For those who hugged me last week...
Update on Dad.
It seems as if my family has been jerked around one too many times. Yesterday, the integrity of my dad's private duty nurses was put in question. The regular staff nurses and doctors of the acute geriatric unit where Dad is were implying and out right stating that they (the private duty nurses)were doctoring his files and suctioning him through his trach tube a lot more than he needed to be in order for them to keep their jobs AND to keep him from being moved to a nursing unit where we could no longer afford to have private duty nurses. Without the private duty nursing care, my father could choke to death because he is not being suctioned frequently enough. This was simply not the case as far as the nurses were concerned. One of his private duty nurses had to actually PROVE how badly my father needed her to suction him by showing the doctor. Now Daddy is BACK in the Respiratory Care Unit where his needs can be met WITH private duty nurses. I am glad for that but still, he gets worse everyday.
Tomorrow I have the first of four appointments with photographers and thats when I lose it. Watching videos and seeing pictures of brides with their fathers leaves an empty pit in my stomach. We (FH and I) and my whole family have been through 8 months of this and it isn't getting better. I feel so horrible for FH too. Every time we get excited about planning, I get a memory or I feel sad because Daddy won't be there. I cry and get angry that we can't help him anymore. FH stands by me but I know it isn't easy for him.
Last November, about a month after Daddy got sick, we planned a vacation to Mexico at Secrets Capri Riviera Maya for June 28th through July 4th. We were smart and took travel insurance, but we never thought Daddy would survive this long. It has been day to day for 8 months. Mom says we should go unless something is imminent and if something happens, we can always fly home. I am so torn about leaving but sometimes I just need a break. Life does have to go on I suppose but it su*ks nonetheless.
It seems as if my family has been jerked around one too many times. Yesterday, the integrity of my dad's private duty nurses was put in question. The regular staff nurses and doctors of the acute geriatric unit where Dad is were implying and out right stating that they (the private duty nurses)were doctoring his files and suctioning him through his trach tube a lot more than he needed to be in order for them to keep their jobs AND to keep him from being moved to a nursing unit where we could no longer afford to have private duty nurses. Without the private duty nursing care, my father could choke to death because he is not being suctioned frequently enough. This was simply not the case as far as the nurses were concerned. One of his private duty nurses had to actually PROVE how badly my father needed her to suction him by showing the doctor. Now Daddy is BACK in the Respiratory Care Unit where his needs can be met WITH private duty nurses. I am glad for that but still, he gets worse everyday.
Tomorrow I have the first of four appointments with photographers and thats when I lose it. Watching videos and seeing pictures of brides with their fathers leaves an empty pit in my stomach. We (FH and I) and my whole family have been through 8 months of this and it isn't getting better. I feel so horrible for FH too. Every time we get excited about planning, I get a memory or I feel sad because Daddy won't be there. I cry and get angry that we can't help him anymore. FH stands by me but I know it isn't easy for him.
Last November, about a month after Daddy got sick, we planned a vacation to Mexico at Secrets Capri Riviera Maya for June 28th through July 4th. We were smart and took travel insurance, but we never thought Daddy would survive this long. It has been day to day for 8 months. Mom says we should go unless something is imminent and if something happens, we can always fly home. I am so torn about leaving but sometimes I just need a break. Life does have to go on I suppose but it su*ks nonetheless.
