FMIL RANT!!! (kinda long)

I know some people have the problem of their FMIL being overly involved, but I have the complete opposite...

So my FH is an only child, I am 1 of 7 children. Our moms are VERY different- my mom is very loving and caring, and his is, well, cold.

So I got the dress itch and decided I wanted to look at dresses. It's hard, bc all of my sisters/BM's live in different states, but we figured out a Sunday that all but 1 can come down and they were all so excited. I decided that, since I don't have the best relationship with FMIL that I would invite her to come along- I even picked a bridal store that was a minute from her house (bc FH's step-father has been sick for a while, so if she had to get home she is close) so that it would be easier for her.

A little back story, FMIL said that she really doesn't want to wear a dress otoour wedding, doesn't want her hair or make up done, and doesn't think she's going to stay for the whole wedding!!!! Oh, she also said she's not sure if she's going to make it to the rehearsal dinner bc it's 'pointless' and she recently has stated that she doesn't want to do a mother/son dance.

So back to the story, FH is on the phone with her and tells her that I would like her to come look at wedding dresses with me.... her answer......
'IT'S NOT REALLY MY THING, SO I'M NOT GONNA GO' WHAT?!?!?! I'm sorry b*tch.... it's not about you it's about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so upset and started crying, bc all I want is to have a nice relationship with her. My mom kept saying that she's probably jealous since FH is her only son and it's her loss... doesn't make me feel any better though.

I seriously give up on this woman- I am no longer including her in anything!!! If she shows up than cool, if not I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening ladies, I just needed to get this off my chest!!

My MIL had nothing to do with me and my planning. I invited and tried to involved her time and time again. I asked her to come dress shopping with me.. I also offered to take her dress shopping and I used to get so upset with how cold she was toward me and her own son. Now, almost a year after our wedding, I could care less about all that stuff. It will pass and will just bring you and your FH closer together.

Good luck!!

ekkk i dont get how parents dont want to be involved. My dad even asks me about my dress or flowers all the time and he has noooo idea what hes talking about but he just wants to be involved. One time we asked FMIL to come to look at the hall because they had a show case, she was bitchy because she got up early for work that day (boohooo) and it was late (it was 7pm). She bitched and told him she wasnt going, no point. I said are you serious? she hasnt been there its your ONLY sons wedding. Your first kid getting married. She not paying for it the least she could do was look at the hall. I just gave up asking and whenever something is done i just show it her. Dont let your FMIL ruin your day or your wedding plans. If shes cold or jealous she isnt going to change. Share it with your mother whos excited and when she starts to feel left out its her loss. (probably a bitchy approach but thats what id do. ;p)

btw she'll be looked at all day by everyone, if she wants everyone to say 'thats what the mother of the groom wore to her sons wedding' thats her call

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Posted by CarolAnn721

My MIL had nothing to do with me and my planning. I invited and tried to involved her time and time again. I asked her to come dress shopping with me.. I also offered to take her dress shopping and I used to get so upset with how cold she was toward me and her own son. Now, almost a year after our wedding, I could care less about all that stuff. It will pass and will just bring you and your FH closer together.

Good luck!!

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Thanks and I hope so! I actually had a convo with FH last night about how he should stop making so many excuses for her (he'll say 'that's just how she is') and maybe stick up for me and tell her that it's not all about her- I hope I got through to him!

I'm so sorry you are going though this

It's sad that a mother could be so cold to her future daughter in law and son. It seems like there is no happy medium with FMIL's they're either uncaring and uninvoled or psycho over involved.

I know its A LOT easier said than done, but don't let her ruin this time for you... if she doesn't want to be involved, in the long run it will be her loss not yours or your FH's. Enjoy this time with the people who DO care and DO want to be involved.

My new outlook is going to be to just leave her out of everything- if she wants to be involved she can ask us. I just wish it was different... I remember my relationships with my ex bf's mothers and it was great, I don't know why she has to be so selfish!! It's just so disappointing, but I'm grateful that I have my mom and 4 sisters behind me

i'm sorry she hurt your feelings but i would take it as a blessing that she is letting you do your own thing. TOO many girls on this site complain that their FMIL are overbearing control freaks!

both situations suck but i'd choose uninvolved over tooinvolved

makes you appreciate your own loving family~!

I completely understand what you are going through... but in my case neither MY mother or my FMIL are involved at all.

I occasionally throw a bridal magazine in her face and try to get her to be involved since she knows that my mother sucks and is not involved in my life at all... unless she is calling and asking for money that is :(

I am paying for the wedding on my own out of my savings...

I just decided that it is OUR day and that Justin and I are going to enjoy every minute of it despite all of the haters and family drama.

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Posted by LindsaylovesJustin

I completely understand what you are going through... but in my case neither MY mother or my FMIL are involved at all.

I occasionally throw a bridal magazine in her face and try to get her to be involved since she knows that my mother sucks and is not involved in my life at all... unless she is calling and asking for money that is :(

I am paying for the wedding on my own out of my savings...

I just decided that it is OUR day and that Justin and I are going to enjoy every minute of it despite all of the haters and family drama.

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I'm so sorry you don't have support on either side

I guess I should be thankful for my family and their support... and all of you ladies! It's nice to be able to talk about my concerns and have your support too

I didn't mean to rain on your parade... but my father said it best

'Lindsay, how many times in your life have you EVER heard anyone say... I am so excited to hang out with my in laws?'

Lol! I just have to repeat that to myself over and over again and then I just kinda laugh it off.

I just look at Justin and remind myself that I am marrying Justin, not marrying his family.

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Posted by LindsaylovesJustin

I didn't mean to rain on your parade... but my father said it best

'Lindsay, how many times in your life have you EVER heard anyone say... I am so excited to hang out with my in laws?'

Lol! I just have to repeat that to myself over and over again and then I just kinda laugh it off.

I just look at Justin and remind myself that I am marrying Justin, not marrying his family.

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VERY good advice! He sounds like a smart man

I'm gonna remember that one the next time I want to throw her out the window

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Posted by b2b2013

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Posted by LindsaylovesJustin

I didn't mean to rain on your parade... but my father said it best

'Lindsay, how many times in your life have you EVER heard anyone say... I am so excited to hang out with my in laws?'

Lol! I just have to repeat that to myself over and over again and then I just kinda laugh it off.

I just look at Justin and remind myself that I am marrying Justin, not marrying his family.

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VERY good advice! He sounds like a smart man

I'm gonna remember that one the next time I want to throw her out the window

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Seriously...does anyone out there have a 'normal' FMIL? LOL

My FMIL never EVER talks or asks me about my wedding! The only time she brings up the wedding is when she makes her 'requests' of what SHE wants. Never once asked me about my dress or anything. But yet she'll go on and on about HER dress and who's walking HER down the aisle. Believe me I understand how horrible it is to have a bad FMIL.

Oh and I forgot to add she wanted to wear a WHITE dress to my wedding, and then closed the door in my face when I agreed with FH about it not being appropriate! I hate her, I really do. I want nothing to do with her and only see her at family parties or holiday's.

I know it's upsetting bc you imagined having a great relationship with her, but eventually you'll realize it's not a big deal like I did. I have enough wonderful family and friends in my life to need her and I'm sure you do too