I’m trying to decide on my bridesmaids – I have my sister as MOH and my three best friends as BMs. FH was going to have the same number – his two brothers and two friends but now wants to add another friend.
I was going to ask FH’s sister to be a bridesmaid but I’m not really that close with her - also she’s already married (does that matter?) Plus we wanted to have her daughter as a flower girl so then she’d have to buy two dresses. So I don’t want her to feel like she has to if she doesn’t want to but I also don’t want her to feel excluded.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
Since you're havign her kid in it, i think its okay if you dont ask her... this is what im doing... putin in fh's nieces and nephew instead of his bro and sis
eta: and dont worry about an uneven bp... it wont make a difference on the big day
Im a Pepper
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
i went through this SAME exact thing... i wondered whether or not I should ask my FSIL's to be in our BP, I didn't want to make them feel pressured, but I'm not extremely close to them because there's just never been time to develop a close relationship (we're all busy with our own things - them with work and their kids; me, with work and school, etc). Anyway, I decided to go for it. I've never had a sister of my own and I'd like to include them. I just ordered more 'Will you be my bridesmaid' cards with cute poems for asking FSIL's to be your BM and I'm going to mail them out this week (we live in Philly and FIL's live on LI). I'm also going to ask for FSIL's daughter to be my Jr. BM. FSIL's are both older and one is married. I say go for it if you want to include her!
yngcpl92203
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
We are having FSIL as a bm and her daughter is going to be our flowergirl. We are all pretty close and we wanted to make our whole bridal party a family thing.
If you are not that close and dont think you want her, then thats up to you. I feel it is personal choice, There is no right or wrong. If you know you want fh neice as your flowergirl, i still think that is a very nice way to keep her as part of your special day.
sarahdavid
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
You can have whomever you want in your bridal party. I think that if you want to have her in it then you should just ask. If she feels its going to be too much of a burden to buy 2 dresses then I'm sure she will say thank you for asking but she'd rather not. Since you're not that close right now it might be a nice way to get closer to her. I'm sure your FH would also be happy that you want to include her. And it definitely doesn't matter that she's married. I have married and single people in my bridal party.
frenchy702
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
I'm having the FSIL in my BP but she's younger and we're kind of close. I think that if you want her to be in the BP then definitely ask her, if she can't financially then I'm sure she'll let you know and feel honored that you asked her
MrsInglima
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
I had something similar happen to me too. We're going to have my brother in the bridal party and my dad suggested we have FSIL as well. I'm not that close with her because we haven't had a chance to have a relationship, so I told FH if he wanted her I would have her (keep in mind that would mean he would have to find another GM so that she felt included and not just tagged on after the fact). So he said he did and I asked her and at first she said yes, then she backed about because she didn't have the money.
I think it's a good idea to have FSIL involved some how because this will set the tone for your marriage (ie. that you want to include her and everything). So maybe you could talk to her about it and see what she wants to do.
chicky724
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
Yeah... I was actually thinking of asking my FMIL what she thought about it too... like she might say umm Kim doesn't WANT to be in your wedding. Haha
WinterGrl09
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
We are having our brothers and sisters as our BMs and GMs. I'm not that close to my FSIL but i said why not. Plus all the nieces will be our FGs.
DnJ0809
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
I have never met FH's sister yet. She lives in Florida. At first I considered asking her to be a BM but then decided not to because we'd need another guy and FH didn't have anyone in mind.
chicky724
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
Posted by DnJ0809
I have never met FH's sister yet. She lives in Florida. At first I considered asking her to be a BM but then decided not to because we'd need another guy and FH didn't have anyone in mind.
Yeah, that would be hard since she lives in another state.
I also probably should have mentioned that FSIL has a year and a half year old and is having another baby in May, so that might make it hard for her too.
I'll probably end up asking her and just letting her decide if she wants to be in it or not.
RobNCyn
Posted:
Member since
Re: FH's sister?
You can absolutely ask her . . . if you are concerned it will be too much. . . just tell her that it's only a question and you would like her to share your specila day with you but if she can't for whatever reason it will not offend you in any way.
And as for having an uneven bp . . . you can always have three people walk down together or have someone walk alone. . . it's common to have the MOH or Best man walk down seperately. It'svery very common to have uneven bps today.
