finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

sweetadeline Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:50 PM

finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Hi all,

I have a friend who has had a lot of disappointing experiences with men. She has lived in NYC for about ten years and has occasionally dated people for 6-12 month periods, but has never really found someone she can call a 'boyfriend.' She's really looking for security and companionship (and fun, too!) but is having trouble meeting people.

She's tried a lot of the usual things people recommend: taking classes, going to the gym, getting set up with friends-of-friends, taking up hobbies, etc. The only thing I can think of that she really hasn't tried is online dating. I think she's scared of it.

My friend seems really down lately and I don't know what else I can tell her. She's normally a confident and outgoing person, so shyness probably isn't the problem. And I don't think she comes on too strong, either. Does anyone have any thoughts on good ways to meet a new mate in NY? I know this is a tough question.

Thanks all!

butterfly20 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:53 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

match.com has seemed to be succesful..
or maybe one of the girls on here knows someone for your friend...

Lunatrek Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:53 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Posted by sweetadeline

The only thing I can think of that she really hasn't tried is online dating. I think she's scared of it.

That's how I met my husband! (well, it was a long time ago and we met over Instant Messenger, not a dating service like Match.com, although I think those are great websites).

Tell her to give it a shot! I hear great things about EHarmony.com.

mrswask Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

If I were her - I'd prob try online dating. I don't know her religion but if she is Jewish she should def. do Jdate - right before I met FH - i was doing Jdate and I met a ZILLION guys! But then I met FH and that was it

I know quite a few people who have met online - she should try it - what has she got to lose!!

FeliciaDA Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I'd suggest that your friend try online dating ... don't think of it as strange. This is a misconception. Online services have gotten a lot better over the years.

Sure there are your share of wackos online, but that goes for most ANYWHERE (esp. in NY!)

And after meeting my own share of wackos on my own, online dating worked GREAT for me!! It's how I met FH!!

nrvbrd Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

nrvbrd Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:56 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Posted by nrvbrd

Not that this may be a good thing, but I know alot of people (myself included) who have met people that they work with. As I said this may get sticky though.

I used to be somewhat aprehensive about suggesting on line dating, but I have heard of so many success stories that now I am like- Why not???

HappyEverAfter Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:56 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I have a great friend too, shes beautiful and successful but hasnt met anyone in NYC. She has been on Match for a while, but has not met anyone to date long term. Anyone know any nice single guys? Maybe we should all be matchmakers

Personally I think online dating is great and would have done it myself if I was single.

sweetadeline Posted: Feb 18, 2004 05:01 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I'm glad to hear these online dating success stories... every time I suggest match.com (or similar) to her, she says 'no way.' Now I can go to her with some evidence that it can work!

Nvrbrd, funny you should mention the dating-someone-at-work thing. She tried that recently and things didn't work out. But I do know other people who've had better luck!

OctGroom Posted: Feb 18, 2004 05:21 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I met the FW on Match..
It took a while to meet her.. I tried it for a month or two in 2001.. then again at the end of 2001.. into 2002... I went on numerous dates. All first dates except for FW.

I had the longest streak of a first date and that was it .

Try E-Harmony or Match.

Just tell her.. if a guy sounds weird, he probably is. Good Luck to her!

ThongLori Posted: Feb 18, 2004 07:07 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

i have an adorable guy friend in need of a really cute, fun, smart gal!! He too has had bad luck meeting gals in NYC. FM me

Danielle&Scott Posted: Feb 19, 2004 09:05 AM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Danielle and I met on match.com. It is hard to find that person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, but your friend will. I think she should put a personal ad on match.com and also try matchmaker.com. Matchmaker offers a free 7 days for you to post an ad and email people. I met a few people on both sites before I met Danielle. I will admit that you will meet some scary people on line, but you just have to be careful.

Tell her to just do it. Take a chance. It will be worth it.

Lisa Rose Posted: Feb 19, 2004 09:21 AM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Online...Online...Online....worked for me!!

Betty Posted: Feb 19, 2004 09:43 AM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

My sister and some friends go to HurryDate in the city. They said you get a certain amount of time (myabe 5 minutes) talking to a guy and then they switch and you talk to a new guy. They haven't meant 'the one' yet but they say they have a lot of fun doing it.

sweetadeline Posted: Feb 19, 2004 01:33 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

That HurryDate thing sounds really intense! Wow!

Just wanted to thank everyone again for their perspectives... and ThongLori, you have fm!

ThongLori Posted: Feb 19, 2004 10:26 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Adeline -- FM back at ya!!

HearzBellz Posted: Feb 19, 2004 10:42 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I have heard that eharmony.com is good... also I second hurry date. A good friend of mine did this & had a great time. She had so many stories from one night!

StayandJohn Posted: Feb 19, 2004 10:44 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

I have a male friend who has the same problem. Maybe we could set something up

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 19, 2004 11:23 PM

Re: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in NY

Posted by Betty

My sister and some friends go to HurryDate in the city. They said you get a certain amount of time (myabe 5 minutes) talking to a guy and then they switch and you talk to a new guy. They haven't meant 'the one' yet but they say they have a lot of fun doing it.

One of my friends did this and met her FH at one of these events