For those of you getting married in a church...

...I was wondering how long it took you to actually secure/ book your date? I would love to get married at my parish, but I am a little upset with them. They said (actually the secretary said) that she can't hold a date for me (even through it is open) until we meet with the priest and he OFFERS the dates to us. The first available appointment with him is January 10th!!! Why does the priest have to offer the date when the calendar is right in front of the secretary? Has anyone heard of this?? I just wanted to tell the secretary to write my name on the calendar so no one else takes it, but she wouldn't do that!!! (By the way this is aCatholic parish in case that has anything to do with it. Does anyone know?).
I just got engaged this past weekend and as I have written in my posts, we would like to get married in July of 2003. Eight months is not a long time to plan and I have been scared about the availability of reception sites. We feel lucky to have two appointments to check out reception sites this weekend and they have dates available in July. What if we love one of them and want to put a deposit down? We won't even know if the church will be available!! We were hoping to have the ceremony and reception sites bookedby Xmas.
I am sorry forthe long vent, but I am so annoyed I am thinking of going to a different parish. But, the one request my parents have is that we get married in the parish our family has belonged to for 25 years and I want to do that for them. Any comments or suggestions? Thanks!

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I think that is so NUTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

What parish is it?

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

mine changed my time from 3 to 2pm after i had it booked for over a year!!! they said they double booked someone on accident & begged me to change MY time!
We think somone offered the church ALOT of money to get my time. Churches are crooked i think.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

That is soo retarded! Sorry.. I booked my church right after I booked the hall and had no problems..

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I am getting married in a Catholic church and we didn't go through this. They put us down in the book and then we will meet with the priest in a month or 2. If I were you I would stop by the church and ask to speak to the priest and tell him the situation. Explain that you are members of the parish and you would like to have your wedding there but are afraid the date will not be available if you don't book now.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

Our church is so small. We just went to talk to the priest one day, he checked the calendar and wrote down the date we wanted.
I don't understand why you have to wait so long.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

Well, look at it this way - if YOU can't get an appointment until Jan 10th, chances are no one else can either! But yes, this is a little strange - we were able to 'pencil in' our date before meeting with priest.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

You should call and ask the priest yourself... sometimes the secretaries have no idea what they're doing... besides, maybe she's new or something and doesn't know the procedure. Just if you get the receptionist when you call, don't tell her what it's regarding - that way she can't say that she already told you, etc., etc.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I had a hard time with my church as well - it took me a month to get an appintment with the priest and I could not even pencil a date in until I met with the priest which made it hard to book a place - also I tried to save money on my wedding but booking a Sunday night wedding and my church could only do a full mass (which was non-negotiable to my and my FI parents) 2 out of 4 Sundays a month - try booking a place like that! It was very hard but in the end we got it done.
Good luck!!

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I was told up front by FH's family that I better not tell the church that I had already booked the hall - that I needed to pretend that we were waiting for church availability before booking the hall. They said it would make Father mad if we put a hall before the church. Father never made an issue out of it whatsoever, but the secretary WOULD NOT schedule us until we actually met with Father. We met with him (he is 38 and lifts weights -totally buff -LOL), he was cool, and told us our date was fine. But he made us wait a month before he would meet with us.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

We had to meet with the priest first too. Luckily they had our date open. If you book a hall (don't tell the church) but tell them you have to work it out with the church and they should be flexible. Thats what we did. It is crazy but the priest asked us a few questions (seperated us) I think this is just how some churchs do it.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

The secretary at mine said something similar. But we were able to see the priest that weekend. Your priest is probably going away for the holidays possibly. Although he would be in for mass so that doesn't make sense. The secretary told me that he makes the decision on the date and time. Also you have a mini-interview with the priest before you talk about the date.
When are you planning on having your wedding?

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

My church wouldn't give me a date over the phone. I had to meet with the priest and he booked it. I got a meeting within a week and my date was open, so we had no problems.

There is no reason why you should have to wait until January to meet with him. I would call back and ask to speak with the priest directly.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

We booked with 2 different churches and on both occasions we had to book the date through the priest. (We obviously canceled one.)

We were very lucky! There was a cancellation for our date & time at the church that we really wanted! My FH doesn't have his annulment yet (should have it by Feb.), but the priest said 'the cancellation is a sign from God, so I'm putting ya' in the book anyway!'

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

We were able to pencil in our date, and then secured it when meeting w. the priest. I did not tell the priest that we had booked the hall...I was so worried he would freak when he found out we already lived together I did not want to add any more drama to the meeting

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I'm Jewish so thankfully the two location thing isn't that big of a problem.... but I must say, that is really disappointing of your church to do that. They know and see that you are in a real bind, that your deadline isn't as far away as others.... How can they be so inflexible?

Here is what I would do... Wait the church out until January. In the meantime, see reception sites that are open for that date and ask the recept sites to hold the date.... You can hold it with no money down. If someone else is interested in that date, they will call you and let you know. You get first dibs on that date. Then book the Church in January- then book the Hall with a deposit.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

I have to say that we too had to meet with the priest before they held the date. The priest likes to meet and get to know the couple a little before they just marry anyone...I guess its kind of silly...They really should let you at least reserve the date until you meet with the priest.

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

Thank you all for your advice and experiences. I think I will stop by the church office today and see what they can do. If nothing then I will see what the reception places can do for me as far as holding the date...I will let you all know. Thanks again!

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

Our church let us pencil in the date and when we actually meet with the priest it will become official. It was hard for us to schedule an appointment with the priest because of my FI's work schedule, but he told us he would be more than happy to pencil us in in the meantime. We looked at a few reception sites and once we decided we wanted to have it at the Fox Hollow I called them to find out what dates they had available. Then I called the priest and gave him the dates that we were considering to find out if they were still available. They were all open so we went ahead and booked the Fox Hollow and the priest penciled us in for the date. We will finally meet with him this weekend!

Re: For those of you getting married in a church...

If I'm not mistaken, I got the church within a week of the engagement..... My priest gave me no problems whatsoever! I feel badly for all of you having such a problem...........