Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

I am sure you all remember that Fh didn't want to tip becaiuse of the grat being includedd inthe price of the hall. So after talking to some ladies on here, I decided to ask Leonard's about it.

But now I am starting to think my FH is an *******. We went to Leonard's on Sunday to make another payment. I asked some questions, but when I got outside I realized I forgot to ask about the gratuity. So I tell Fh that I want to go back and ask about the dispursement of the gratuity and he goes bullistic, saying that he doesn't give a **** what they say becuase he is not doing it. He then got mad at me for continuting to bring it up. So I got mad and was sitting quietly stewing in my juices and then he got mad and started yelling and cursing at me for not talking to him. ARGH!!!

So I get home, take a look at the contract AGAIN. The 15% added to the bill is not even gratuity, but a SERVICE CHARGE!!!

So now I have to go back and tell FH that it's not a gratuity. I don't even want to talk to him.

Re: Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

Ugh- That sounds really frustrating. He needs to be made aware that the service charge is just that.. not the tip. I would let him cool down a bit and then present the info to him. He is obviously mis-informed.

Good luck!

Re: Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

It sounds like he needs to cool down before you can talk to him. Hope he is able to see that he has to tip. It stinks and is frustrating but part of the process.

Re: Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

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Posted by CubanBride

I am sure you all remember that Fh didn't want to tip becaiuse of the grat being includedd inthe price of the hall. So after talking to some ladies on here, I decided to ask Leonard's about it.

But now I am starting to think my FH is an *******. We went to Leonard's on Sunday to make another payment. I asked some questions, but when I got outside I realized I forgot to ask about the gratuity. So I tell Fh that I want to go back and ask about the dispursement of the gratuity and he goes bullistic, saying that he doesn't give a **** what they say becuase he is not doing it. He then got mad at me for continuting to bring it up. So I got mad and was sitting quietly stewing in my juices and then he got mad and started yelling and cursing at me for not talking to him. ARGH!!!

So I get home, take a look at the contract AGAIN. The 15% added to the bill is not even gratuity, but a SERVICE CHARGE!!!

So now I have to go back and tell FH that it's not a gratuity. I don't even want to talk to him.

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May I offer just a couple of pieces of support and advice?

First, WAIT until everyone cools down before even trying to discuss this point. Cool heads always prevail in every situation. Second, when you do talk to him, tell him you totally see where he is coming from because as it is, you guys are paying for the wedding yourselves (I believe I have this right?) and you're already making sacrifice upon sacrifice to pay for it. Just even voicing that you understand where he's coming from will serve to keep him cool and make him feel heard. Last, when you're sure he's calm and therefore can really hear YOU, tell him that since you understand where he's coming from, to please hear you out as well. Explain that you are not just trying to come up with more expense for the wedding, but that gratuities are customary in the industry. Try to show him that if he was a service provider (i.e. a waiter or limo driver) that he would feel a little stiffed if he got no tip at all. And then finally, see if you guys can come to an absolute minimum figure that you will spend NO MORE THAN on tips, combined for all the providers. Stick to it. Start a 'tip fund' jar for it if you have to. And then put this issue to bed and don't revisit it.

I hope everything works out. I know it will. I'm rooting for you guys!!

Re: Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

Honestly, the subject of the fight is not the real issue. It's Fh's behavior and his continuing way he talks to me, and others, when he is angry.

Re: Fight with FH regarding tipping!!!

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Posted by CubanBride

Honestly, the subject of the fight is not the real issue. It's Fh's behavior and his continuing way he talks to me, and others, when he is angry.

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Okay. That certainly needs to be addressed. I wanted in that regard to MYOB, but 'yelling and cursing' at you is disrespectful, and it's gotta be nipped in the bud now. I hope you guys work it out.