my FMIL has been showing me pics of dresses that she likes...they are all way too dressy...my dress is kind of plain and so are the bridesmaid dresses. I feel like shes going to steal the spotlight if she wears something like that. Am I wrong? Should I say something?
angl2001
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
i would ...ask her if she can tone it down a little cause you are going simple...hopefully she will understand! good luck
alissa5517
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
First you should know that no matter what anybody does or wears they CAN NOT steal the show from you. With that being said, I would just talk to her about wanting to keep it simple and toning it down.
debismom
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Posted by LCnAC
my FMIL has been showing me pics of dresses that she likes...they are all way too dressy...my dress is kind of plain and so are the bridesmaid dresses. I feel like shes going to steal the spotlight if she wears something like that. Am I wrong? Should I say something?
Alida, Debi had a bit of a similar issue. She gently suggested, it still wasn't received well, but, a relative of the 'person' in question, was helpful in helping her find a gown that Debi and the 'person' could live with. Hope you can read between the lines. PS The person isn't me. Mary MOB
debismom
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
Alida, does FMIL, really want a fancy dress, or does she think it might be what you want for her? Maybe she doesn't really know the expectations of what to wear. Mary MOB
PS Speaking from my own experience, and still no MOB dress, I can tell you I had no clue what to wear to a wedding in Long Island, let alone knew what Debi had in mind until we talked about it.
Espo22
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
I don't think she is trying to steal the spotlight. Everybody has different taste, the same way you like more simple maybe her taste is more dressy so probably thats the only reason she is doing that she is just going by her own taste. If you are having a problem with it then maybe talk to her
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
Posted by debismom
Alida, does FMIL, really want a fancy dress, or does she think it might be what you want for her? Maybe she doesn't really know the expectations of what to wear. Mary MOB
That is a very good point! Is your FMIL normally a dressy person? If not, maybe that is a way to bring up the topic - by saying something like 'you usually don't like such frilly / fancy / formal clothes - do you think you'll be comfortable in that?' If you have a good relationship wiht her, that is. Or maybe you can show her what your mom is wearing so she gets an idea / comparison?
kimandvin
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
You should def tell her. my mom and I went shopping for her MOB dress and My dress is not that 'out htere' so I told her to make sure she doesnt steal my spotlight.. Just tell her you think it shoud be more subdued since yuour moms dress wont be that dressy and you dont want HER to feel uncomfortalbe
Wifeynella
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id definitely try to suggest a few plainer dresses in the same style she likes and maybe she'll get the hint
roan126
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
I dont really think it matters all that much. People are going to be looking at YOU that day, not her.
My FMIL was looking at some pretty fancy dresses, but in the end I just wanted her to be comfortable and wear a dress she was happy with.
jen919ifer
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I don't thnk the spotlight could ever be stolen from the bride unless your FMIL lookes like shes 25, has an awesome figure, and her boobs are all over the place, so I would just deal and enjoy your day and your spotlight
Espo22
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i agree, i dont think anything can take the spotlight from the bride
bluegreen08
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
Posted by Espo22
i agree, i dont think anything can take the spotlight from the bride
I agree -- My dress is on the simple side. I like simple and elegant and not dresses with lots of glitz and beading and embroidery.
My mom on the other hand LOVES beading and sparkles. Needless to say we have pretty different taste.
My mom is young and slim and was afraid of looking like a bridesmaid. Her dress has beading, sparkle, and is really unique looking with a definite WOW-factor.
I was never worried about her upstaging me - she's my mom. Don't worry -- you're the bride!
Future Mulligan
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
i was a little worried to - my fmil is very pretty for an older woman and she does have expensive taste when it comes to gowns i feel like my gown is very plain as well as the BM dress i chose - i guess the look im trying to acheive for myself and the entire wedding is simple and elegant.....my mom also tried on a dress which i love on her - but its also on the plain side - which is perfect but i am a little worried that my fmil might pick something a little more extravagant - i know she wont do it on purpose, its just her style - i thought about it and like other girls said, nobody can out do the bride...im not really worried anymore and i am kind of excited to see what she picks out. i want everyone to look great. dont stress it - nobody will upstage you and your Mom....
anamaree77
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
I've learned that sometimes it's not WHAT you say but THE WAY YOU SAY IT. ((I'm not yelling, just emphasizing )).
I'd say, 'hey ma that dress is really pretty but I think you would look MUCH more beautiful in something simpler which wouldn't take AWAY from your beauty'.....and then show her some things that just make her RADIANT and GLOWING. I'm such a clown tonight....don't mind me.
madseason
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
I would have my concerns about the dress if i were in ur situation (if it makes u feel any better, FMIL HID her dress, no one cal see it until MY wedding day....) but like many of the girls have suggested, no matter what, she cant and wont be taking the spotlight from you.
What I feel she would be doing is drawing a negative attention towards herself. If it is a simple affair, and she walks in looking like a broadway marquee...its not going to be an array of ppl saying what a beautiful dress she has, rather, why would she wear that......u know what I mean.
Has she seen your wedding dress? Maybe you might want to share a picture with her. She might realize she is too overdressed...
and if she doesnt. its probably not worth fighting about....ppl are going to use YOU as the standard for dress and not with FMIL wears...save yourself one headache
Espo22
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Re: FMIL dress...problem
its weird bc with my mom i want her to get something extravagant lol. The one dress she wanted i thought had that wow factor, we went to go look at it again but they sold it. Now we can go to other stores to try it on, whichever ones carry jovani. BUT she tried on this other dress, the guy at the store brought it out for her to try and this is a really WOW factor dress, its very very different and i thought the previous one wasnt a typical MOB dress but this beats it. I love that about it though, and i personally dont care what others think hahaha, if my mom feels beautiful in it then thats what matters to me, i want her to look HOTT that day. We put a down payment on the dress she tried on last week, she said she'll think about it a little but she can use that deposit towards another dress if anything so doesnt matter.
