fmil - 'something blue' issue

sorry this is long

Hi Girls,
I don't often post but have definitely gotten a lot of help from people here so first off, 'HI' and 'thank you'
A new wedding issue came up last night and I was hoping someone might have an idea.

I was talking to my FMIL and she was telling me how she was talking to her sister who asked if I had my something old, new, borrowed, blue, so she tells me of course she has her something blue!!! and that she would work on getting me the other stuff by the wedding

1. Is it the fmil's place to get all that stuff or just a nice gesture? I already have all of that stuff planned out, a pearl bracelet from my mom, blue undies, my ering is old and new....
2. here is the real issue, the 'blue' item she is referring to is a ring of hers she gave me about a year ago...it is gold with a really big blue (tourmaline sp?) stone in it, it was a lovely gift but was never mentioned that i would wear it on my wedding day
it only fits my pinky, has a HUGE setting, and doesn't match any of my other jewlery, it would have to go on my pinky finger of my right hand next to where I was going to wear my ering for the ceremony......in a few words...it would look dumb

i told her i could maybe have it tied to my bouquet but she did not like that idea

what would you do?????

That is tough, she is probably excited to let you borrow it and you don't want to hurt her feelings. I think the idea of tying it to your bo-k is great - is there anyway you can convince her that you just aren't comfortable wearing it on your pinkie?

thanks, that is what i told her, either on my pinky next to my e-ring or in the bo-k.....i just know that my mom won't be happy with it on my pinky either, long story, but she feels like fmil is stepping on her toes a bit
she didn't get really mad that i didn't want to wear it, i can just tell she was upset and I don't want to hurt her feelings
oh well :( i can honor her some other way i guess

I'd just tell her the truth..that while it is a very sweet gesture, you already have all that planned out (and probably have for quite awhile).

And I like the idea of tying it to the bouquet....so maybe you can tell her that since the ring is so special to you, you DO want to have it with you and it would look nice attatched to the bouquet or something.

thanks girls, i tried to be straightforward with her right away and i said i am sorry but it realy doesn't fit and would look silly on my pinky....she is worried it would fall out of the bo-k but i might just surprise her with that anyway and ask her to wear it after the cermony so she isn't worried...
she is super religious and of course the ceremony is the most important part of the day so perhaps that will work
thanks again!!

My mom made a little purse with something old, new, borrowed, and blue for my SILs, BUT she never expected them to actually be carried / worn during the ceremony or any part of the wedding. It was just a cute little day of gift to have with them.

I think FMIL was just trying to be nice... but you shouldn't do it if you're uncomfortable doing so. Honestly, I thin your FH should tell her, gently, that you're not comfortable wearing it b/c you only want to wear your e-ring and wedding ring that day -- or b/c you want to wear only your e-ring, wedding ring, and another ring that means a lot to you and YOUR family.

HTH!

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Posted by Nina_m74

That is tough, she is probably excited to let you borrow it and you don't want to hurt her feelings. I think the idea of tying it to your bo-k is great - is there anyway you can convince her that you just aren't comfortable wearing it on your pinkie?

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I agree ~ I like the idea of tying it around your Bo-k ~ you can tell her you are afraid to have it on your pinkie and don't want to lose it since it was a gift from her and it means so much 2 u....