Hi ladies, just wondering if everyone is getting frustrated with their FH not helping with anything.
My FH just wants to show up at the wedding and doens't want to help with anything! I'm getting fed up. He doesn't even want to help with the registry or call hotels to block rooms for his family (they are coming form out of town).
Anytime I approach him about it he goes 'I'm not good at planning, you do it.' And anytime I ask him to drive me someone to meet with the officiant or florist, he gets testy and complains.
And when I said I can't do everything and insist that he helps out he gets upset and said 'I don't want to, just hire a wedding planner.'
I'm getting really fed up with him and have considered calling off the wedding a number of times, he's the one who insist on having the wedding too!
daisy44lc
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
I understand, my FH doesn't help either, though he did register with me. Is their someone else that you could ask to help you with the planning. Men can be a PITA.
scappy123
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Mine doesnt want to help either. I just do it myself or with my mom b/c it turns out easier and then i just get to do it my way. He did the honeymoon though..... I cant even get him to help with the officiant.....
TeeSee81
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
When FH first got engaged i told him he will not be one of those guys who say ill meet you at the church. I told him he will be helping me plan and look around..
Maybe try telling your FH that you aren't good at planning either (even if you are) and that it should be team work and that you need him to help you decide and make choices. That the wedding is not just you that its about him too.
Its can be stressful and not always easy to make discussions.
I wish you luck.
Brassgirl9
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Maybe you shouldn't ask and just tell him, 'Ok this is what we're doing today' lol. It's worth a shot. Mine helped with picking a band, and he might go do the registry thing, but other than that I'm on my own. I think he would like it if I just sent him an invitation to the wedding so he knows when to show up, lol.
CLMon7906
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
My FH has been of so little help that when he does offer, I just tell him I'm fine and don't need the help even though I do. His father was the same way so I figure he can't be all that bad, his dad turned out pretty well.
R&J0806
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
i know how frustrating it is, my FH isn't into the planning either. But look at it this way -- if you do all the planning than FH can't say anything if you picked something he doesn't care for. you might find it to be easy after you really think about it.
but get to to go register with you...every guy i know (including my FH) found it fun.
alioop4282
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
My FH does nothing...it may just be a guy thing.
edsprincess
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
At first DH didn't want anything to do with it but I wanted his opinion on lots of things. He did help but not as much as I wanted him to.
kara10152006
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Maybe you can involve him in the areas he may be most interested in (limos & dj/band?). Keep the choices of stationary, flowers, attire and other topics for yourself and your mom or friends. If you really want his input ask for it when you've narrowed down your options to two. Hopefully he'll see that it's not so overwhelming and want to help a little more. Good Luck!!!
bride2b24
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
lets put it this way.....your not alone! lol....i mean mine has his moments but for the most part he knows that i the one making the decisions!
mrsh2b
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
You could be describing my FH with all of that too. I can totally sympathize with you. It's so annoying and has been the subject of many arguments. By the way, FH and I almost NEVER fought (maybe twice in the 2 years we've been together) until wedding planning. Now it's like a daily thing. Is anyone else experiencing more frequent arguing also?
suzybilly819
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Sorry about your FH. I also told my FH if you want a big wedding that you have to help plan it. I work full time and work long hours and can not do it all on my own. FH definitely has done his share.
Talk to FH about it , and if he suggest hiring a wedding planner then tell him how much one costs and tell him to pay for it!!! Also ask him is this how much he is going to participate in the marriage? there are much bigger things you do when you are married... raising kids & owning a home... Perhaps that will put things in perspective for him.
Good luck
sarahradio5
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
mine went with me to book the reception site, the limos and register at Macy's. He dealt with listening to the ceremony music cd, and actually weighed in with his approval. I had to twist his arm to get him to go to pre-Cana (although now I think he likes it)... and I'll have to twist his arm again to go get our engagement photos. I am not giving him a choice, though, on our last sitting with the DJ or the menu selection (those are fun anyway). I haven't been able to get him to go to ONE bridal expo with me (he said he'll only go to one... it's called our wedding). I'm shocked as hell that I SOMEHOW got him to go to the liweddings Anniversary Party. I can barely get him to look at the screen to show him the hotel I booked for our honeymoon or even to show him our honeymoon registry I created! It is VERY aggravating... but what can we do? It upsets me when I mistake his lack of interest in planning our wedding for a lack of interest in getting married. But I just have to keep reminding myself that I LOVE him for being a macho guy, and that same 'macho-ness' is what makes him HATE wedding planning.
ksl268
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
I don't think your alone on this one. Is there maybe any part of the wedding that does actually interest him? When FH and I got engaged we discussed the planning process and what was important to him. I can get him involved with certain planning steps and not bother to ask him what shade of red he prefers HTH
2Be1
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Communication is key, have a serious talk with him about how you really feel and be specific about how he can help. It worked for me and FH
eden
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Thanks everyone for your responses! I'm so glad I'm not alone in this dilemma.
FH thinks he's helping by driving me to meet the vendors and when we sit down with them, he totally zones out and just sits there looking totally bored.
I've resigned myself to doing all the planning.
But once we have kids, he LOVES kids, he's gonna make up for it by doing ALOT of diaper changing and feeding!
:D
RadioLau
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
I'm sorry your FI hasn't been that helpful. Mine is involved with everything. I love the help but sometimes I just want to get things done!
maiko
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
Mine's the same. I'll ask him a question and most of the time I'll get a shrug or 'I dunno'. It's soo frustrating. Sometimes I just crack.
camposal
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Re: FH Won't Help With Wedding Plans
You definiely are not alone. I will pretty much send FH and invite so he knows where and when to show up. At first we argued about planning alot, but then I got a wedding planner and the arguements ended. Maybe a wedding planner would help decrease your anxiety.
