FMIL Vent!

I told FH I wanted to know where FMIL stands with being involved in the wedding. She has barely acknowledged that we are getting married, nor asked to see the ring or anything like that. Last night FH and I went to visit his family. FH asked her how she wanted to be involved in the wedding and she basically just said she just needs to know what time to show up!!!! She just wants to be a guest. I feel bad for FH because he has a song planned out to dance with her and she is giving him a hard time on every single thing. I would personally be extremely hurt is my mother blatantly said to me, 'I don't want any part of anything, just tell me what time to be there'. W T F. My family is the TOTAL opposite so I'm not used to family not being involved in things like this. She makes me so mad!!!

Vent over

Aww...
That stinks, but you pointed out that the way your families are with things happen to be very different.
It's sad that she's giving your FH a rough time - especially if she's in the mindset of 'just tell me when to show up', you know? You can't have both! Either be a bit involved or not at all...but don't express criticism and then act passive towards the whole wedding.
Be happy that your family is involved a lot

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Posted by Soon2bShea

I told FH I wanted to know where FMIL stands with being involved in the wedding. She has barely acknowledged that we are getting married, nor asked to see the ring or anything like that. Last night FH and I went to visit his family. FH asked her how she wanted to be involved in the wedding and she basically just said she just needs to know what time to show up!!!! She just wants to be a guest. I feel bad for FH because he has a song planned out to dance with her and she is giving him a hard time on every single thing. I would personally be extremely hurt is my mother blatantly said to me, 'I don't want any part of anything, just tell me what time to be there'. W T F. My family is the TOTAL opposite so I'm not used to family not being involved in things like this. She makes me so mad!!!

Vent over

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I think its very strange that she said that... even if she is feeling that way, that isnt something you say to your son...

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

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I was going to ask if we could switch... but I wouldnt wish my FMIL on anyone... its just wrong!

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

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ita

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

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I was going to ask if we could switch... but I wouldnt wish my FMIL on anyone... its just wrong!

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HAHA! I'm not upset that she isn't up my a ss! trust me! But for the sake of her sons feelings on his WEDDING, I think she could at least act halfway decent and just smile and say congrats to us and whatever.

Wow... I am so sorry... that is very hurtful

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Posted by Soon2bShea

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

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I was going to ask if we could switch... but I wouldnt wish my FMIL on anyone... its just wrong!

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HAHA! I'm not upset that she isn't up my a ss! trust me! But for the sake of her sons feelings on his WEDDING, I think she could at least act halfway decent and just smile and say congrats to us and whatever.

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ITA... its not ok that she is acting like this... does she have daughters? has she ever planned a wedding?

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by Soon2bShea

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

---

I was going to ask if we could switch... but I wouldnt wish my FMIL on anyone... its just wrong!

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HAHA! I'm not upset that she isn't up my a ss! trust me! But for the sake of her sons feelings on his WEDDING, I think she could at least act halfway decent and just smile and say congrats to us and whatever.

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ITA... its not ok that she is acting like this... does she have daughters? has she ever planned a wedding?

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Yes she has a teenage daughter...no she hasn't planned a wedding. She exhibits this obnoxious behavior to everyone, not just me and FH, so I am sure she will be this way when her daughter gets married.

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Posted by Soon2bShea

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by Soon2bShea

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Aww sorry hun

Some girls would kill to have their FMILs not be involved...however I understand it is disappointing...Maybe she will come around, give it some time

---

I was going to ask if we could switch... but I wouldnt wish my FMIL on anyone... its just wrong!

---

HAHA! I'm not upset that she isn't up my a ss! trust me! But for the sake of her sons feelings on his WEDDING, I think she could at least act halfway decent and just smile and say congrats to us and whatever.

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ITA... its not ok that she is acting like this... does she have daughters? has she ever planned a wedding?

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Yes she has a teenage daughter...no she hasn't planned a wedding. She exhibits this obnoxious behavior to everyone, not just me and FH, so I am sure she will be this way when her daughter gets married.

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Thats just her personality then, thats even more annoying that you have to deal with it all the time... i feel bad for her daughter when she gets married

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Posted by Soon2bShea

I told FH I wanted to know where FMIL stands with being involved in the wedding. She has barely acknowledged that we are getting married, nor asked to see the ring or anything like that. Last night FH and I went to visit his family. FH asked her how she wanted to be involved in the wedding and she basically just said she just needs to know what time to show up!!!! She just wants to be a guest. I feel bad for FH because he has a song planned out to dance with her and she is giving him a hard time on every single thing. I would personally be extremely hurt is my mother blatantly said to me, 'I don't want any part of anything, just tell me what time to be there'. W T F. My family is the TOTAL opposite so I'm not used to family not being involved in things like this. She makes me so mad!!!

Vent over

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Umm I have the same situation.. She knows nothing and doesn't ever ask. And I know she won't.

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Posted by His future Mrs

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Posted by Soon2bShea

I told FH I wanted to know where FMIL stands with being involved in the wedding. She has barely acknowledged that we are getting married, nor asked to see the ring or anything like that. Last night FH and I went to visit his family. FH asked her how she wanted to be involved in the wedding and she basically just said she just needs to know what time to show up!!!! She just wants to be a guest. I feel bad for FH because he has a song planned out to dance with her and she is giving him a hard time on every single thing. I would personally be extremely hurt is my mother blatantly said to me, 'I don't want any part of anything, just tell me what time to be there'. W T F. My family is the TOTAL opposite so I'm not used to family not being involved in things like this. She makes me so mad!!!

Vent over

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Umm I have the same situation.. She knows nothing and doesn't ever ask. And I know she won't.

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Is there a official thread about uninvolved FMIL's?

that's sad that she's acting like that....even if she felt that way, to say that to her son is harsh!

planning a wedding sometimes brings the best and the worst in people...hopefully your FH isnt too bothered by what she said and you guys can just plan it without her input!

by the way....i wish it could be just me and FH planning ours..=(...i hate all the opinions from FMIL and my mother!!!

my FMIL was the same way, not that bad, but still very similar. when we came to her right after getting engaged and brought champagne, she congratulated, asked to see the ring and thats that.
but then each time we saw her I would mention something little about the wedding: asked her to come for the tasting, asked help with teaching us how to dance the 1st dance (shes a dancer), kept mentioning how much my parents are excited and love my FH already w/o ever meeting him. and now she is awesome! she asks how the wedding planning are going, what else is left to do, suggested to pay for some vendors. and all of this w/o me ever mentioning anything wedding related.
I dont know if this will work w/urs, cause she sounds to be just that kinda person that doesnt care, but this is just a suggestion.

I do feel bad for ur FH. my family is like urs, so for me too this and ur FMIL's behavior is very foreign

Congrats on making 1000!!

We are in the same boat. FMIL every week comes with a new excuse of why she cant look at any of the things we have done or tells us she is not coming.

I try to remind FH that the day about us. This day will be one of the best days in our lives and we cannot let people who are not as motivated hurt that.

Good luck and I am here to talk if you need to!

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Posted by mbscheer

Congrats on making 1000!!

We are in the same boat. FMIL every week comes with a new excuse of why she cant look at any of the things we have done or tells us she is not coming.

I try to remind FH that the day about us. This day will be one of the best days in our lives and we cannot let people who are not as motivated hurt that.

Good luck and I am here to talk if you need to!

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Thank you!! same here!