Does this mean we will be giving them 3 gifts? (e-party, bridal shower, wedding)
There is no reply by date. Should I call and ask how much time we have to respond, or since it's a party at her FH's home it could be assumed up to a week before would be necessary?
Also if we can't attend (the party is in NH in the beginning of January) do we just send cash or a gift from the registry?? And if this is the case, what would I get for the shower?
Sorry for all of the questions. I come from a family that does not believe in engagement parties!!
soon2bmrsdunn
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I understand how you feel about giving 3 gifts. This is on of the reasons I was thinking of not having an e-party. If however I was invited to one I would definitely give a gift even if I didn't attend. I personally woudl give money becaise I feel that it would help the couple out more with planning the wedding. JMO
BKtoLI
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I hear you. FH is not even very close with this cousin, but he was close with his aunt. And we are strapped ourselves with paying for our own wedding.
The reason we will probably not attend is because it's a 5 hour drive away, which means we would likely stay overnight, and that means paying for a hotel room. These are expenses we can't afford right now.
October Bliss
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
My e-party was traditional, meaning my mother hosted as a meet and greet FH family. No friends, no one beyond immediate family (brothers and sisters). It was very nice. My sister got me a picture frame, one brother got me champagne flutes and that was it. NO other gifts.
Laura&Phil
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
The only e-party I attended as a guest was for a close friend who requested no gifts. FH and I gave them a small gift card (I think 40 or 50). For our e-party- it was a surprise one thrown by our friends and they gave us gifts. The two I've thrown since then we gave gifts but I always had a group gift where people could put in as little as 10 and since there were a bunch of us it didn't look too cheap. Those who wanted to give more, did. Personally, I would only give a very small gift if it's not specified...my family doesn't believe in them either.
Personally, I'd wouldn't go and send a small gift with a nice note.
Rach703
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I had a big engagement party, with most of my family and friends from the area invited. Because of that, I will not be having a shower. Most people brought gifts from my registry and only a couple gave money.
hmpena
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
We had a very casual engagement barbecue. We didn't tell anyone we registered and just wanted everyone to have a good time. Some people brought gifts, while others brought food. From those that couldn't attend, they sent gifts from the registry.
BklynItaliana
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
i had a formal e-party... i recieved cash gifts, the only actual gifts we got were toasting flute to use that day from FH grandma, frame from FSIL, and gifts from people who didn't attend..
We chipped in w/ our parents to pay for it both parents gave whatever they could .. we paid for the rest.. our immediate families are to big together to have it at someones house so we had it at like a VFW...E-party is kind of like the official announcement that the couple got engaged and will be married.. you give whatever you can wether it's $50 or $100.. or buy them someething off the registry if you aren't going
lipglossjunky73
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I had a HUGE e-party, and people who couldnt attend still sent gifts... I dont know if I'll have a shower - thats a surprise isnt it? But yes, it does sound like a lot of gifts to have to give!!!
leese
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I had an engagement party and two showers... my poor MOH!
No but seriously, if you can't go, I would just send something small - a card with a gift certificate to a 'national store' or one of those 'mastercard' gift cards - they come in handy.
sarahthegreat
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
Posted by leese
I had an engagement party and two showers... my poor MOH!
No but seriously, if you can't go, I would just send something small - a card with a gift certificate to a 'national store' or one of those 'mastercard' gift cards - they come in handy.
i agree, this is a good idea.
mtdr1106
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
yes - in the end you will be giving 3 gifts.
but there is no etiquitte for e-party gifts. i read up on it before i had my e-party and it tells you not to expect gifts (like a shower - which the purpose is to get 'showered' with housewarming gifts) so you do not have to pack the envelope with $$$ or run and buy an expensive something.
also - since its being held @ the house it sounds really casual. so i would just call - like you said a week before and tell them.
good luck!
MattsBride
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
We had an engagement party at my parents house. We only invited immediate family (parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles) it was about 50 people. My mom wanted to have a party for us, but we agreed it should be something informal because we didn't want to be asking people for more gifts. We received many registry items and aunts and uncles gave us money. I am going to have a shower also (but it will be a surprise) and most of the people being invited to that were not at the engagement party.
kathrynlinton
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
Yes, I think you will end up giving 3 gifts. My cousin was recently in a wedding that had a MASSIVE engagment party, then a jack and jill shower, a girls only shower, the first wedding was a DW in Aruba and then another reception at the Garden City Hotel. Can you believe??? My cousin said she spent almost $10k in total!!
Now, I had an engagement party, but it was mainly for the purpose of meeting FI's mother. We got a few very nice gifts, but it wasn't a huge deal.
Is this going to be a big party? Do you know when the wedding is?
mhermanns
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
We just had our engagement party the weekend before thanksgiving. There were about 75-80 people there. Everyone gave us gifts. We got like maybe 8 gifts and the rest was cash. We didn't register before the party-we aren't getting married until 2007 and I have no where to really put gifts right now. If it was me and it was family, I would probably think how close I or FH am to the person and then how much I could afford to give. But you should give them a shower gift also because it IS family. Doesn't mean you have to break the bank though! You can send $50 (you are having your own wedding, I am sure they understand!)
july06bride
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
3 gifts- Yes
I would do a registry item but I do not think you need to spend $$$
dpli
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
We had one, but it was a BBQ, mainly for the families to meet one another before the wedding. We got gifts from almost everyone, but I didn't have a shower, so I think a lot of people just gave us what they would have given if I had the shower. Most of the gifts were items from our registry, and I think my sister spread the word about where we were registered. I think 3 people gave us money gifts.
Shorty McBride
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
I think it really depends when the wedding is...if there's an e-party AND a shower AND a wedding all within 1 year, I might just send a nice card for the engagement.
Mrs.A2006
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
Posted by Shorty McBride
I think it really depends when the wedding is...if there's an e-party AND a shower AND a wedding all within 1 year, I might just send a nice card for the engagement.
I agree....my Mom threw us an e-party and it was really for my parent's and FH's parents to meet each others family. We only had immediate family. Some people did buy things off the registry, some gave small gifts and some people gave money. My family from out of town that did not come (but were invited) overall did not send gifts. Out of the people that did not come only one family sent a gift. So I would say if you are not going there is no need to send a gift. A card would be fine.
jellybean1420
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Re: For those who had Engagement parties
We had an engagement party. It was more casual, a BBQ, and had about 75 close friends and family. Most people asked where I was registered when they called my mom to RSVP, so I registered for some smaller items. We mostly got $$$$ but some gifts as well.
Being it is his cousin, maybe a nice picture frame or something on their registry in the $50-$75 range is good.
