FIL's GRRRR! Need Advice!

So my FSIL, who has been a complete *you-know-what* to me until very recently is having a baby shower for her second baby. I have to go and be nice and go with the flow, BUT


1) this is her second baby, isn't that kind of...umm greedy at this point

2) She knows about it and claims she needs all new stuff because kid #1 is a boy and kid #2 will be a girl.

3) When she had kid #1, my mom and I spent $200 on a baby gift and never got a thank you, because this girl is blatantly rude...And she knew that ofended me and never sent a thank you for any gifts we sent for the kid...ever...

4) he husband refuses to get a job, and yet she made this extensive registry with totally uneccesarily expensive stuff, just like she did last time. I think it's wrong to expect people to spend all of this money on you, when you don't have money (by choice), and when you never give anyone else any gifts because you claim you're so broke.

5) I didn't get an announcement when my nephew was born and I was not invited to his 1st birthday party....

Anyway, now they're being nice to me, so it's like, I'm going to go and I want to be nice and play along, but it REALLY pisses me off. I mean, I just think it's so classless, this whole thing.

I'm going to go and bring a gift, but I don't know...I really feel like pissing them off and getting a shirt that says 'if you think I'm cute, you should see my aunt.' LOL. Anyway, do you think it's wrong for me to try to find something at a really baragin basement price? If she has no money, then I really have none (I'm a college student), and I really splurged on gifts when my nephew was born, and I really don't feel like paying babies r us prices. I don't want to seem cheap, but really now. They're so unappreciative, and I really don't have the money.....

What would you do?


I also feel like emailing my FMIL (she's not the one throwing the shower), and just telling her how I feel about this whole shower thing, I really want tog et it off my chest..just how, she already ha da shower, she registers for expensive stuff, and I don't think it's really reasonable or fair to expect people to buy you expensive gifts a 2nd time around. I'm really uncomfortable with it, and I wouldn't even go except that it would be considered an affront, so i decided to play nice. I'm gonna amke chocolate lollipops for the shower. See? I'm good at playing nice..but inside I'm fuming, and I just don't feel like emptying my wallet over this.... ANY help or advice or anything would be appreciated...thanks@

1. I certainly would not spend anywhere near the same amount you spent on the first gift. NOT AT ALL.

2. The fact that you making favors for this thing makes you a saint in my eyes.

3. Now, I've been known to do a couple of ballsy things before, but if it were me personally I would include with my gift a thank you card with an envelope addressed to you and postage on it. Write out the card, thank you so much for your generousity over the years and please accept this card my sincere apology for the rotten wench I've been to you.

4.

well, as they say, you can pick your friends but not your relatives.

From a male point of view, I would say let it go for now. I see your wedding is in 2006. Thus, you'll be doing alot of planning and your In Law's will be involved -- like it or not. Thus, you don't want to create any added stress (aside from what will already be there). Creating a problem with FH's family (which will happen if you email your MIL about her daughter) will put FH in an awkward situation -- in the middle of a fight between you and his family. Take it from me. There were members of my family that didn;t get along with people on Boosh's side and it spilled over to the wedding planning. It was not fun and caused many an argument between Boosh and myself.

I say, for now, deal with the aggravation, and if after your wedding, you want to distance yourself, that's the time to do it, and it should be a mutual decision between you and your DH.

Hope that made sense

She has some nerve! I have never heard of a SECOND baby shower! LEt alone registering all over again for MORE gifts...if she wants to celebrate the pregnancy..more power to her - but she should have indicated that gifts are not necessary.

If I were you - I would make the favors my gift for the shower and give the baby a gift when it is born. I dont think its necessary for you to purchase another shower gift, esp. if you are not in the financial position to do so.

Personally I think you are a saint for even going. I sure as S*&T would not show my face there.

But since you are going, I would not spend a whole lot of money on the gift. You can still get some nice clothes and not spend alot of money.

by the way, i do agree that you shouldn't spend that much

did she send you a gift when you got engaged

Of course she didn't send me a gift, she's broke, remember?

She didn't even give my FH, her brother a gift when he graduated college, and gave him some cutesy card about not having $$ for a gift.. meanwhile, her 31 year old (unemployed) husband is passing around a typed, itemized birthday list including an iPod, a DVD player for his truck, atattoo, and other expensive stuff (nothing under $250)....It infuriates me to no end!!!


I like the thank you idea, but it would really make me look like the bad guy. However, slipping a fewpacks of thankyous into the wishing well might not be such a bad idea.

What I really feel likedoing is giving her a picture of the $150 high chair I bought her last year, a filled out thank you note, a copy of my fortunoff registry and the help wnated section of the paper for the town where she lives....UGH

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Posted by marymoon


What I really feel likedoing is giving her a picture of the $150 high chair I bought her last year, a filled out thank you note, a copy of my fortunoff registry and the help wnated section of the paper for the town where she lives....UGH

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OOOOH I like that one MUCH better.

Yea, that's really bad. I didn't realize the first child was still so young.

Since I would get a gift when the baby is born anyway, I would probably split it and give a portion of it at the shower and the rest after the baby is born.

definately dont spend the same amount...
id probably pick out a couple of outfits(maybe $30 total)...
all she really needs is girl clothes after having a kid already...