I'll try to keep this short. I decided that we should get FMIL something special for Christmas this year. I picked out a necklace at Fortunoff and FH agreed that she'd love it. I was honestly so excited about giving her this gift. I truly thought she'd be touched and would treasure this 'something special' from her son and FDIL.
I could tell when she opened it that wasn't the case. She said she liked it, but you know when you can just tell?
Anyway, yesterday FH told me she called him and asked if we wouldn't mind if she took the necklace back and exchanged it for some earrings. I feel pretty hurt by this and told FH so. He agreed but got a little defensive because he's in the middle. We made up and he feels bad for me since I was so excited about the present.
So now I'm not sure how to react when she shows me the earrings she gets. I am hurt, but I know I can't really say anything. Any advice?
suven
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WinterBride2005
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Re: FMIL woes
Maybe, it's just not her taste... or maybe she really doesn't need another necklace. Do you think she is returning it to hurt you guys intentionally?
My brother bought me a beautiful bracelet one Christmas. I ended up returning it for earrings because I wear earrings. I don't wear bracelets. He was totally understanding and preferred that I get something that I would use rather than let sit in my jewelry box.
shamrock12472
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Re: FMIL woes
I wouldn't take it so personally. She may just prefer earrings because she will wear them more often and think about you two. Plus, wouldn't you want her to have something she loves instead of something she kind of likes?
lillian771
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Re: FMIL woes
Posted by WinterBride2005
Maybe, it's just not her taste... or maybe she really doesn't need another necklace. Do you think she is returning it to hurt you guys intentionally?
My brother bought me a beautiful bracelet one Christmas. I ended up returning it for earrings because I wear earrings. I don't wear bracelets. He was totally understanding and preferred that I get something that I would use rather than let sit in my jewelry box.
She says she wants earrings so she can wear them every day, and that she already has a necklace. Although I have more than one necklace and don't think its strange! BTW...its a white gold necklace w/ a circle of small diamonds and a small heart diamond pendulum in the middle. What's not to like?
Anyway, thanks for your support. I'm pretty sensitive about things like this...I'm a senta-mental person but I'll get over it!
justshir
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Re: FMIL woes
don't feel upset about it. you two just have different tastes or maybe she had her eyes on a pair of earrings she might have seen there. getting gifts for people is sometimes hard. and for a person like myself i am very hard to find a gift for. lemme tell ya.. i've gotten my fair share of scarves, photo albums and stuff (they thought i would love) that i've just tossed aside just collecting dust in the meanwhile. and when spring time rolls around i toss them out. i know to some people currency or gift certificates may seem impersonal but it's perfect for me! - especially money! it's def something i can use toward the wedding! so don't be sad about it.. it's jsut a matter of preference. so buck up, bride-to-be! the new year's right around the corner! happy holidays!
curliegirl
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Re: FMIL woes
FMIL and I have completely different tastes, I'm exchanging some of the gifts I received from her, and sometimes she returns mine.
We can't get upset because we know we are so hard to shop for.
Maybe you could go with her when she exchanges, so you can get an idea of her taste for the next gift. And this will reduce any tension.
Marisa M
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Re: FMIL woes
Think of it this way - Do you want to spend all of that money on something she doesn't really care for ? Wouldn't you rather her wear the earinng and when asked be able to genuinely say 'Aren't they beautiful 'Son and FDIL' gave them to me for Christmas !!!' - I'm sure she appreciates the gift, but the necklace just may not be her taste. Jewlery is very personal and difficult to buy for someone else. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Don't take it personally, You gave her the gift of her new earings. - Who cares if she picked them out herself, they're still a special gift from you and FH .........
leighdvm
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Re: FMIL woes
How I would react would depend on my relationship with her. If she was a total witch and she hated me, then I would be pissed. But, if I had a good relationship with her, I would try not to take it personally.
12-3Princess
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Re: FMIL woes
if you want to hear about REAL fmil woes . . .
blushingbridetobe
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Re: FMIL woes
Personally I think that is rude. I would never drem of exchanging a piece of jewelry bought for me by my parents. How ungrateful - next year just get her some UGLY pajamas instead!
lillian771
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Re: FMIL woes
Posted by blushingbridetobe
Personally I think that is rude. I would never drem of exchanging a piece of jewelry bought for me by my parents. How ungrateful - next year just get her some UGLY pajamas instead!
Thanks blushingbride...you and I share the same thoughts about gifts of jewelry. I would never dream of exchanging a piece bought for me either! Oh well, you live and you learn I guess!
LuckyMe
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Re: FMIL woes
I know how you feel at least she doesn't come straight out and say well what am I supposed to do with this or hide it in the attic or a closet like mine does. When you see the earrings just consider it the gift you gave her and be sure to point out to everyone how beautiful the earring you got her for christmas are!!
