Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

pa56 Posted: Jun 22, 2009 09:24 AM

Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

So my friend is recently engaged. Her parents are paying
for the wedding. This is tradition in indian weddings.

My friend's father and fiance both have VERY strong opinions about what they want for the wedding. Funny thing is that my friend (the bride!) is very casual about it. She is having a very hard time trying to balance her dad's ideas (the guy who's paying!) versus her fiance's ideas (the guy she's marrying!).

Her dad wants an 11am wedding because it's cheaper but the fiance wants a 3pm wedding so it flows right into the cocktail hour/dinner. Her fiance wants fancy favors, but her dad doesn't. The list of disagreements goes on and on. What would you do as this bride? She is having a hard time telling her fiance that since her dad is paying, her parents should get to decide what's best and what's within their budget. She doesn't want to say this because they had a long talk about money and how they will share everything going forward! Anyone think of a way to say this without it being so obvious?

wo0shply Posted: Jun 22, 2009 09:28 AM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

Wow this is a hard one...

I guess there has to be a compromise, if her father is paying for the wedding and I know indian weddings are VERY elaborate and there are many guests that are invited I would say having the 11am wedding is very practical. If her FH wants more expensive favors, would it be possible for both her and her FH to pay for the favors, that way maybe the money they saved with favors can be used for other things that the couple may want.

I hope that makes sense and good luck to her.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 22, 2009 09:34 AM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

Definitely a difficult situation but its all about compromise. I kind of agree with the father, they are paying so they should make the big decisions, however they should want to make their daughter happy. I would have the daughter have a convo with the father. Maybe if the fiance really wants the fancy favors, he could pay for that since its important to him.

Lsorrent Posted: Jun 22, 2009 10:08 AM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

Any chance she could sit down with both her father and her FH and try to get them to compromise with one another? Like if the FH wants really fancy favors, then he needs to sacrifice the later wedding. That way the money they save on the wedding time could go towards favors.

JAAMS Posted: Jun 22, 2009 12:51 PM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

Posted by Lsorrent

Any chance she could sit down with both her father and her FH and try to get them to compromise with one another? Like if the FH wants really fancy favors, then he needs to sacrifice the later wedding. That way the money they save on the wedding time could go towards favors.

ITA- this seems to be the best option!

Liv123 Posted: Jun 22, 2009 02:31 PM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

It sounds like the fighting is finance related.

I think FH should have a say but if the father is paying then maybe father should set a budget and FH will have to come up with the rest of the money or sacrifice in other areas...

queensbride2010 Posted: Jun 22, 2009 03:35 PM

Re: Fighting over wedding plans.. .advice needed

Posted by Liv123

It sounds like the fighting is finance related.

I think FH should have a say but if the father is paying then maybe father should set a budget and FH will have to come up with the rest of the money or sacrifice in other areas...

I agree. I think she should ask for a budget from her father. Using that budget, both her and FH can decide what is most important to them and if they are willing to come up with the extra money to pay for the additional things.