FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Sassy Posted: Feb 16, 2003 12:23 PM

FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

FMIL is sitting there inviting ALL her friends like this is HER wedding !!!!!!
I told her flat out this morning, that we are NOT adding not ONE more person to this list.
She goes and gives her friends our wedsite address and then says, 'but they signed your guest book'
W T F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't tell her to go around opening her big mouth and tell HER friends that we don't even know who Len doesn't even remember to go on our site and sign our darn guestbook. SO what - does that mean we have to invite them b/c they have seen our site?
NO WAY !!!!!!!!! I told her just to tell them we can't afford to invite anyone outside of close friends/family.
BTW, FMIL just had her birthday party, and spent a lot of money, and we never received an engagement gift from her, nor a Christmas gift this year (she cried broke b/c of her party) and no promise to help us pay for this wedding, I am too through with her.
Thanks, I needed to let that out, I feel soooo much better. But will not change my mind. This bank is closed for business

sn00k4 Posted: Feb 16, 2003 12:32 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Don't you just hate the politics surrounding weddings? Sorry you have to go through all this craziness with your FMIL...
If it were me... i would tell her straight out that I don't have the money... if she wants those people invited... she should give you the money before the invites go out... you'll see how quickly she is to include anyone else...
Just think... in a couple months all this chaos will be done...! Hang in there...

lilmrs Posted: Feb 16, 2003 12:47 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Hang in there Liz! Stand your ground! If she tried to invite one more person anyway...say ok...that will be (insert price per person) will you be paying us through cash or writing us a check. If she argues with you tell her they only way that person is coming is if she pays for them! Hopefully that will do the trick!

Julybaby Posted: Feb 16, 2003 12:50 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

I'm sorry you have to put up with this. This is so frustrating. I agree that if she wants to invite more people, she needs to give you the money up front and if she gives you a check, the check needs to clear before the invites go out. It's so easy to invite your friends when you are not paying a dime for the wedding!

GregsLove Posted: Feb 16, 2003 01:21 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

We're going through some of the same stuff, but we're not letting it get to us. FMIL/FFIL don't live around here (South Carolina), and they don't use their $$ too well. FSIL is having a baby next month and FMIL has supposedly opened up a savings account to put money away for baby gifts and to help us with the wedding (this is all behind FFIL's back). But when we asked for a list of IMPORTANT people that they want invited, she starts saying that she wants all these old friends that she USED to work with. Then, when we said that WE wanted certian family members that we haven't seen in awhile (and that we really like) to be there, she says that we have to invite all these other people that are related to them too. (like that persons mother and her sister, etc..but they are people that we really don't know). So anyway, we told her NO, and if some other people revp 'no', then we will send the others invitations. It's as simple as that. FMIL/FFIL still haven't given us ANY $$ (and they JUST bought us an engagement present we got engaged in Dec 2001!). So, until they give us some $$ they are NOT having a say in all these other people. We're inviting ALL of the close family/friends, but we're not inviting all of her friends that we don't know and cannot afford unless she gives us some $$.

Just keep your cool and do it YOU way. It's YOUR day..NOT hers!

Good luck!

June
4/18/04

christy Posted: Feb 16, 2003 01:28 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Liz,
I think we may have the same FMIL!
Mine added 30 people to our guestlist and said she will pay for her friends only if she keeps the gifts they give us! ***!!!!!
Now, she is saying she cant afford her friends, (how conveinent since the invites just went out)! She has not given us one dime for our wedding, she said she would pay for the e-party and RD, well we paid for our e-party and now we are on our own for the RD!
I feel like calling her friends and telling them to rip up the invite because they are not coming!
If you ever need to vent let me know girl! Stand up to her as best you can! THIS IS YOUR WEDDING!

nrvbrd Posted: Feb 16, 2003 02:02 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Liz, this is YOUR wedding remember that.

She has no right to do what she is doing and it is up to you to tell her so.

From the beginning I told both sets of families that since we are paying we are inviting who WE want.
We will take into consideration some of their friends but their is a limit.

You have to make her realize that.

Let us know how it goes.

avesur Posted: Feb 16, 2003 02:43 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

I hate when relatives do that!!!
Put your foot down! IT IS YOUR WEDDING!!!

Latina511 Posted: Feb 16, 2003 03:47 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

You do what you have to do. Your paying for it and its your wedding, invite who you want to invite. Just make sure you keep your foot down. Also have your FH talk to her to and let her know.

112903 Posted: Feb 16, 2003 04:19 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

I agree with everyone else....Put your foot down and ask her for the money before invites go out!

wacky Posted: Feb 16, 2003 06:37 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Liz calm down, I told you dont get stressed just lay down the law.

Thats it. I had the same problem with FMIL, I told her if she would like to help out that would be great. Needless to say she hasnt had much to say

Diane Posted: Feb 16, 2003 06:47 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Let her know that if she wants to invite HER friends, tell her she will have to pay for them. She has some nerve. Maby your FH can talk to her??

Good Luck

natasha Posted: Feb 16, 2003 06:53 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Go girl. Put your foot down. Now you have to keep it down. If you don't every Tom, Dick and Harry and every Mary, Sue and Jane will be at your wedding.

Buttafli1277 Posted: Feb 16, 2003 06:58 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

You should tell her NO MORE that's it. That's what I basically told my FMIL. I originally wanted only 165-170 people at our wedding now our list is up to 240. My family and I added a few more people, but she added alot more. That's enough!

Cindy Posted: Feb 17, 2003 01:56 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

We had the same problem. We had over 200 people invited to our wedding and MIL kept calling to add more. My husband told her no. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves and absolutely no help from family, then that family should not be calling to add people and finances to a wedding that is costing enough already

shamma Posted: Feb 17, 2003 02:28 PM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Liz, do you want me and hubby to give up our spot to her for her friends??......NOT, girl this is your day and you should have who you want there. Don't add anyone else, unless she is paying for them that is. Feel better.

shamma Posted: Feb 18, 2003 09:27 AM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Liz, did you tell her no, or did you let Len do it. I think sometimes hearing the news from the 'son' usually makes it easier.

eroxgirl Posted: Feb 18, 2003 09:30 AM

Re: FMIL vent.....Ugh.........

Stand your ground Liz....if she wants anymore people invited, tell her to write you a check for $xxx per head (don't forget 18% gratuity and 8.5% tax) and only AFTER THE CHECK CLEARS will you send the invitation! People have a lot of nerve!