My FH is originally from Kansas and so I know that things are a little different out there! But seriously, his parents are just not into our wedding at all!!! FH is the youngest in the family and they have already been through a few weddings (his parents are very old too) but its really upsetting me. The first time i saw them after we were engaged it took them over an hour before they asked to see the ring and say congratulations... when my parents asked them if they thought much of their family (brothers & sisters & aunts & uncles etc.) would come to the wedding they said 'probably not'. And since then they have had no part of the wedding, its like its not gonna happen in their minds. They definetly are not contributing (financially or verbally) to any of it, probably not even for the rehearsal dinner. FH tried to calm me down and offered to talk to them, but i feel that will just make things worse! I know it shouldnt upset me, but it just does!!! FH's dad is a retired baptist minister so he is doing part of the ceremony for us, but even still it's like pulling teeth trying to figure out how he's going to do his part in a catholic church without it going against his beliefs - aghhh! Sorry to vent so early in the morning but its killing me to think about it!
Spring143
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Re: FH's family VENT
aww Im sorry. If your fh is going to speak to them let him-see what happens. It stinks but you got to accept people for the way they are. Dont worry too much over it.
Christine N Ralph
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Re: FH's family VENT
Try not to think about it...focus on the people who are interested about your wedding. You are not going to change these people so be happy knowing that you dont have nosy fil's annoying you through the planning stages...and if they dont come (I know that would be upsetting) you are going to have 100 other people there who WANT to be there for you and fh...
I wouldn't really worry about it. Same situation over here I don't let it bother me...
Soon2bShea
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Re: FH's family VENT
I'm sorry your dealing with that...I know how you feel, FH's mom is the exact same way. She hasn't even said congrats yet, nor asked to see the ring. It's hard to ignore unfortunately I hope it gets better though
asg450
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Re: FH's family VENT
aw, so sorry about this. I would feel the same way also if I was in your situation.
2010 Fall Bride
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Re: FH's family VENT
Don't pay them any mind, I am going through the same thing! It does bother but at the same time don't even let that Stress you out!
Iluvpoodles
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Re: FH's family VENT
Seriously, try..I know it's hard.. to not dwell on it. If they don't come you can't force them. You could try talking to FH about it but he can't control what other people do or don't do. There's also the chance that he may see his family through rose colored glasses like mine does and may not even realize what they are doing is offensive.
NewYorker09
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Re: FH's family VENT
I can kinda relate, but from the other side. My family is all from Pennsylvania and they do NOT do weddings there like they do here. I realize that 100% and don't expect them to change their views of a wedding just because my wedding is in NY but it drives FH a little nuts. I do realize how it can be hard to deal with 2 families viewing things on different ends of the spectrum though! I'm sure it's really frustrating but realize they're (probably) not trying to be mean or insensitive, it's probably just how they're used to doing things. Not many places outside of New York have weddings like this!
meganbrandon
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Re: FH's family VENT
thanks guys! i know i shouldnt let it bother me - and for the most part i've been ok... but everyonce in a while i get REALLY upset about it! Thanks for the support though :)
jcreilly
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Re: FH's family VENT
Im sorry maybe you should ask Fh to deal with them ,at least they are not trying to take over your wedding
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: FH's family VENT
I think you need to let this go. They are elderly and from another part of the country where engagements and weddings are very didfferent. I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment in the future if you hold onto this kind of resentment
