Please help me, i dont want to be rude. My FH grandma has been old and sick for a long time and it was only a matter of time before she passed. This past weekend she did pass on His mom is obviously very very upset, but due to the fact that my FMIL has spent all of her spare time for the past 3 months with her mother, she hasent done anything for the wedding. And now we are 3 and a half months away and she still didnt go dress shopping yet nor has she finalized that side of the family's invites. I have to send out the invitations in 3 weeks and she is in DR for the funeral for the next two. So when is a good time to remind her that there is still stuff that we need to do? I dont want to be insensitive but i am at a standstill with the planning????
Blu-ize
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
You're going to hve to give her some time She can get a dress pretty quickly but the invite thing is more pressing. Can you set up the invites for who you know is definitely going to be invited, them maybe next week talk to her about that. I wouldn't lay everything on her all at once. Even though FH's grandma was sick this is till a shock and it will take her some time to get her head together. Just a thought, maybe next week call her up and invite her to lunch and some shopping. It will get her mind off of things and give you a chance to get her more involved. Good luck and I'm sorry to hear about Grandma
Bunnymonkey
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
Is there anyone else that can give you the adresses? A sibling?
I think the dress should be the last of your concerns, I wouldn't ask her about that.
Why do you have to send the invites in 3 weeks? It looks like you have a bit more time than that. no?
takeoutcook
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
give her the time that she needs.
jimmysgrl
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
I'm sorry, I'm with them. Although I know its totally frustrating that she's waited this long, unfortunately, its going to have to be a little longer. The last thing she is going to be thinking about is the wedding and she probably doesn't need to, she needs to go through what she's going through. Maybe have your FH go over to her house and get the addresses himself and just let her know that he understands that its a hard time for her and that you two don't want to put anything more on her.....
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
I dont want to sound rude but Her mother just died finding a dress for your wedding is probably the last thing on her mind....try and be patient
germai68
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
Posted by MamanDaddyof2
I dont want to sound rude but Her mother just died finding a dress for your wedding is probably the last thing on her mind....try and be patient
I have to agree. No matter how sick someone is, it still really hurts to lose your mother. Put yourself in her shoes. Just give her the time that she needs. Wait to ask her anything until she gets back from the funeral.
Latrice
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
Posted by germai68
Posted by MamanDaddyof2
I dont want to sound rude but Her mother just died finding a dress for your wedding is probably the last thing on her mind....try and be patient
I have to agree. No matter how sick someone is, it still really hurts to lose your mother. Put yourself in her shoes. Just give her the time that she needs. Wait to ask her anything until she gets back from the funeral.
I would have to agree as well. You have to have some empathy and place yourself in her shoes for a minute and ask yourself those same questions. I am sure you would appreciate the time it takes for one to mourn and grieve the loss of a loved one...especially a Mother.
meredith24
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
I had full intentions of not bringing it up for a few weeks- but i just didnt know when was the right time. Im not a beast, im not just going to prance over next week and ask for the list. I was just asking with all things concidered when was the right time to approach the situation.
ssbride05
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
I would also have to agree.. give her some time.. don't worry about the dress. Maybe you can ask her next week or look to another family member to get you some addresses. I am sorry for the loss as well!
good luck
JacnRob729
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
many people get married very quickly....therefore many mothers do not have months to pick out their dresses....so there is time for her to pick out her dress....im sure in the back of her mind, she is stressing about it too, but obviously it was not her main focus for the past couple of months (as well it shouldnt have been) She most likely will say something about it when the time is right for her.
As for the invitations, why dont you ask your fh to try and gather them up. When his mom sees him doing this, she will probably chime in, and help out.
dm24angel
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
you have plenty of time! My mom got her dress just 3 weeks ago ...3 1/2 weeks before the wedding, FH's mom gots her about 4 weeks ago as well. The address list can be done in a few hours.
I knwo its hard to think past yourself, I would be wondering when was a good time to ask too, but remember this wedding is OUR lives right now, but not everyone elses..Trust that she wont let you down, and let her grieve.
cresthollowbride
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
are you serious?? have you ever lost a parent. it doesnt matter how old or sick she was it is the most horrible thing to happen to someone, i know first hand, i lost my mother and believe this is not the right time to remind her to get a dress for your wedding. give her some time.
avery
Dooodles
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
Her Mom just died so there is no way she is going to be up for dress shopping or getting addresses for you. Does your FI know where her address book is? Perhaps he can sneek a peek at it while visiting her. She is going to need time to mourn. I would wait a few weeks, get the rest of your invites done and wait on those last few till the last minute. And she can find a dress in no time. Don't fret about that.
bluesashbride
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Re: FMIL's mom just died but......
Posted by Bunnymonkey
Is there anyone else that can give you the addresses? A sibling?
I think the dress should be the last of your concerns, I wouldn't ask her about that.
Why do you have to send the invites in 3 weeks? It looks like you have a bit more time than that. no?
i completely agree with bunnymonkey, but feel even stronger about the dress. if you are worrying about it, you are micromanaging what she can take care of herself.
as far as the invites, wait till after the funeral if you can. but i do understand that's more logistical.
