I am in a predicament. My FMIL wants to be involved int eh planning of the shower. Basically she is willing to do anything - from invitations to cooking - and she offered her house. I am expecting a small shower, probably around 20 people.
My MOH insists she doesn't want / need help, and that it not 'appropriate' for the FMIL to get involved. Bear in mind my mom is in another country, and will have no involvment in the shower.
MY FMIL is getting persistent. Every time I speak to her she asks me if my MOH needs help.
Does it really matter who does what?
NovemberSue
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
Your FMIL can help by making some favors. You can have more than one. I don't see anything wrong with her doing something. Obviously she's very excited and wants to do something. Several people helped put my bridal shower together. I think its really nice.
Thrilled
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
Dubliner - My mother lives in another state, along with 2 of my bridesmaids, inc the MOH and therefore cannot help with the shower planning to a large extent either. My FMIL has been my lifeline and total support with the planning of my shower (what I know of it, anyway). I would say, in the interest of peace, that your MOH should probably try to include your FMIL in some small way, especially because she wants so badly to contribute. At the end of the day, your MOH will probably welcome the help....
ChristineC68
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
I don't think there's anything wrong with your FMIL wanting to help. In fact I think it's really sweet. Can your MOH find some way to let her help?
dubliner
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
Thanks ladies. I feel better about asking my MOH to include my FMIL now. I really didn't know any better - whether it was ok to include her or not
MarcellaBella
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
It's entirely up to you sweetie.. My FMIL has been more involved than ANYONE else.. and as long as she's not meddling (which to be honest she was in the beginning, but I fixed that wagon), than it's ok..
michele31
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
I think that your FMIL is doing the right thing and deserves a chance to help. Having her cook a dish, or purchase a cake or make favors is not asking your MOH to give up control at all. Your Mom is in another country and your FMIL is trying to show how much she cares for you- why should anyone NOT allow her to help? Tell her MOH that you need her to speak with your FMIL and assign her a 'job' for the shower. It will mean a lot to your relationship in the future.
jennbaby
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
I think thats nice she wants to be involved as long as she doesn't take over!
Karen62794
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Re: FMIL invilvement in Shower
No, it doesn't matter. My mom and FMIL are planning and paying for my shower. The moms thought it would be nice to help my BP out in this situation, since it can get pricey.
Whoever wants to help, should be able to help regardless of tradition.
