Flower Girl vs. Junior Bridesmaid vs. Other?

Hey ladies,

So I'm in a bit if a pickle. I have three nieces, who at the time of the wedding will be 12. 9, and 5. The 9 and 5 year old are sisters. Now, the 5 year old will definitely be a flower girl and the 12 year old will definitely be a Junior Bridesmaid. I really want the 9 year old to be a flower girl (she's a tiny peanut too) with her sister, and I know I could, as the bride, lay down the law and insist she be a flower girl, but she's the sweetest little girl and I want her to be happy. I'm concerned that since she idolizes her big cousin, she may be jealous that she's not a junior bridesmaid and feel like a little baby as a flower girl. I haven't discussed it with her because I'm afraid once I open that can of worms, I'm going to have to make her a J. Bridesmaid if she asks.

Her mother, my matron of honor, agrees that she may be jealous.

I just really want her as a FG, but is there any magical position in between the two I could make her all on her own? Like...I dunno, flower maid or something? Anyone's input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

I wish I could offer advice. Unfortunately, I'm in a rather similar position myself...

FH's daughter will also be 9 at the time of our wedding. She asked originally to be FG (we didn't want to make any assumptions for the kids, wanted their input on what role they wanted), and we structured the bridal party that way. Just recently, she decided that since she has a 'grown-up dress' in the same color as the BMs, she should be a Jr BM instead.

We're not exactly sure what to do. We're thinking that we might just change her 'title' in the program and for the introductions. However, she seems to still want to scatter flower petals down the aisle and she'd be exiting the ceremony and entering the reception with her younger brother (the ring bearer), so I'm worried people may assume she IS a FG and refer to her that way, upsetting her.

I'm probably overthinking this, it's just so important to me that FH's kids are happy about the wedding and their place in it...

Good luck to you!

FH 13 year-old neice is jr BM. His 9 year-old is a flower girl. I thought she was too old to wear a white dress so she is in the same style dress as bm's but in a lighter shade.
The 2 younger girls will have straps and the adults will be strapless.

I am having a 12-year-old as a flower girl. I don't want kids at my wedding, but I do want a flower girl, and she already thinks that's what she's going to be. I don't even think she knows what a Jr bridesmaid is, so I'm good in that sense LOL.

I think if you're concerned, ask her which she'd rather be. Unless it makes much of a difference to you, in which case, it's your wedding, do what you want!

Another thought...

Would they even have dresses for junior bridesmaids that would be small enough to fit a 9 year old?