My future mother in law and I always seem to butt heads in regards to the wedding and my future husband. Basically she thinks that at 28, my fiancee is still 4 and she needs to tie his shoelaces for him. Besides that however, I think we're both stubborn people which is why we clash at times. Lately however its been really good. She has been very nice to me and not bothered me at all. Then yesterday out of the blue, while trapped in a car with her on the Palisades Parkway for 3 hours, she blurts out how disappointed she is that I'm not having a band at my wedding because DJ's are not classy! So basically my wedding will be trash because i do not have a band present! I was livid!!! She claims she has been to past weddings and the guests dont like dj's. Did she go around and take opinion polls of everyone? She is even like try to see if you can fit a dj and band in the room. NO! What part of i do not want a band does not compute! I mean come on already! Its ridiculous. I sound very bridezilla but its my damn wedding and i should have what i want and what my fiancee wants not what she wants. She had her day, now its our turn and we agreed we wanted a dj. Ughh!!!! Sorry girls just needed to vent my frustration.
twinkle164
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Re: FMIL vent
Sorry. I don't know why people are like that. Stick to your gun and do what you want. Good luck.
diva7531
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Re: FMIL vent
One: when people make a suggestion about what you should do at your wedding, tell them if they want to pay for it, you'll consider it
two: if they are already paying for it, tell them that it's not what you want
People in life, in general have opinions, that doesn't mean we always agree. Just let it all roll off your back in the next year people are going to have opinions, just let it all roll!!!
cindyandkevin
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Re: FMIL vent
I had a DJ and everyone loved it!!! As did many brides on this site. Tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Class is not defined by how the music at your reception is being delivered. It's how everyone conducts themselves, and your FMIL's behavior and attitude is certainly not classy.
You're not being a bridezilla at all!! Your MIL is just trying to run the show, stay strong and don't mind her.
ChristineAaron08
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Re: FMIL vent
First of all, DJs are no longer concidered unclassy (not sure if they ever realy were). Most people would rather have a DJ b/c sometimes (IMO) the original music is better. Every weddig I had been to with a band, was just OK.
My FFIL at first said 'hhmm- what about a band' and I said NO b/c we prefer having a DJ and a band cost so much more (from our research).
You are not being bridezilla at all!! It's your wedding and that's it. Does she want to give you the extra $ for a band?? If not, then oh well! You are right- she did have her day and this is now yours.
You have to put people in their places sometimes. You can try to do it nicely, but I know sometimes that doesn't work.
Good Luck!
SusiBtoM
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Re: FMIL vent
If FMIL wants to pay for a band and all the extra costs associated with having a band (i.e. vendor meals !) then go ahead and get a band.
Class has nothing to do with having a band or a DJ. Personally, I prefer a DJ, because I want to hear the music in its original version, not someone else's interpretation of it.
LoveRocks
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Re: FMIL vent
Sorry that she went off like that on you. Its YOUR wedding and I would go with a DJ like you had planned whether she thinks its classy or not.
yelley77
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Re: FMIL vent
You don't sound Bridezilla'ish' at all!!! it is your wedding... You can't take anything she says to heart if this is how she always is. If you and FH agreed on a DJ, then that is all that matters... When she opens her mouth, I'd just smile and nod!!!
luna bride x
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Re: FMIL vent
you're never gonna be able to make everyone happy. its just crazy. i've been so excited about looking for a wedding band.. and when i tell ANYONE.. they're always like 'ew why would you want a band?'
i give up!
cookiemonster
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Re: FMIL vent
There's nothing worse than hearing a 'wedding singer' mess up a song that you love. Having a DJ enables you to play the song by the original artist. Wedding DJs are really different than they were when your FMIL was going to weddings - they will really work with you to set whatever mood you want. It's not all noise and heavy bass and the MC screaming and them handing out inflatable giveaways (unless you like inflatable giveaways - i have at least one guitar somewhere in my house!!). Your wedding will be classy and beautiful - don't worry about her!
melissaandjoey
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Re: FMIL vent
Thanks for everyones support. She is totally impossible. First she wanted a ukrainian band since my FH is ukrianian. I was like well I'm not and its not fair to my family. THen she said a regular band, which she said she would pay for. However, 1) i do not want my room crowded by both a dj and band (as she thinks will be wonderful ) 2) i do not want a friggen band!!!! lol She loves to critique everything, this being the biggest thing though. When i set my date she told me that day was 'stupid' because since its memorial day weekend no one will come. I told her if people dont wanna be there then dont come, the people who want to share our day will be there. Then she tells me i cant have any married people in my bridal party because its bad luck. Suppossedly its a ukrianian superstition however no one else aside from my FH family has ever heard of such a thing. I've invited her to see the hall, she couldnt come because my father in law was replacing windows. What that has to do with anything i have no clue. Then i asked if she wanted to see flower samples and she was like 'umm no i will be surprised' . Now she starts with the dj again. I even offered to play ukrianian music during the night to satisfy her but still not good enough. Everything i want is either 'stupid' or ' not neccessary its just like showing off' bleh! lol
july06bride
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Re: FMIL vent
Does stress about what your FMIL wants...
Having a band is wonderful if you find a good one that you like but the cost is alot more than a DJ would be....
We have had fun with weddings with bands and Djs- and there has been a mix, none were more classy or less classy than another...
I would say okay...we will consider it, just to Shush her up and then as it gets ignore it, because you can't change it...
