For those of you who have a step-mother/step-mother-in-law

Do you send her a Mother's Day card?

I don't know what to do about Step-Mother-in-Law. If I were to ask DH if we should send her a Mother's Day card he'd say, 'helllll no', but I know that she'd really like to get a card.
She and I are not really that close (she and FIL live in Alabama) and DH is definately not close with her. He doesn't dislike her, he just doesn't really have any feelings towards her at all.

So I don't know if I should listen to DH and NOT send her a card (risking hurting her feelings) or send her a card even though DH and I don't really have any sort of bond with her.

When I had a step-mother that I liked, I sent her a card just to be courteous. I currently have a step-mom that I detest, so she'll get nothing and like it.

I found really incocuos mother's day cards in Hallmark...They aren't saying your mother or anything like that, just more like 'On this special day, thinking of you and wishing you well.' It doesn't have to be all smooshy but if you think she would appreciate it I would. I just spent $30 at Hallmark on cards for all the mothers and grandmothers, etc., in our families.

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Posted by wc0143

If DH would never/has never send/sent a card, I think you should keep with what he has always done.

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DH has NEVER sent her a card, but then again, he's not good with sending cards (he doesn't think it's 'manly'). And it always seems like it's the wife's job to send cards! So I feel like if I don't send a card, I'll look like the evil daughter-in-law!

This is a toughie......

I'd send a card. I always send one to my step-mom... There are always generic ones too

Hi Ann!

Yikes... that's a tough one. Why don't you see if you can find a card that says 'to a nice step-mother on Mother's Day' or something that isn't super-mushy. I swear that Hallmark has more of those type cards than the regular 'mom' ones (at least when I try to find one ).

If you can't find one of those I'd say just listen to your hubby. If she's never gotten one from him before, she's probably not expecting one now either. Besides, she will totally still get something from her son, she won't be forgotten. If it was her birthday and he didn't want to send her a card then that would be different.

JMO. Good luck man!

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Posted by Anniegrl

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Posted by wc0143

If DH would never/has never send/sent a card, I think you should keep with what he has always done.

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DH has NEVER sent her a card, but then again, he's not good with sending cards (he doesn't think it's 'manly'). And it always seems like it's the wife's job to send cards! So I feel like if I don't send a card, I'll look like the evil daughter-in-law!

This is a toughie......

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I still think that if his answer would be 'HELL NO!', then don't ...

I would say no. I have a step-mother-in-law and I am a step-mother, I would not disrespect my husband's wishes by sending a card anyway.

P.S. Little known fact, there is a stepparent day in September every year. I think it is the 16th.

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Posted by flyin'bride

Hi Ann!

Yikes... that's a tough one. Why don't you see if you can find a card that says 'to a nice step-mother on Mother's Day' or something that isn't super-mushy. I swear that Hallmark has more of those type cards than the regular 'mom' ones (at least when I try to find one ).

If you can't find one of those I'd say just listen to your hubby. If she's never gotten one from him before, she's probably not expecting one now either. Besides, she will totally still get something from her son, she won't be forgotten. If it was her birthday and he didn't want to send her a card then that would be different.

JMO. Good luck man!

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Hey man!
Yeah, I know that they have the non-mushy step-mother cards, so even though DH doesn't care to send her a card because she's not his mom, she is A mom, and I don't want to make her feel bad. I may just get a card and sign his name....

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Hey man!
Yeah, I know that they have the non-mushy step-mother cards, so even though DH doesn't care to send her a card because she's not his mom, she is A mom, and I don't want to make her feel bad. I may just get a card and sign his name....

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I guess one of the 'to a nice person on mother's day' cards would be appropriate.

Do you think his dad would make a big deal like 'Oh son, that was such a wonderful thing you did...' etc.?

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Posted by flyin'bride

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Hey man!
Yeah, I know that they have the non-mushy step-mother cards, so even though DH doesn't care to send her a card because she's not his mom, she is A mom, and I don't want to make her feel bad. I may just get a card and sign his name....

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Do you think his dad would make a big deal like 'Oh son, that was such a wonderful thing you did...' etc.?

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Oh yes, absolutely. One of the reasons why DH doesn't really care for his stepmother is because he thinks she's turning his Dad into a pansy
He's so mushy and sentimental now, and DH can't stand it!

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Posted by Anniegrl

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Posted by flyin'bride

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Hey man!
Yeah, I know that they have the non-mushy step-mother cards, so even though DH doesn't care to send her a card because she's not his mom, she is A mom, and I don't want to make her feel bad. I may just get a card and sign his name....

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Do you think his dad would make a big deal like 'Oh son, that was such a wonderful thing you did...' etc.?

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Oh yes, absolutely. One of the reasons why DH doesn't really care for his stepmother is because he thinks she's turning his Dad into a pansy
He's so mushy and sentimental now, and DH can't stand it!

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Well, I guess he can just point to you and say 'Ann did it'. lol

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Posted by flyin'bride

Well, I guess he can just point to you and say 'Ann did it'. lol

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No, no - FIL is the mushy one! But I'm working on DH. He's still got a lot of Marine Corps left in him

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Posted by Anniegrl

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Posted by flyin'bride

Well, I guess he can just point to you and say 'Ann did it'. lol

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No, no - FIL is the mushy one! But I'm working on DH. He's still got a lot of Marine Corps left in him

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No, I just meant that if his dad got mushy over it, DH could say he didn't do it and just blame it on you!

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Posted by flyin'bride

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Posted by Anniegrl

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Posted by flyin'bride

Well, I guess he can just point to you and say 'Ann did it'. lol

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No, no - FIL is the mushy one! But I'm working on DH. He's still got a lot of Marine Corps left in him

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No, I just meant that if his dad got mushy over it, DH could say he didn't do it and just blame it on you!

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Oh - gotcha! Yeah, that's probably what he'll do!
Wow, this is making MY family actually look normal