FMIL drama update -

normally my FMIL is nice, but the other day me and my mom went over her house to iron out some details of the wedding, such as # of guests, food, party favors, etc...

she was being a total b*tch about it!!! she kept ignoring and dodging my moms questions, we tried talking to her for a good 3 hours and we kept going on in circles....i dont know how my mom dealt with her and still was very polite and nice...i wanted to just scream and leave

i think shes going through that thing were shes like 'giving up her son' or she wont have him anymore... or whatever the case it...mind you i am always verry very nice to FMIL. but sometimes shes just so shady for whatever reason she has. And i am NOT bringing this up with FH because i refuse to argue/fight because of her... ive been there done that...it puts him in a weird position because he loves me alot i know and at the same time he loves his mom so i guess its hard for him to critcize any of us or say anything...
theres no point of talking back to FMIL , i should just let it go in one ear and out the other... the situations wasnt that serious...but if im asking her questions such as 'how many guests do you think you'll be bringing exactly' she slike 'oh i dunno i havent made a list yet. well see...'

WELL SEE? hello i need to know...theres table #'s CP, favors, i need to know...shes sooooo lazy and laid back..and FH has been bought up in this environment so i dont think he even understands...my mom is SO organized and meticulous about planning and doing things the right way...and i really tolerate FMIL, and ask her nicely repeatedly...now i feel like its almost as if shes not even acknowledging there is a wedding happenings. arghh i dont know...!!!

sorry i had to VENT..and write this all out...so i feel better a lil bit

UPDATE!!- i talked to FIANCE and told him how his mom barely seems to acknowledge the wedding and now when i try to talk about it she brushes me off, or asks me if i want some tea and runs in to the kitchen, and i said im really very excited and what to include her etc etc.. [really politely]...and he just stayed SILENT...hes like ' you over analyze everything' and than i just blew up...screamed, cried, and hung up... even though that was not my intention...


UPDATE - im on the brink of calling this wedding off...FH is being extremely rude and hurtful to me... he said he would never choose me and his family is everything ....

sorry babe. There's really no reason for the two of you to fight, try not to involve him in this that much. I recommend visiting her on your own and telling her you have deadlines, show her contracts and such and make her realize how imp her input is. Tell her things that will make her feel like she's part of the planning process and tell her that her son would really appreciate it b/c he's been so worried about all of these details etc.... :)

You're completely right in trying not to talk to him about his mom b/c it does put him in a very strange place and no one should go there. Imagine someone doing that to you...weird huh? He loves you both and can't say anything negative about either of you.
I say deal with FMIL on your own. Oh, and GOOD LUCK!

My FH and I just got into a thing the other day where he accused me of over analyzing everything. We were having an issue with things that his mom was saying and doing. It's like I told him, as a woman, I KNOW when another woman is purposely doing something/saying something with a double meaning and men just do not get this. If it's a guy saying something, then you can take it at face value because guys are not that complex, but with women, you have to look further because something that seems like a compliment on the surface, can actually be really mean.
All I can say is that FH has to be the one to talk to his mom to get to the reason why she's being this way. It'll be hard for you to talk to her without her getting defensive and she's his mom so it's only fair that he tries to smooth things over.

Mucho for you in the meantime.

sorry....I know sometimes FMIL can be really frustrating

dont worry mines is the samee

Im sorry to hear that you are dealing with that-there is no reason for her to be that way towards you-yet you know if you didnt talk to her about it she would be just as much of a b****

Dont let it bother you-you and FH should not have to fight about it, just explain to him that you cant help the way that you felt and there is no reason for him to freak on you