FMIL Rant

Months after I was given a guest list from FH's parents and JUST as we were about to order invites, I'm told by FFIL that they need to review their guest list again. That was about three weeks ago...its still not done. That annoyed me a little, but no problem. Then yesterday, FMIL asks me if we're going for invitations on Saturday. I told her no. She told me that she set time aside to go do it, that I had mentioned I wanted to go that day (I don't remember, but whatever.) I told her we couldn't go anyway because we were still waiting on her guest list. She continued on about how she had set aside time to do this on Saturday. I kept explaining that unless we know how many invites we need we can't order them. I had to talk to her like a child 'Melody, you need to finalize your list anyway and get address together for when the invitations need to be mailed. You might as well do it all at once now rather than wait and order invites only to find we need more or have way to many.' Then she asks about save the dates:

Mel: Did save the dates go out?

Me: Yes, to my friends, family and my dad's friends.

Mel: Why didn't you send mine out?

Me: Because Howard (FFIL) told me not to.

Mel: Why?

Me: Because your list isn't finalized and you dont' want to send a save the date to someone you meant to cut.

So Melody continued on like this - I swear she is such an idiot - and finally I just sighed and said, 'Melody, all I'm asking you to do is make a decision on your guest list. I will take care of everything else. We can move forward once you make up your mind.' She continued to rant about this and Howard turned to me and said 'is it really going to make a difference if we wait another week ?' Of course not, I said. I thought the situation was dropped, but then Melody called me to repeat everything she had just said. Then she told me she wanted to send out the save the dates to a select group of people now because, and I quote: 'Their kids are getting married too and I keep asking when the wedding is and they don't tell me. I want to make sure they know when OUR affair is.' (Of couse they know - the people she was referencing are the parents of Justin's friends who are in the wedding party!) Interpretation: she just wants to make sure she gets invited to everything. She's already invited a woman to my shower who didn't even invite her to her son's wedding. Explain that.

I'm done with my rant. I don't understand how this woman ever got a masters degree. Deep down, I know she's a good person but she just keeps demonstrating her lack of intelligence to me.

I think your situation is pretty common. Lots of times, esp. groom's parents, will try to take the reins and do whatever it takes so that they feel like they're in control of the situation.

You would think that they would look back to when they got married and try to lay off, but all too often that isn't the case. I promise that I won't jump in and try to control my future kids' weddings. It's stressful enough to plan a wedding- when you add parents and family members adding their 2 cents, it gets to be a bit much and I understand exactly where you're coming from.

In my case, I told my FH to deal with his family and keep them in line, as it isn't my job to create additional tension with my new family. Besides, it sounds better coming from him. Good luck with everything.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Hopfully she will realize this is your day for you and your hunny and not hers. My FMIL keeps telling me that she is the mother and she should set things up.