 thing... fh is NOT your keeper. u are not a dog.

he flipped out because u went to lunch with co workers?

is he always like this? are u ever 'allowed'( i hate that term) to go out without him?

this is a tough situation.......i 100% agree with you because this is harmless.....they are all in relationships, its just lunch! But it sounds like your FH has some jealousy issues and coming from someone who has had issues in the past with an ex that was extremely jealous i would say you need to talk to him about this pronto. right now its little things....it could get worse if you don't tell him how you feel and tell him he needs to trust you more......just my opinion though....so good luck!! I would say communication is key, don't ignore it

Ask him if he is guilty of something. Ask him if you should be jealous of all the women at his job.

Tell him he is being disrespectful towards you by acting this way and if he doesn't trust you to have lunch with your coworkers then you have a serious problem.

ok, so heres the thing. I don't ask permission to go out, I just do it. Trust me, I would never have stayed if that was the case. Its his rotten insecurity.
And than he has the nerve to turn around and be like ' God sometimes you act your mom' (my mom and I have a sour relationship... she is to Alpha female for my liking). So that burns my a$$ bc i in no way act like her. And he had to reason to say it either.

We were ok for so long, but than he vomitted when my sister made me join twitter, and he fought with me about that, and I had to have my sister tell him it was F-in stupid and she just wanted to have a follower (lol) but than now I get this?

I think he maybe on the fine line of craziness. I really do.

yeah my fh used to be like that too.... i hate to say it but it was bc he was guilty of doing the wrong thing when he was with other girls...

i never gave him anything to be jealous about and we actually broke up bc he was so crazy when I even looked at another guy i told him i wasnt going to pay for what his ex gf did to him so he needed to get over it or we couldnt be together...

so I would say that you really need to talk to him about it...trust is key in any relationship

HTH...good luck

---

Posted by Sandradv121

ok, so heres the thing. I don't ask permission to go out, I just do it. Trust me, I would never have stayed if that was the case. Its his rotten insecurity.
And than he has the nerve to turn around and be like ' God sometimes you act your mom' (my mom and I have a sour relationship... she is to Alpha female for my liking). So that burns my a$$ bc i in no way act like her. And he had to reason to say it either.

We were ok for so long, but than he vomitted when my sister made me join twitter, and he fought with me about that, and I had to have my sister tell him it was F-in stupid and she just wanted to have a follower (lol) but than now I get this?

I think he maybe on the fine line of craziness. I really do.

---

the mom thing just sounds like a low blow...just to get you mad...ya know?

---

Posted by Bride825

---

Posted by Sandradv121

ok, so heres the thing. I don't ask permission to go out, I just do it. Trust me, I would never have stayed if that was the case. Its his rotten insecurity.
And than he has the nerve to turn around and be like ' God sometimes you act your mom' (my mom and I have a sour relationship... she is to Alpha female for my liking). So that burns my a$$ bc i in no way act like her. And he had to reason to say it either.

We were ok for so long, but than he vomitted when my sister made me join twitter, and he fought with me about that, and I had to have my sister tell him it was F-in stupid and she just wanted to have a follower (lol) but than now I get this?

I think he maybe on the fine line of craziness. I really do.

---

the mom thing just sounds like a low blow...just to get you mad...ya know?

---

Its his secret weapon. What an idiot!?

---

Posted by Sandradv121

---

Posted by Bride825

---

Posted by Sandradv121

ok, so heres the thing. I don't ask permission to go out, I just do it. Trust me, I would never have stayed if that was the case. Its his rotten insecurity.
And than he has the nerve to turn around and be like ' God sometimes you act your mom' (my mom and I have a sour relationship... she is to Alpha female for my liking). So that burns my a$$ bc i in no way act like her. And he had to reason to say it either.

We were ok for so long, but than he vomitted when my sister made me join twitter, and he fought with me about that, and I had to have my sister tell him it was F-in stupid and she just wanted to have a follower (lol) but than now I get this?

I think he maybe on the fine line of craziness. I really do.

---

the mom thing just sounds like a low blow...just to get you mad...ya know?

---

Its his secret weapon. What an idiot!?

---

mine does the same thing!!! doesnt bother me anymore though

sounds like hes got some old issues to deal with.. was he really hurt by an ex in the past?

and i think the low blow was way out of line.. you need to talk to him and find out whats really bothering him..

hope it works out!!

Well we don't need to tell you, you did NOTHING wrong. So if for any reason you are questioing why you went, or thinking had you not went this fight wouldn't have happend, STOP NOW!

Jealousy is a serious thing in a relationship. As well as trust and you really need to try and get to the root of why he isn't trusting you. As many of the other girls have said is he doing something shady and deflecting it on you. Is he just 'that type of guy'.... either way it is not right or fair to you. My only advice is to have a long and calm conversation about this. My FI and I have said since the very beginning, if there is no trust then there is no relationship. This coming from 2 people who have both been cheated on in the past....

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and wish you all the luck if you wanna chat more private feel free to FM me. We're all here for you.

I would talk to him and find out exactly why he is this insecure. Its going to be hard to get somebody who is possessive to stop, a lot of men dont like to listen or figure out why they are like this. But you cant give in to it. DOn't act like you did something wrong, by doing so it just makes him feel he is right, dont give in. What if you had a job where you constantly had to meet with clients and go to dinners, would he not allow you even if your job counted on it, ya know.

I had an ex who was like this, well why im not with him anymore and a million other reasons. Personally, i felt instead of it changing it got worse. Thats why it needs to stop as soon as it starts. Controlling people dont see what they do wrong and no matter how crazy it is, they feel they are right, they have to somehow see that they are not.

Let me just say that it is SUCH a huge difference when you dont deal with that. DH is the complete opposite, doesnt question me about things and feels that there is no reason why one has to control the other and why we cant still go out on our own and have friends and do things. HE actually yells at me that i haven't gone out with my friends in a while, and i can go away with friends if i wanted to. If i had lunch with a male co-worker he wouldnt think anything of it. The main part is trust, your fh has to realize he NEEDS to trust you, he can't go his whole life thinking he can't and you wouldn't want to deal with that either.

I really really really hope you don't take this the wrong way but seems like he does get jealous and fights about these things, wasn't he mad not long ago bc of myspace or facebook or something like that. You need to sit him down and talk to him. Only saying this bc I went through that and its not a way to live. Hopefully he will listen to what you have to say.

Good luck

---

Posted by Jna2010

fh used to be exactly like this (before we were engaged), i basically told him i havent given him any reason not to trust me and since he cant obviously do this, we have to rethink where were going with this relationship because, without trust nothing will work

---

ITA with this approach.... I hope it works. Initially its flattering...then it becomes a fight any time you are in the company of other men. Its hard. I hope it gets better.