FMIL Issuse.. help?

Hey girl,
Ok here is goes..

My r-dinner was suppose to be the night before the wedding at my FMIL's house a nice backyard bbq after the rehersal....The last day in June, only bc all of the bridal party would be coming out from the city and sleeping over in hotels or with me and mom's house or at my fh and I's Apartment. Hense easier for everyone for the day of the wedding for traveling reasons. Well this weekend FMIL calls us and says well i don't think i am going to have this dinner at my house. i mean i don't want 30 people in my house in my bathroom, can we have it at a place? I said sure if that is what you would like. (I am just making it easy on her i am thinking) FH last night says to his dad (Divorced from mom) mom is having it at _____ o ________ (a bar, i won't say name) now she did this without me. and i was like o no i am not having it there, fh said it is just a dinner why not? i said well first she did not even ask me, and the food is not that great, why should i have to settle to make her happy, i think i have done enough to help her.... so this is where it is for now...


now do i have a right to say where i want the dinner? or am i out of line? i am really like grrrr about this whole tihng...

PS she says to me well Nicole i don't even now why u are having it that night everybody is telling me that it SHOULD be 2 weeks prior.......

Help!!!!!!!!!!

Well I've never heard of the RD being 2 weeks prior, it's usually the night or 2 before or maybe 1 week prior.

As for the location, if she's paying for it then she def has a say. However, I think it's incredibly rude of her to just pick a place w/out getting your/ your FH's opinions on it. In the grand scheme of things I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, just grin and bear it. Figure it this way, it'll just make the food at the wedding taste that much better!!

Yes she is paying for it, but she did not offer i kinda just told her it was traddition, bc she did not offer for engagement party, wedding, or my shower..... it is a long long story on her let's just say everyone in her family calls her selfish

One - two weeks early seems a littel too early. Maybe a day or two before the wedding, but not two weeks. JMO. We're having our RD at a restaurant and FMIL asked me where I liked to eat and said where and she booked there.

Two - you do have a say - u don't want your stomach hurting from bad food the day b4 your wedding, esp. if you don't like it.

Three - if she is paying, she does have last word b/c it's her money, but try compromising if cost is an issue.

the way fh and i look at it:

Yes, they are paying for the rd and hosting it, so they should have some say. HOWEVER, ultimately it is YOUR decision..

Put it this way for those people who are having parents help pay for their wedding- are they making decisions on flowers and reception hall because they are paying for it? If your answer is no, then NO they should not go ahead and book the rd without you..

we just went through this with my FMIL.. FH had to lay it on the line for her, she just didnt understand. ugh.