Is there anyone else who's FH is their first and only love...literally. Neither my fiance nor I have dated anyone else before we found each other because we were both really picky and because of it we get a lot of 'comments' about how do we know we're making the right decision when we have nothing to compare it to. Even my dad said that as a man, he thinks that FH will spend his life wondering what else was out there, not exactly something I want to hear. We talked about how we each felt about being with only each other for the rest of our lives earlier on when we first started talking about getting married and neither one of us had a problem with it. Everyone seems to think that we're just silly children making some impulsive decision and that it's only puppy love and will probably die out before we actually get married and his mother makes this idea known every time someone asks her how she feels about the wedding. I know that we're young (FH is 20 and I'm 21) but we're not that young and it's not as if we have some history of impulsive romances that ended in heartache. I don't think that I have to go out there and date a million of the wrong guy just to double check that I have found the right one when I already know that he's the only one I want to be with. It really hurts and it's frustrating and I was wondering if anyone else is dealing with a similar situation or just knows a way to cope with it.
Snuggles
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
Chrissywish
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
Being that you both are young(not that I'm that old, but I do feel there is a different right of passage when you turn 21), I don't think anyone is meaning to say it in a hurtful way. I really think everyone is trying to look out for you two, they don't want you to rush just because you've been together for a while, and they want you to make sure that you won't have regrets. Some people need to date the world and sew their wild oats. Others dont. Fortunately your wedding is two years away, so you can give them some comfort in that, and say that we are going to take our time do this right and we love each other. However, don't brush them off. Stand up for yourselves and when someone questions it, give them the reasons you KNOW FH is the one. Tell them why you KNOW you don't need to look elsewhere. You have two years to have everyone on your bandwagon. So don't get hurt, but instead be open, understand where they are coming from and try to put yourself in their shoes, and show them what you see from your shoes!!!
Good Luck!!!
Snuggles
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
FH and I started dating when we were barely 15 and now we are 23 - i dont get those comments really BUT sometimes i worry that FH will feel like he missed out on something. . .
but there is really nothing i can do about that situation so i just try to have faith that if he is curious about whats out there - it will pass and he will realize that people wait their whole lives to find what we have in our first bf/gf. . . .
i have decided that you have to decide at the beginning of your engagement how you are going to handle people's comments about EVERYTHING involving the wedding. You can be quiet and ignore it and dont let it bother you OR you have to speak up and stop it before it gets worse. . .
personally i have chosen to just keep quiet - give out a few sarcastic answers here and there and just deal with - if it REALLY bothers you just speak up and let them know - people often dont think before they speak!
tdebe
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
It's become so frustrating because since I'm not one to keep quiet, I've already told people how I felt and so has he, but FMIL insists on letting everyone know that it's doomed for failure and I don't know how much to fight with this woman because she is his mom, but at the same time, nothing we say is sinking into her big fat head
However, It's nice to know that other people actually know how I feel (my friends are chronic daters and unfortunately of no help...lol). I do feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only one who's felt that tinge of worry and I appreciate the advice
jenn122397
Posted:
Member since
Re: First Love
Thats how me and my FH are. We've been together since right after I turned 15 and now we're getting married. Alot of my friends are in the same situation as us too. Don't worry about people's comments because if it's right for you guys then thats all that matters!
