FI's family is driving me insane.... (vent, long)

When an issue or disagreement comes up between you and your Future-In Law's who deals with it - you or your fiance?

We have had several disagreements with his family and it seems as if I am the one who has to always deal with them. This past week alone we must have argued about 5 different things related to the wedding, whether it was the guest list, the bridal shower list, his brother-in-law backing out as best man, his not even 1 year old nephew being at the wedding, etc. But I was the one who was always fighting with his mother. (which is because he has not been home when these discussion came up). I can't take it any more. I told him that he needs to speak to his mother from now on because I can't do it. Even asking her to put a bridal shower list together has turned into an argument.

I also can't stand talking to his mom because she is so negative about everything. We told her we booked our honeymoon - she says why are you going there - isn't that expensive, instead of saying - oh, you will have so much fun and another thing crossed off your list. And it wasn't just comments about the honeymoon - it is comments about everything. Why can't she just be happy for us?

Are any of you having this same issue?

YOU ARE MY SAVIOR!! Someone else going FMIL crazy!!!
I AM!!! and my FI just sat there..now he sticks up for me (thank goodness) it is sooo hard!!!..we stay at either my house or his...at his house we have teh parents comparing EVERY last thing to his sisters wedding..adn putting down all my ideas..and at my house we have my sister (MOH) who must be jeaous because she puts EVERYTHING we do as something negative and gets all snotty...but tehn when my FI sint around she is all wedding wedding wedding (she loves him..so tis not him) but i am RIGHT WITH YOU!

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Posted by cheshe

When an issue or disagreement comes up between you and your Future-In Law's who deals with it - you or your fiance?

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depends, who is more 'diplomatic'?

certain issues i expect FH to take care of, but if i think he is going to misrepresent something then i will take care of it in my own way. i can not really relate because i have yet to get into any arguments with my FIL's as i never let it get to that point. sure there are annoyances and i roll my eyes here and there to FH, but we are all family and we work through things accordingly...

I expect my DH to deal with problems with his family and I handle the problems with mine.

As for the honeymoon remark - there are people that are just negative by nature. For example, I work with this guy who cannont say one nice thing about anything. He once asked where I was going on vacation and when I told him, he replied 'Who on earth would EVER want to go there?' It was a trip to New Orleans, I wasn't going to a pig sty. It's just the way he is

my fh is handling that...

he is up in the air whether he will invite his jealous cousin, and if he does invite her, then hes not inviting her livin boyfriend.. there will be many issues, he told me he's handling it all, i told him 'just to confirm you know, i will not be brought into this, the guest list for your side is all your choice'... cause i dont want his family going to me, trying to get me to change fh's mind.. i completely agree with fh's standpoint..