fh scared of standing in front during ceremony

i am thrilled to death and want to personalize it and make it super special and he wants to say i do and run.

help : (

what can i do?

anyone else or their fh so nervous?

normally i am a mess with public speaking but this situation is so different i am too excited to be nervous. i feel like its just me and him and no one there even though thats not the case.

is this immaturity or is it a realistic fear? it sounds normal to me but i am disappointed

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FH is nervous, but I am too! In my head I love to be the center of attention, but when it actually happens I am totally uncomfortable.

I would love to make my ceremony more personal, but I am going to be so nervous I just want to stick with the traditional vows. If you were to make it more personal it would be very sweet, but no one is going to have any bad things to say if you don't.

I think in this situation you have to think of it as it is your (plural) wedding day. It's his just as much as it is yours. If he isn't going to be happy or if he is going to dread a part of the day, you should probably think twice about that part.

awww im sure once it gets closer he may be okay with it...my fh isnt nervous that way...we spoke at our eparty but its understandable that ur FH is really nervous

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Posted by korndoggie

FH is nervous, but I am too! In my head I love to be the center of attention, but when it actually happens I am totally uncomfortable.

I would love to make my ceremony more personal, but I am going to be so nervous I just want to stick with the traditional vows. If you were to make it more personal it would be very sweet, but no one is going to have any bad things to say if you don't.

I think in this situation you have to think of it as it is your (plural) wedding day. It's his just as much as it is yours. If he isn't going to be happy or if he is going to dread a part of the day, you should probably think twice about that part.

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I agree and I am with you on this also. I feel the same way.

Get him drunk before the ceremony to get him to open up no, no, I kid! hehe If you want personalized vows would it be ok to read from a paper? This might make him feel more at ease about stubling his words....

I'm personally super excited as well however, I am sticking to traditional vows. There are certain things I can be more open about (like doing a special dance or something) vs. personalizing vows. I don't know why, but i'd feel more comfortable when someone tells me what to say. I guess its all about what you're comfortable with. I think you and your FH will be able to come to a compromise and everything will eventually work out.

i think you should respect his fear and find another way to personalize your wedding.

I would NEVER be able to do that - i am super nervous about the traditional vows! Luckily, FH is the same way as me.

You don't want him to dread that part of your wedding! good luck.

Here are two suggestions...

1.) Don't use a microphone. Maybe your FH would feel better if he knew you were really the only person that could hear what he was saying.

2.) (A friend of mine did this). You can each write something about each other and how you feel about one another and your relationship and instead of those being your vows, you can have the officiant read what you wrote to one another. It's still personal but it takes the pressure off of you and FH of having to remember and recite what you wrote.

we were nervous too. DH told me he was so nervous but then when he saw me he was able to relax, we saw each other before the ceremony and that really helped, can you do that?

also, when you get up there, honestly you are so absorbed in each other, you won't even notice there is anyone else around.

Thanks everyone!

We have not met with the officiant yet, but soon. So then we will get more ideas. We are not sure exactly yet. All I know is that he wants to say I do and leave and I just know I want MORE.

I like traditional, but with only a tiny bit of personal which i mean can be in anyway-i just want something thats 'us' any where in the ceremony- and that can we vows or even some sort of symbolized type act like the unity candle or this hand ceremony i saw someone do on youtube or I read something about a bell truce. He doesn't even want to hear about these things until he speaks with the officiant. I also am upset because these type of things done in a ceremony have NO MEANING if it is only important to me and NOT him- so then we can't and won't do it.

Its not that he is not sentimental but just nervous - which so am I usually !!! i turn beat red and talk real fast in public speaking - but i am so excited about this that i am not even thinking about the 'audience'

we are seeing each other before for pictures and we are going out to breakfast at the diner we met at the morning of the wedding- so i hope being together that day can make him feel comfortable - but last night talking about it he was saying i was making him feel worse

i am a organized planner and he lives day by day so this is another part of the conflict. he doesn't understand why we are planning the wedding now. !!!!!!!!

other than these issues - i swear we really are a perfect match!!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ


also, when you get up there, honestly you are so absorbed in each other, you won't even notice there is anyone else around.

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I was thinking this too!!!!

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Posted by AMGBride2008



2.) (A friend of mine did this). You can each write something about each other and how you feel about one another and your relationship and instead of those being your vows, you can have the officiant read what you wrote to one another. It's still personal but it takes the pressure off of you and FH of having to remember and recite what you wrote.

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i like this - thank you

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Posted by smplynluv

Get him drunk before the ceremony to get him to open up no, no, I kid! hehe .

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LOL do you know I have known him for 7 years and have NEVER seen him drink more than one drink/and never seen him drunk! He is so good!