I get along with my FMIL...I know she doesn't hate me. I lived through that first hand with my gma (dad's mom) who absolutely hated my mother, but she has been upsetting me so much lately with the wedding planning.
We were at a family party yesterday and everyone was asking about my wedding, how the planning was going, my dress, DOJ, vendors, etc. And EVERY time I would say something she would have to chime in about how amazing her dress was and how everyone who saw her in it thought she looked gorgeous and how perfect all the jewelry she got goes with it and how elegant the shoes are and blah blah blah. No matter what I said she was just ignoring me or blatanty saying she didn't really like it and how much better hers was. Why the heck is she in competition with me, this is insane. She already had her day...let me have mine!!!!!
I am so upset because I am so excited about everything for my day and she's ruining it!!!
UGH Sorry for the long vent, I am just so upset.
O and to make it worse I have been asking for her final guest list for over a month now and she still hasn't gotten it to me!!!!!
M_Berk-Glenn
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Re: FMIL Vent
Sorry you have to put up with this. Maybe FH can have a talk with her abt what shes doing
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: FMIL Vent
Ah, the competition-loving FMIL.
One thing I like to say is that there's a reason why 'FMIL' and 'FML' are such similar acronyms.
She's in competition with you because her son will now forever have a woman who is #1 in his life that is not her, and she can't deal with it.
My advice - I am always in this situation with mine - is to not react at all. She wants a reaction from you, so don't give it. Let her say how great she looks in her dress, blah blah blah. Other people will see through her behavior. I'd also try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum when she's around...people will be asking, and you can be vague and change the topic. Trust me, there will be a point where you won't want to talk about it with other people anyway, because they'll all start to offer their opinions and critique.
Never feed into it...that's what they want.
Ray8183
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Re: FMIL Vent
Everytime she cut in, that is when you ask for the guest list. Yes, in fron of everyone.
Lady12
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Re: FMIL Vent
That S U C K S. I find that when I talk about my wedding plans people tend to talk about their own wedding, but if she is putting your wedding down, that is not right. I would express how you are feeling to FH if you dont feel comfortable talking to her about it.
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: FMIL Vent
Posted by Ray8183
Everytime she cut in, that is when you ask for the guest list. Yes, in fron of everyone.
Great minds think alike...I was just going to edit my post and write that!
Yep, just say sweetly 'while we're on a wedding-related topic, I would like the guest list as soon as possible so we can being ordering the right amount of invites/STDs/napkins/favors'
Muahahaha.
es2189
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Re: FMIL Vent
i'm so sorry!!! that *****!! if anything it's my own mom i'm having trouble with in this department. she doesn't seem to realize that this isn't her day!!
Lady12
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Re: FMIL Vent
Oh and as for the guestlist, I would give her a deadline and let her know that after that date, you wont be able to guarantee that all of her guests can be invited. I know it sounds a little bit*hy but if you do it in a nice way, and put your foot down she wont keep dragging it out.
Future Mrs P
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Re: FMIL Vent
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
Ah, the competition-loving FMIL.
One thing I like to say is that there's a reason why 'FMIL' and 'FML' are such similar acronyms.
She's in competition with you because her son will now forever have a woman who is #1 in his life that is not her, and she can't deal with it.
My advice - I am always in this situation with mine - is to not react at all. She wants a reaction from you, so don't give it. Let her say how great she looks in her dress, blah blah blah. Other people will see through her behavior. I'd also try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum when she's around...people will be asking, and you can be vague and change the topic. Trust me, there will be a point where you won't want to talk about it with other people anyway, because they'll all start to offer their opinions and critique.
Never feed into it...that's what they want.
HAHAHAH I never thought about the FML before, that is definitely what I am thinking everytime she does this!!!! I was trying to be nice and include her in everything but not if I am getting this kind of crap. I am definitely going to start sharing less. Even though I really just want to punch her in the face when she starts dismissing MY wedding!!!!
Thanks so much ladies!!!!! I don't know what I would do without you
Kimbiz1
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Re: FMIL Vent
We should get together, so much in common except for the guest list part. She wants to invite people who she's seen less than a dozen times!!!
Kimbiz1
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Re: FMIL Vent
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
Ah, the competition-loving FMIL.
One thing I like to say is that there's a reason why 'FMIL' and 'FML' are such similar acronyms.
She's in competition with you because her son will now forever have a woman who is #1 in his life that is not her, and she can't deal with it.
My advice - I am always in this situation with mine - is to not react at all. She wants a reaction from you, so don't give it. Let her say how great she looks in her dress, blah blah blah. Other people will see through her behavior. I'd also try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum when she's around...people will be asking, and you can be vague and change the topic. Trust me, there will be a point where you won't want to talk about it with other people anyway, because they'll all start to offer their opinions and critique.
Never feed into it...that's what they want.
Could you PLEASE keep reminding me of that!!??!! Maybe I should have you record it as their ring tones. LOL
futuremrsjc2010
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Re: FMIL Vent
Posted By Message es2189
Re: FMIL Vent
i'm so sorry!!! that *****!! if anything it's my own mom i'm having trouble with in this department. she doesn't seem to realize that this isn't her day!! _______________________________________________
Im sorry your going through this i would definitely tell FH to have a talk with FMIL.
@es2189: OMG im going thru problems with my mom too. She had the nerve to tell me that i she is not giving me any address of any old ppl. She said she doesn't want old ppl @ the wedding. Is she effin kidding me???? How rude is that?? Shes acting like its her wedding
