For NeesiePie... a brief history of my world

The Stealth Slider is a tiresome, annoying, psuedo-intellectual urban-hipster trapped in the weasely body of a wannabe-british suburbanite.

We used to chat briefly about music, and then movies, and then books, and then politics. It was harmless, infrequent and nice.

He started burning CDs for me (4 or 5 a month), and leaving books on my desk and photocopies of cultural events for NYC. It became constant and ANNOYING! He would slide over in his desk chair(hence the name Slider) during lunch and not say anything. He would wait for me to notice him and then mumble at me for 5 minutes!

I began to feel very uncomfortable around him, to the point where I would pretend I had to work during lunch or bolt to the bathroom if I thought I heard him coming.

So I politely brush him off for a few weeks.

So he sends me a 3-page email about how he enjoys my company, considers me his intellectual equal and no, he does not want to sleep with me (which he repeated 3 times....ew).

I freeze him out like it's my part-time job. Except he's still leaving crap on my desk i.e. : event listings, CDs, post it notes the size of postage stamps with 4 paragraphs of his rambling on them.

After a month he comes to my desk and asks what's wrong. I told him. He sort of leaves me alone, except, you know, NOT. And now hes got a chip on his shoulder... like I'm forcing him to be polite! What? Dude, IGNORE ME! I BEG YOU!

He gives me a creepy-*** Christmas card (with no note or signature???!!!).

Since coming back from New year's however, there has been NO CONTACT. None. Not even a morning 'hello'.

Until today when he comes over and tries to palm some pompous catalog off on me and I told him I didn't want it. Except it freaked me out that he came over to me so I was all stammering when I said that!


Whew.... that's a whole lotta creepy for one post!