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FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

suzieqshs Posted:

FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

Rant/long. Calling all Brides, I need your advice!! My fiance and I found daisy guest soap favors online that we loved. We wanted the favors to be something functional yet a little different than the norm. We then started planning things around the daisy theme. Unfortunately,when we froogled them, we ended up with knock offs that don't look like the picture we originally saw. However, the ones we got are really pretty though so we decided to keep them. We brought them to his parents house to store until the wedding and decided to ask his mom what she thought of how they looked in comparison to the original picture.
The result of this innocent question was disasterous! In fact, we never even got to ask the question because as soon as she opened the box of favors she called us and went off on a tirade. The favors have a very mild vanilla scent that you actually have to put up to your nose to smell. However, when 115 of them are in plastic all together in one box, the smell is concentrated. She told me that the smell of vanilla gives her a migraine, these favors will ruin her day and not just her day but her sisters and her brother. Told me that not everyone likes the smell of vanilla and they cannot be anywhere near the food, on the tables or in the reception room at all!! She wants us to hand them out at the end of the wedding.
We were told by the reception hall that they can direct people to take one at the end of the night but might not be able to keep track of all the people who might leave at different times. Plus not every single person is getting one if they are a married couple, then the couple just gets one. And, not for nothing ,but they are really pretty and I don't want them passed over since they are what we based our wedding theme on!! I'm willing to place them in the lobby by the place cards at the beginning of the wedding but she is not ok with that either because then people will take one and enter the reception room.
It seems that she has now lightened up on the whole smell thing and her latest argument is that soaps should not be on a table where there is food. Mind you, they are wrapped in an organza bag. She says that it is tacky and that we don't want to give people something to speak badly about at our wedding. Both my fiance and I think that the whole thing is completely ridiculous and blown out of proportion. Please help me!! I'm going to print out your responses and show them to her.
neener1211 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

why don't you just re-wrap them in a box, with a nice little bow, so that they can't be seen, and no one can smell them?

They shouldn't be handed out at the end, bc like you said, not everyone will get one, and the people that are couples might wind up taking two.

I would just wrap them differently, and I am sure that the smell is not that overwhelming when they are by themselves....

good luck!
MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

wow! what a strong reaction....i think it's a bit overdramatic to say that vanilla soap is gonna 'ruin her day' as well as her siblings. her son is getting married, it's a joyous ocasion and she should be celebrating.....but oh no!!!!! there are soaps that smell like vanilla on the table....the entire EVENT is ruined!!!

bottomonline.....do what YOU and your FH want. you're the only two people who should finalize any decision concerned with this wedding, and if you want to put them on the table....then put them on the table.

oh and btw--if she has this strong a reaction to just FAVORS, be prepared for more drama as the time goes on...this is only the beginning!
suzieqshs Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

SHAMELESS BUMP, NEED ADVICE LADIES

bonniejd Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I don't know if you are really into the smell or not, but if not, maybe leave them outside for awhile and let them air out a bit, the smell should dissipate some. Also, IMO she is RIDICULOUS! of course they smell overwhelming when all in one box!

heatherandrichie Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by MJDoc12

wow! what a strong reaction....i think it's a bit overdramatic to say that vanilla soap is gonna 'ruin her day' as well as her siblings. her son is getting married, it's a joyous ocasion and she should be celebrating.....but oh no!!!!! there are soaps that smell like vanilla on the table....the entire EVENT is ruined!!!

bottomonline.....do what YOU and your FH want. you're the only two people who should finalize any decision concerned with this wedding, and if you want to put them on the table....then put them on the table.

oh and btw--if she has this strong a reaction to just FAVORS, be prepared for more drama as the time goes on...this is only the beginning!


Well said. When I hear these stories of how people react, I want to just punch someone It's you day, do what YOU want. Until you realize that, she is going to continue to push you. GL
TnOiOnL Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by neener1211

why don't you just re-wrap them in a box, with a nice little bow, so that they can't be seen, and no one can smell them?

They shouldn't be handed out at the end, bc like you said, not everyone will get one, and the people that are couples might wind up taking two.

I would just wrap them differently, and I am sure that the smell is not that overwhelming when they are by themselves....

good luck!

Exactly- wrap em in boxes...will look cute, and not smell so your MIL doesnt have another fit!!!
giggles62 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I would either wrap them in a box or leave them the way they are. It's you and your FI's wedding so you should do with them as you please. I agree with the above poster about the dramatics of it 'ruining her day'

Good luck
billandme Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by neener1211

why don't you just re-wrap them in a box, with a nice little bow, so that they can't be seen, and no one can smell them?




I agree!!
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

People have scented candles as favors all the time and to my knowledge it's never been a problem, so I wouldn't worry about the scent at all! Don't budge on this if you feel strongly about it. It's your wedding and you do what you want. I think the daisy soaps are a cute and creative idea!

SN2BMRSBURTE Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I agree with re-wrapping them, maybe you can find small boxes, they sell cheap ones at Michael's, and get some Daisy wrapping paper to wrap them in, that way they don't smell, and you can still go with the Daisy Theme.

lilqtpie2181 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I think that flipping out tlike that over the secnt ... not even the favor itself is a little far fetched.
She needs to realixed that the sent will not be noticable at all. I had linen smelling candles lit all ngiht the day of my e-party and you couldnt smell them at all.
As far as them touching the plate.. well to save urself that kind of headache u can just rewrap them in a small box. witha pretty ribbon.
Good luck. i hope u dont have any more issues like this.
vmystique33 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by heatherandrichie


Posted by MJDoc12

wow! what a strong reaction....i think it's a bit overdramatic to say that vanilla soap is gonna 'ruin her day' as well as her siblings. her son is getting married, it's a joyous ocasion and she should be celebrating.....but oh no!!!!! there are soaps that smell like vanilla on the table....the entire EVENT is ruined!!!

bottomonline.....do what YOU and your FH want. you're the only two people who should finalize any decision concerned with this wedding, and if you want to put them on the table....then put them on the table.

oh and btw--if she has this strong a reaction to just FAVORS, be prepared for more drama as the time goes on...this is only the beginning!


Well said. When I hear these stories of how people react, I want to just punch someone It's you day, do what YOU want. Until you realize that, she is going to continue to push you. GL




well said!! I agree
werock0709 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I wouldn't do S H I T to make her happy. Period!! It's your day, and you do what you had planned. Giver her, her sister and her brother some freakin aspirin for their migraines before they get em from your beautiful smelling soap. Screw that crap!!

Dee606 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!

I agree about wrapping them in boxes to eliminate some of the fragrance. It is your wedding & if you want them, you should keep them.

Something that I wish someone had told me from the beginning is not to ask for an opinion on something that I have my heart set on.
Dee606 Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by werock0709

I wouldn't do S H I T to make her happy. Period!! It's your day, and you do what you had planned. Giver her, her sister and her brother some freakin aspirin for their migraines before they get em from your beautiful smelling soap. Screw that crap!!



LOL - I agree
heatherandrichie Posted:

Re: FMIL DRAMA/PLEASE HELP!!


Posted by werock0709

I wouldn't do S H I T to make her happy. Period!! It's your day, and you do what you had planned. Giver her, her sister and her brother some freakin aspirin for their migraines before they get em from your beautiful smelling soap. Screw that crap!!

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