Well remember ladies how i told you that Fh got a new job. Well two days before our engagement party he quit and found a new one. Well when he went to start there the owner interviewed him again and then the owner tells him sorry you dont have experience to work here so now my FH has no job. I am so mad everytime i get him number to call i ask him did you call he gives me the run around. He sleeps intil 1pm. and gets up eat, takes a shower and then lays on the couch to play playstation. Im tried of payin for everything. Also yesterday is car loan was due and he didnt have the money so he had to take the money out of our savings account to pay it and all that money that is in there is the money that ive been saving. So it seems like i paid his loan. I also paid for the whole E-party, when we went away last week i paid for eveything and that inculed gas. I've had it he did this once before and i dont want him to do this again. I just want him to get a job and work and pay his bills and start saving for our wedding. But if he doesnt get a job then we might be over. im tired of playing his lazy games of not working. But when i tell him that he gets mad and is like your not my mom dont tell me what i have to do becuase i know what i have to do. So im like then just do it then. Sorry so long vent is over.
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: FH.... VENT
I've been through something similar...Fh did the same thing to me. He was out on disability and all day long he played video games and slept in while I was the one cooking, cleaning, AND doing laundry. It pissed me off so much. His excuse was 'well I get a check every week who cares?'
I dont know but I get annoyed when I see him take a day off sick or go on disability. I know he has a bad neck from his job but it annoys me. I go to work sick! Why cant he? I know its selfish but thats just how I was raised..
kabo0831
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Re: FH.... VENT
i know i just hope that he get unempolyment so that he can have money to pay his car ins and also his car loan in Oct. It just gets me mad tht im the breadwinner and he isnt. He is the guy and that is the guy's job not the wifes....
FutureMrsLehmann
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Re: FH.... VENT
aw i'm sory this is so stressful for you! you should try to talk to him about it. i know it'll be tough because you're both probably pretty emotional about this situation, but getting everything out in the open will help.
hopefully he'll see that by not trying 100% to find a new job, he's hurting you and causing you a lot of stress. i'm sure this rough patch will be over before you know it.
Future Mulligan
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Re: FH.... VENT
not be a debbie downer but is that the kind of life you want? i hope your FH changes.....i dont know the whole story but it seems like he is lazy and is taking advantage of the free ride.....he should have a job regardless of if you are saving for a wedding.......you need to make sure your FH is reponsible and can hold down a good job....how old is he? shouldnt he be going on interviews? and searching the paper/internet for work? i know that my FH would feel embarrased and feel like a bum if i had to pay for everything - his job gives him a sense of pride.....i hope everything works out for you guys....please dont take anything i said the wrong way - its just ive seen this happen to people - and its horrible and only gets worse as time goes on and would hate for that to happen to you too......
kabo0831
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Re: FH.... VENT
Posted by Future Mulligan
not be a debbie downer but is that the kind of life you want? i hope your FH changes.....i dont know the whole story but it seems like he is lazy and is taking advantage of the free ride.....he should have a job regardless of if you are saving for a wedding.......you need to make sure your FH is reponsible and can hold down a good job....how old is he? shouldnt he be going on interviews? and searching the paper/internet for work? i know that my FH would feel embarrased and feel like a bum if i had to pay for everything - his job gives him a sense of pride.....i hope everything works out for you guys....please dont take anything i said the wrong way - its just ive seen this happen to people - and its horrible and only gets worse as time goes on and would hate for that to happen to you too......
I know where you are coming from and no worries about what you wrote. My Fh is 26 and he needs to get his *** into gear. I aslo told him that if he doesnt get a job by a time frame. It is either me or a JOB..... Thanks for the prays i need that also right now.
tinadansr
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Re: FH.... VENT
You need to tell him that he obviously needs some kind of mother cause he needs to get his butt in gear! You have the right to tell him to get moving.....Don't take anything out of your savings................i screwwed up once and had to learn the hard way and it's still killing me...I hope everything works out but being financially compatible is also a big part of being couple compatible..............Good luck hun I'm pulling for ya
ellyoxox
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Re: FH.... VENT
sorry you're going through that w/fh. you really need to sit down and talk w/him and tell him how you feel. it's not fair that he's sitting home not even trying to get a job and you're paying for everything. give him a time frame and if he doesn't have a job by then (or at least be going on interviews), tell him that you can't afford to pay all the bills AND save for the wedding on your own.
ilonka020
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Re: FH.... VENT
it ***** that you have to go through this. It's so annoying when your the one doing all the work and trying to save and he just sits and plays video games. I would be so furious. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how u feel.
Or when he finally gets a job you should quit ures and relax on the couch for a month, watch some chick flicks, have some girls nigts. Let him see how it feels. I'm j/k. It would sure teach him a lesson though.
kabo0831
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Re: FH.... VENT
Posted by ilonka020
it ***** that you have to go through this. It's so annoying when your the one doing all the work and trying to save and he just sits and plays video games. I would be so furious. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how u feel.
Or when he finally gets a job you should quit ures and relax on the couch for a month, watch some chick flicks, have some girls nigts. Let him see how it feels. I'm j/k. It would sure teach him a lesson though.
I like that
Future Mulligan
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Re: FH.... VENT
good luck! maybe after a long serious talk he'll understand where you are coming from. he can't collect umemployment forever! he also might be discouraged or doesn't want to get rejected again, or he is nervous about getting a new job and maybe that is why he is putting off.....so if you give him positive encouragement that may help.....good luck!!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: FH.... VENT
hope for the best...sometimes they shape up on their own!
In my relationship Im the one who likes their job. Fh is constantly complaining about his job. I dont know why though, he will NEVER get fired because hes backed by a union. Im not! I worry about it all the time.
lookitscassie
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Re: FH.... VENT
eeekk i hope he gets a new job soon!
Ann 52409
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Re: FH.... VENT
sorry your going through this and it's good that you talked to him... maybe he wiill step into gear because that is a serious issue that should be nipped in the bud before you get married
novia26
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Re: FH.... VENT
I think you should definitely talk to him about it before planning any further...the more you wait the more stressful it will be. Hope you feel better
Aristotelina
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Re: FH.... VENT
Sorry to hear you are going through this--first, here is a big for you!!! You will get through this!!
Second, I know you might not want to consider how FH is feeling, but it might help the situation. My FH has been out of work now for months and as much as it bothers me from time to time that I am the one who is working, cleaning, cooking, etc. I try to understand that HE probably feels even worse for not finding a job that he truly loves!!!
Just try talking to him without the slightest hint of annoyance or anger in your voice and let him know how you feel. Explain that you are feeling overwhelmed and tha tmaybe you guys can work on finding a job TOGETHER.
Just be as patient as possible and be firm with what you want....and have faith that brighter days are ahead!!!
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: FH.... VENT
So sorry you're going through this. Hopefully it will end soon and he'll get a great job. I know there's supposedly a Saint my grandma always prays to for people to find jobs... not sure who it is though. My grandma has a Saint to pray to for practically everything! She's awesome!
MzHopesAlot
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Re: FH.... VENT
Be REALLY careful please. I was engaged once before (Boyfriend was on a minor league team...cyclones) and when he hurt his arm, wouldnt get another job. I paid the rent, food, everything... and ended up so miserable. I thought i loved him but in the end, I resented him. Just make sure you voice your opinion early... or else it gets harder and harder... Thats how i started this relationship and 4 years later we've only had one fight (over getting married... lol)
Ms SunnShinne
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Re: FH.... VENT
I know how u feel...my EX was a free loader...not saying ur FH is at all...But I worked and had money and he did nothing but complain and made it seem like I HAD to pay for EVERYTHING. It was so bad that he would offer other ppl something when we would go somewhere and I was the one paying!!! And in the end he wanted me to pay a $1000 phone bill that he told me he was 'working' to pay and when I was cleaning up I found the last bill and I PAID it so he's stuck with $1000 debt in his name...hahahahahaha OH well life ***** huh!!
But back to u...he may be upset or he might not be...he might be comfortable with the fact that YOU WILL take care of him no matter what...but u have to tell him that that isnt what u want! And ur uncomfortable about it
BlushingBride09
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Re: FH.... VENT
I would definetly talk to your FH. i don't necessarily think the wife should always be the bread winner, but I do believe if your not disabled and are able to work than you should be working. This might be a long term behavior for him and you don't wanna worry about this all the time, especially when there is more finances when you get married. Do you guys live together? Since he says your not his mom, just curious what does his mom think of this? Just like some other people said don't take what I said the wrong way, but this doesn't sound like a good situation for you because you may start to resent him.
