FMIL and picking the date......

Ok so most od you know that we may have to postpone and do 2010. With that, it is popular to do Thursday night weddings. Well our 5 yr anniversay will fall on a thursday, April 1st. It would be perfect!!!!! Good Friday is the next day, so my co-workers will have off and so will alot of other people. I know passover is then, it'll be the secong night but, I think my father's side, 5 people, can make it. But here is the deal..... it is the anniversary of his grandmother's death. By then it'll be 6 or 7 years. His mom side her side won't show up, she doesn't think they will show up any date we pick, they live in Calif. So what is the problem? I think it'll be good so that she can have happy memories instead of always sad ones that day. I'm sorry but, my father has passed and I would love to do it on his b day or even on his passing day... to make it a joyous day instead. AM I WRONG???? Help me, this will be out first fight over the wedding!
*** It also works out for me with work, we'll have off then and I won't have to worry about get the time off!!!*****

i think that it needs to be a mutual decision for the both of you... the date is a HUGE thing... much bigger than the flowers or colors or anything like that... so if he has even the slightest problem with it, i dont think it should be then.

but... if you explain to him how you explained it to us, i dont see him having a problem with it at all..

if you have jewish people that youre inviting, they may not come because of passover... especially if its the second night, its a seder night... so just be wary of that.

:)

---

Posted by mdawg

i think that it needs to be a mutual decision for the both of you... the date is a HUGE thing... much bigger than the flowers or colors or anything like that... so if he has even the slightest problem with it, i dont think it should be then.

but... if you explain to him how you explained it to us, i dont see him having a problem with it at all..

if you have jewish people that youre inviting, they may not come because of passover... especially if its the second night, its a seder night... so just be wary of that.

:)

---

I'm not worried about him it is his mother!!!! But we will be the ones to fight! As far as my dad's side of the family they always celebrate on the weekend cause it is easier for them, then to do it on those nighta that you really should.

I would consider a different date... I had to call FSIL first to find out if she was having her daughters batz mitzvah on the date I picked since its her daughters 12th birthday and they are jewish, but she told me not to worry about it... Plan the wedding b/c thats more important... Very nice of her right?...

Anyways... Passover is a huge thing. If you dont mind some people not showing up, then keep the date if thats what makes you and Fh happy!!! Worry about the 2 of you... the people that you want to be there will be there & if they arent, then you're prob better off without em

Easier said then done... Thats why I orginally said to consider another date

From my experience you will never make everyone happy. If FH is ok with the date then you need to just do it. I agree that it will be turning a sad day into a happy day and you can put a picture of her and your dad up with some nice flowers around it to honor them.

---

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I would consider a different date... I had to call FSIL first to find out if she was having her daughters batz mitzvah on the date I picked since its her daughters 12th birthday and they are jewish, but she told me not to worry about it... Plan the wedding b/c thats more important... Very nice of her right?...

Anyways... Passover is a huge thing. If you dont mind some people not showing up, then keep the date if thats what makes you and Fh happy!!! Worry about the 2 of you... the people that you want to be there will be there & if they arent, then you're prob better off without em

Easier said then done... Thats why I orginally said to consider another date

---

It's no the passover thing....I am more concerned because of FMIL and the passing anniversary date of her mother's death. I feel that something like that shouldn't stand in our way, not being a ***** but, I have lost my father and I am going to do things that will embrace my dad's memory and she should do the same. If will be 6 or 7 yrs after her death, not right away, that I'd be understanding about. We should have the date so it is a happy one instead of a sad one. Did that make sense?

---

Posted by lookitscassie

i think ur dads bday or his passing day is so sweet. my father is currently batteing cancer and they are saying he wont make it to the end of the year. that is going to play a HUGE part in if we decide to keep the day we currently have or not. thats why i havent booked anything yet

---

I am sorry to hear that, I hope everything works out for you.

---

Posted by dazies1011

It's no the passover thing....I am more concerned because of FMIL and the passing anniversary date of her mother's death. I feel that something like that shouldn't stand in our way, not being a ***** but, I have lost my father and I am going to do things that will embrace my dad's memory and she should do the same. If will be 6 or 7 yrs after her death, not right away, that I'd be understanding about. We should have the date so it is a happy one instead of a sad one. Did that make sense?

---

Yeah, I hear ya!! If the date works for you and FH, then dont worry about her.... I am sure she will be able to pick up the pieces and manage by the time your wedding rolls around... My mom's father died on her birthday so I know it all too well. Its something that pops into my head every yr on that date. Some things will never be forgotten, but it shouldnt be something that stands in the way of your and FH's happiness!